Steeped in Fiction

Here I am. I've been watching Battlestar Galactica for only about a week now, and I've covered about 25 hours of it.

I've played more Video Games in the past few days than in the whole month prior to coming home. Part of that has to do with lack of money, and now an excess of free time, but in some ways it feels good.

The psychologist dude I went to talk to in St. John's talked about escapism. I've been thinking about escapism, what he's said, and what I've read. Escapism becomes a problem when, like anything else, it gets overused or abused. A few years back, I found a book completely published online. I read it nonstop for a whole weekend. By the end of the weekend, I had to think a few seconds before I remembered where I was, and that my best friend's name was not "Sharon."

I don't think I'm approaching that level of absurdity right now, but I'm always wary. I'm going to call these past few days entertainment, but I worry what's going to happen to me over the next semester. Good friends will be gone, and I'm going to have a whole lot more time, what with not having any labs or anything. I plan on getting a job, but how busy is that going to keep me, really? And will it just fuel this addiction to fiction that sometimes rears it's head.

Is that "addiction" even a problem?

It's going to be an interesting few months. I'm hoping for a few blissful bumps along the way, but I hope it's less ... gross ... than the past few months.

Good Times

Despite the great times I'm having home, there are some people I wish I didn't have to see again.

I remember why, in some ways, I tried to abandon my old circle of friends. The core was great, but the fringes weren't so awesome. Now, I don't know what else I could have done. I ran to a group that I thought would be better for me, to discover that though the moral fiber was there, I wasn't going to fit. Nobody seemed to want me to fit.

Now I look forward to St. John's again. Half of the group of friends I fit best with there, are leaving on the 15th-16th of January. And those are the friends I fit best with. I feel like running away for a while. Just seeing where else I can be. Just experience stuff.

But I don't think this is the time to punch out. This feeling will probably pass, and I'll be comfortable down in my social and academic rut once again.

Something is wrong with where I am. And I don't know what it is, or how to fix it.

Battlestar Quote

I'm loving me some Battlestar Galactica right now. A new favourite moment in Science Fiction is at hand.

Commander Adama: (Observing a quiet moment between a crew member and civilian) They better start having babies.
Executive Officer Tigh: "Is that an order?"

Last Gifts, and Chillin

Due to a screw-up in my Christmas list, I bought an extra CD. I'm glad I messed that up, to be honest. I'm enjoying some Nickelback now.

Tomorrow I do some Christmas basket packing at the 'Army Thrift Store. I'm thinking that in addition to finding a job in January, I might look to do some work for the 'Army when I go back to St. John's.

Today and yesterday I spent a nice few hours just hanging with friends, some whom I haven't hung around with enough, I've discovered. How did I let that happen?

It was a good birthday. I got a TNIV / Message parallel bible that I was looking at in St. John's from my parents. And a very thoughtful housemate gave me the gift of Will Smith. Fresh Prince season 1 much? I wouldn't have even thought to ask Santa, but it's probably one of the most perfect things ever.

Gotta do a few more present-buyings tomorrow after I finish at the Thrift Store. Then perhaps some more chilling.

I want to live in a Monastery. Maybe a Buddhist Monastery. That would be pretty wicked. Maybe a year later I might have a different thought, but who knows? It sounds neat at least.

Auspicious Day

"What day is it?"

"What month is it?"

I went to Staples today to see how it is. I noticed World of Warcraft was on sale for only $20. My nan gave me $20 for my Birthday.

So I bought it. Won't be able to play for a while, as I haven't gotten a subscription yet, but the first nail is in the coffin.

I'm so excited now. =D

Blasphemy

This is sort of a response to The Blasphemy Challenge, and I know I don't get too many comments here (whether it comes from lack of readership, or lack of interest I'm not sure), but I thought I'd put this out there:

Does anybody have any thoughts on Mark 3:29? I don't want this to be too out of context, so I'll post the verses leading up to it, and the one following.

=====

22 And the teachers of the law who came down from Jerusalem said, "He is possessed by Beelzebul! By the prince of demons he is driving out demons."

23 So Jesus called them over to him and began to speak to them in parables: "How can Satan drive out Satan? 24 If a kingdom is divided against itself, that kingdom cannot stand. 25 If a house is divided against itself, that house cannot stand. 26 And if Satan opposes himself and is divided, he cannot stand; his end has come. 27 In fact, no one can enter a strong man's house without first tying him up. Then he can plunder the strong man's house. 28 Truly I tell you, people will be forgiven all their sins and all the blasphemies they utter. 29 But whoever blasphemes against the Holy Spirit will never be forgiven, but is guilty of an eternal sin."

30 He said this because they were saying, "He has an evil spirit."

=====

Mark 3:22-30, from the TNIV.

Home For A Few Weeks

After an all-nighter including Robin Hood: Men in Tights, and much laughing/joking, I slept several hours through a bus trip bringing me to the West Coast of Newfoundland.

I'm home right now, in my own bed. Maybe it's just because I'm tired, but this feels like a visit. Even that feeling of not having anything to do, which I always used to have while visiting Clarenville, is haunting me now.

Tomorrow night I'll probably go to the Temple and see some long lost friends, and perhaps even go for Pizza or something. Mom's put my name in to volunteer with the Family Services here over the break, which is probably the most awesome thing she could have done ... ever.

Plus I want to do a bit of an art project while I'm here, but I think that'll just have to not happen, since I don't exactly have all the equipment required.

It doesn't feel like my birthday is less than a week away. It doesn't feel like Christmas yet.

Corner Brook Friends

At the beginning of this year, I made a move.

Now, I'm going to attempt to reverse that move, and I fear it won't work. On one hand, I don't deserve to be taken back as a friend, because I left them. I tried to get into a new group. Which would be "better" for me. On the other hand, these friends have taken me back before. They're understanding, they don't judge, and they love more often than other friends.

And despite this hopeful direction, I know things are going to be the same. People will be busy. People will still not have time. But more of these delinquents have made time for me, than any other friends.



How could I have ever left them? Here's to an awesome Christmas.

Wicked Sweet Days

So, yesterday could only be described with the words "Wicked Sweet."

I woke up to a house left all to me. I lounged around a bit, until I heard knocking at my door. Mark, Meighan, and Greg, being totally awesome!

They went to Catherine's for a minute, and I got a shower, after some aimless wandering, we ended up back at my house, watching 12 Monkeys. I laughed at the title, but honestly, it's a pretty awesome movie.

At 3 was my German exam, which went okay, except for the translation. This is how it went down (Italicized are my words):

"Translate the following paragraph from German into ideomatic(sp?) English.

No."

After that, I went to the store and picked up some munchies, plus a birthday card for Greg. Got home, watched the rest of the movie, and waited for people to show up. Mark showed up at 8, Meighan at 9:15, Catherine at 10:30, and then Greg at like 12:30.

Greg and I went to play X Box when I discovered that my 360 had passed on. A call to Microsoft told the tale of woe: $170 for a replacement.

We'll see. I could just sell my extra gear and buy a Wii.

Anyways, Greg and Meighan never really left, until this morning, and Greg only left at like, 4. Now tonight is another "gang" Christmas party, where I'll be able to distribute Christmas Gifts.

Leaving in the morning. I can't wait to be a fool in Corner Brook again. I'm feeling more confident in my foolishness, so much fun will be had.

Things of Beauty

Check it out.

Just spend some time looking.

We have such incredible things around us too, but I know I don't always take the time to look.

Julius Caesar Style

I laughed.


"... They stabbed him with icicles. - Julius Caesar style."

Is it just me, or would that make a hilarious picture?

Strange Compliments

It's strange.

The most genuine compliment I've received in a while was as follows:

"... but by my definition you're an agnostic because you are open to other possibilities--this is regardless of the fact that you still believe God exists."

That gives me the warm fuzzies. I guess you have to understand the context.

Reminds me of the time that the nicest thing a person had done for me in a while was offer me a cigarette. And the time when a classmate tossed me a beer.

F-Bombs

I said "The F-Word" for the first time in a while today.

I thought I had weeded that word out of my vocabulary by now.

I turned on the tap expecting cold water, and got very, very, very hot water. It was the first word ready to describe what I was feeling, and thus, lept forth before my brain had a chance to reign him in.

Fun.

BBQ Sauce Saves The Day

Hah! My new hero is a condiment!



Yayyyy, BBQ Sauce!

Chapters Adventure

So, fed up with waiting for Catherine to get her act together (=P), I decided that instead of calling my Chapters quest off, I'd continue on, and go alone.

I'm proud to announce that after some looking around, and talking to Suyen, I grabbed an armchair, Root Beer, and read my book a little.

While at Chapters, I experienced (rather, sensed from fifty feet away) the magic of a Rex Goudie signing. Apparently he had security guards. Root Beer came out of my nose as I heard this.

After browsing for a while, I've decided that once I've dug through my pile of "read me" books, I want to get Plato's Republic. I felt quite superior thumbing through philosophy and religion books while Rex Goudie fans jumped up and down. It was a jerkish feeling, but seriously ... Rex Goudie.

A side note: I was almost ready to buy a Qur'an, but 1) Chapters didn't have any, and 2) to order one would be $140. Maybe later, hey?

Rob Bell's Velvet Elvis was there, which I want to get, but decided against getting for now.

Books in my cue for reading:

Have to Finish
Shadows of the Empire
Saddam's Secrets
Sophie's World
Josephus: The Essential Works
Need to Start
Eusebius: The Church History
The End Of History And The Last Man

Wow, that's only six. I must be forgetting some.

I Just Stopped Breathing

Not even kidding. I just swore really loud, and stopped breathing for a second when I saw this article.

Please, oh please, oh please, oh please be Mac Compatible!



I love you Captain Reynolds.

Tired

I feel like I should blog about something, but there's nothing I can think of to blog on.

This time next week I'll be home.

I need to get a job next term.

I was bothered tonight when an adult insinuated that I'm being an idiot with my life. I'm bothered because I can't argue it, but I still feel like I'm doing what's right. I'm gonna become an Arts student, because that feels like that's where I'm supposed to be. Apparently it'll be more right if I do something I really don't want to do, and make a crapload of money.

Yeah. Why not? Just take a pre-fabricated life instead of shaping my own.

Ugh, I'm trying to figure out what's on the go, but the wheels aren't turning in my head. I think I broke my brain when I went to Tim's.

Physics exam in the morning. Washing and trying to figure out how to dry my clothes (i.e. not use the broken dryer) in the afternoon. Chapters with Catherine in the evening.

How is nobody else in this house in the middle of a crisis? No dryer, people! Maybe I'll just go to a nearby laundromat. That'd be pretty urban.

What I Am ...

I did some of these the other day.

The internet thinks I am ...

You Are a Life Blogger! Your blog is the story of your life - a living diary.
If it happens, you blog it. And make it as entertaining as possible

Your Life Is Worth... $954,000

You Are 58% Passionate, 42% Compassionate You possess an ideal balance of passion and compassion.

You definitely can get swept away and lose your head a little.

But you're rarely a fool for love!

You Are 60% Pure Well, you're not exactly an angel - but you're pretty darn close.

But chances are, you have a couple juicy secrets deep in your closet.

Your Theme Song is Back in Black by AC/DC "Back in black, I hit the sack,

I've been too long, I'm glad to be back"

Things sometimes get really crazy for you, and sometimes you have to get away from all the chaos.

But each time you stage your comeback, it's even better than the last!

Cheese Pizza Traditional and comforting.

You focus on living a quality life.

You're not easily impressed with novelty.

Yet, you easily impress others.

Joshua Alvin Thompson's Aliases

Your movie star name: Doritos Kenmore

Your fashion designer name is Joshua Amsterdam

Your socialite name is Joshie St. John's

Your fly girl / guy name is J Tho

Your detective name is Penguin Herdman

Your barfly name is Root Beer None

Your soap opera name is Alvin Windsor St.

Your rock star name is Salt Water Taffy Rocket

Your Star Wars name is Jossmo Thojil

Your punk rock band name is The Happy Asteroid

A Walk Through The Realm Of Philosophy

So I just decided to go for a walk to Tim Horton's to allow my brain gears to grind a little. I've been reading a book called Sophie's World, which is really all about the history of Philosophy. This fresh on the brain, my thoughts churned over a few topics. The one that slapped me in the face is that age-old question that made me laugh at it's stupidity when I first heard it in Grade 3.

"If a tree falls in the forest, and nobody's there to hear it, does it make a sound?"

Obviously the question is worded inadequately, since what we're meant to think about isn't what physically happens, but what we classify as sound.

The answer that used to be so satisfying: "Of course it does!" didn't satisfy tonight. I still don't really have an answer, but I've sort of constructed a mental framework, as it were, to build upon later.

I realized that when I was dissatisfied with my answer earlier, I was defining "sound" more as music than as physical vibrations. I decided to keep this definition, originally, meaning that somebody had to be present in order to listen to the sound for it to actually be sound. To interpret it, really.

Then I got thinking about music. What is music? It's obviously more than just sound. I got to thinking: What if somebody was singing in the forest, or perhaps, a solar-powered CD player that somebody forgot, and left on to play for all eternity. Would that still be music if there was nobody there to hear it? I mean, can there be music without what I've defined as sound?

Obviously that's a weird thought. So I've decided that there has to be sound when a tree falls. The vibration definition will have to do. But what about the music?

I got to thinking, and I really decided that there are two people that count in any art. The creator, and the observer, the creator being the absolute most important. After the creator leaves, a painting remains art, because it was the effort, the result of the Artist's action, that constitutes the piece, right? So if a painting was hung in the forest, with nobody to observe it, it would still be art. So it's the same for the CD player in the wilderness. The creator is not there, but it was the result that was the music anyways. Somebody could go listen to it, but even if nobody even knew of it's existence, other than the artist, it would remain music.

So I've concluded for myself that sound is a part of the physical world, if nobody is there to hear it, it's still there. Art is different, but has the same end result. Art is all about expression and interpretation, if one of those two actions takes place, I personally would constitute it art. So the song that nobody other than the songwriter's ever heard is still music.

But that leaves one final puzzle for myself: what about what I've always called "God's Art?" No human made it, so does it constitute as art? If we see it, then we can interpret or appreciate it, so would that make it art? Does that mean that the horsehead nebula, something I've always pointed to as "God's Art" wasn't "God's Art" before we saw it?

Obviously I need to realize that the definition of Art must lie in the creation of it. Thus, if it's art at the point of interpretation, it must have been art at the point of creation as well. It's a different art, divine art, I guess, but art none the same.

Which would mean that we're art. All of us. Because God created us. But a paper I write for school, I don't consider art, maybe God created us in that way.

Perhaps, but I don't think so. We're made in his image, and that thought makes me think "art." more than "assignment."

Ugh this philosophy crap is going to kill me. I hope anybody who decided to follow this through to the conclusion aren't demanding their half hour back. If so, just email me, and I'll take you out for Coffee, free of charge to make up for it (=P).

Unless, of course, you live in Oregon!

Maybe I'll blog soon what I wrote while I was at Tim Horton's. I 'observed' (read eavesdropped) on a conversation some strangers were having, and had some thoughts on it, which I promptly wrote down. A sort of map-drawing activity, in case I get lost in this realm of thinking.

And finally: everybody seriously go out, grab a philosophical question, and think on it. It feels so good to work this stuff through, even if you're 90% sure you've come to the wrong conclusion.

388 Water St.

Can you see it? Can you imagine it? Doesn't it yell at you, what it could be?



Where does one get $350 000.00? My fishbowl has about $3.47.

Three Red Lights

I almost just cried myself into oblivion.

Robyn discovered, when she went to watch some Full House on my X Box 360, that it certainly wasn't working. Three red lights glared up at me, trying to communicate the problem.

I looked it up, and it means "Hardware Failure."

A part of me died. My first X Box 360 died, and it was replaced with a second generation machine, which should mean no problems.

Not so.

Anyways, it's okay now, but I'll forever be wary of my machine. Like the guy who's PS2 started chewing up CDs randomly. You just can't trust it anymore. Something is gone from the relationship.

I've also determined that I'd rather have a comfy reading chair now than a girlfriend. Sad? Yes. Luckily this one in my house fits the bill, but for next year, I want one to call my own.

On the Attack

So.

I was talking to my friend about a sermon I had heard recently. Exciting I know, but I mentioned one of the quips the speaker let out. He said something along the lines of "I don't want to go on another Retreat. I want to go on the attack for once."

That really hit me, since it's something I've been thinking about. What it means to be on the attack in the Salvation Army. The popular belief seems to be that we're on the attack every day, just by going out into the world, and living good lives. Smiling at people, holding doors, and when the situation calls very clearly for it: speaking of God.

Sure. Why not. It's St. Francis of Assisi. "Preach the gospel always, and if necessary, use words."

But is that far enough? If I had to classify that in a military way, that would be holding the lines. We're possibly influencing somebody's day, making the world a little brighter, but it's not enough.

An attack, as far as I'm concerned, is getting out there. You work hard when you're on the attack. You're in the line of fire. You're out past the front line, you're in No Man's Land.

The Salvation Army isn't on the attack anymore. As an organization, the battle duties have been delegated to Officers, and hired staff. It's become the Salvation Reserves.

What can we do to fix that? Maybe we should all ditch the country club. Maybe we should burn down our churches. Who knows? If we've got nowhere to be comfortable in, then we might actually do some of the Lord's work.

Community service should be mandatory for Soldiers in the Salvation Army. You can't join the Canadian Forces and expect not to do your duty. Then how is it one can be a Soldier in the Salvation Army, and not be on the front lines?

NOTE: I'm just as guilty as the next Soldier. Just trying to figure this out.

Do you think we'll ever meet them?

Bweeeee! New Halo 3 commercial, and I almost wet my pants watching it.

Who's excited? I hope that shield thing ACTUALLY IS what the X button does.

NERV

I've always loved the NERV logo. Strangely enough, though, today was the first time I noticed the motto, or whatever it is, written around the bottom.

"God's in his heaven, all's right with the world."

I can understand the sentiment, I guess we all can. Obviously I don't agree with the statement, but it feels sometimes like God isn't on our side, doesn't it?

I had this conversation with a friend of mine about a week ago. When stuff goes bad, we blame God, but do we even give a thought to the fact that Satan's probably working harder?

A friend of mine in High School was talking about his "religion" (actually a cult). He looked at me and said "... but you're a Christian, you don't believe in demons."

Oh no, my friend. I probably believe in them more than you do.

Craziness

This is going to be long, since I want to tell two stories that are related, plus I need to rave about my night.

Story #1 actually happened. It's actually pretty short. I'll just dive in.

After church last night, a group of us decided "Hey! Let's go to A&W!" So we did. I had a Mozza Burger with Swiss Cheese. Doesn't that make it NOT a mozza burger? Anyways, much fun was had, especially when we started talking about cartoon shows and the like. Some were speechless when I outlined my plan for a Coup: a simple plan for a better Salvation Army (Note: I was joking). I think people started yelling at me when I outlined how we would invade IHQ.

Anyways. After this, the group split. Long story short, Rebecca and I discussed marriage. I believe my exact words were: "... I mean, c'mon. I'm totally wicked, and you're kind of okay. It could work." Much laughter was had, and my approach was questioned. I honestly can't understand why.

Story #2 is a dream, that I believe was heavily influenced by Story #1, My "Govenator" T-Shirt, and the discussion of movies that Greg and I had.

There were a bunch of us. The whole "Gang" from the citadel, plus some others. We were on a cruise ship, and I'm honestly not sure if it was a space-ship, or a regular boat. Anyways, Rebecca and I were somehow married, and I, yes I, was pregnant.

Some game was being played, which included much running. When I ran to the front of the ship, I met Mr. Ahnold Schvatzeneggah (I am aware that this is the incorrect spelling).

"I see that you are carrying a baby."
"Uuh, what?"
"You are pregnant."
"Uuh, yeah, I guess I am."
"It's rough."
"It is."
A pause.
"Hey, you were pregnant, right?" I ask.
"Yes. In Junior." (It's a movie for those who don't know)
"How did you get through it."

Yes, Manly Man Arnold and I had a conversation about pregnancy. I just thought that was so hilarious.

Anyways, my night:

The girls decided they would have a sleepover, in their typical girlie fashion. Rebecca, Stephanie, and Catherine, went somewhere, to have this celebration of the night. Greg and I decided we'd do the same.

He came over to the house, and watched movies.

First we watched Dragon Ball Z ... one of the movies. I honestly cannot believe how much I've missed that show. Some of it was foolish, but I can't say I don't like it. Gogeta kicks ass.

Then we watched V for Vendetta. I didn't expect much from that movie, but I really liked it. A fairly compelling storyline, great vocabulary, and decent fight scenes. I'd watch it again in a heartbeat.

This morning, after some breakfast, we watched Starship Troopers. I really enjoyed that, since it's sort of a Sci-Fi classic I've been meaning to see. A fair bit of cheese, and gore, but great nonetheless.

Then Greg and I played Halo 2. I'd forgotten how awesome multiplayer really is.

Now I need to reconstruct my room, and give some serious thought to studying. Foolishly, the past two months of notes were simply dumped on my floor, and there's an unsorted pile retaining the knowledge that I need to review. Appropriately enough, said pile is underneath my garbage can right now.

This is going to take a while.

I Feel Sick

The title says it all, I guess.

Still searching for a direction.

Going to take it somewhere new.



Watch the video. I thought it was great.

"Do you know that I mean when I say 'I don't want to be alone'?"

Yip Yip Yip Yip Yip Yip

Oh Sesame Street. How I miss you.

Searching for a Complaint

I have a huge respect for George Bush. Is he the most brilliant man on earth? No. Would I like to serve under him if he Annexed Canada? No. But the man takes so much flack, and still hasn't killed himself.

I've come to accept that somebody, somewhere will always complain about something. It sucks, because obviously, I'd prefer if everyone were happy, but that's not happening. I just have to ignore it, I guess, which is really hard for me.

I came across this while blog-hopping today. I thought it was pretty neat. Wierd? Yes. Helpful? Heck yes.

This is comforting to me. With all the fuss about this stuff, I'm always afraid Canada will pull out of Afghanistan, and the US will pull out of Iraq. It'd be like running to somebody's crappy house, kicking it over, stating "We'll help you build a better one!" and then leaving before the work is finished. Do I agree with the Americanization of every living being? Of course not! But the more I read of The End Of History, the more I realize that these people need Democracy.

I'm not entirely sure it's happening the best way, but it'll have to be 2040 before we can look back and say the Iraq war was a mistake, or we should have gone about bringing democracy to Afghanistan a different way.

EDIT: More exiting articles!

A whale of a jerk, and Church gang wars in China.

To Create

"If you read this line, remember not the hand that wrote it
Remember only the verse, songmaker's cry the one without tears
For I've given this its strength and it has become my only strength ..."
~Nightwish: Dead Boy's Poem

I want to create. I want to make something. Put my effort into something that'll change somebody's life. Or at least have meaning to somebody other than me and those who pity me.

I want to be part of something epic. I want to change the world. Make it better.

What do I really want to do? Where am I going?

I hear my friends complain about not knowing what they want to do. The thought hit me the other day that I really don't know what I'm doing either. I think to myself "Don't worry about it. Do whatever, you'll be fine no matter what happens." But I suppose knowing that there are jobs in Engineering, or Nursing, or whatever, is comforting. I want that.

Somebody asked me the other day what I want to do when I get out of school. I immediately said "leave the developed world." I was half joking, but then I got thinking about it ...

I still worry this is a romance that plays in my head. I think I might actually be addicted to the internet. Well, maybe it's just something I fill my time with. Either way, if I do "leave the developed world," it'll be painful.

But at least it's a direction to walk in, for now.

I need to study my German. Then perhaps I'll go to sleep.

Moulds

I came across a "monologue" as it were the other day, that I really like, and seems to be pertinent to how I've been feeling lately.

Here it is: from xkcd.

=====

The infinite possibilities each day holds should stagger the mind. The sheer number of experiences I could have is uncountable, breathtaking, and I'm sitting here refreshing my inbox. We live trapped in loops, reliving a few days over and over. And we envision only a handful of paths laid out ahead of us. We see the same things each day, we respond the same way, we think the same thoughts, each day a slight variation of the last, every moment smoothly following the gentle curves of societal norms. We act like if we just get through today, tomorrow our dreams will come back to us.

And no, I don't have all the answers. I don't know how to jolt myself into seeing what each moment could become. But I do know one thing: The solution doesn't involve watering down my every little idea and creative impulse for the sake of someday easing my fit into a mold. It doesn't involve tempering my life to better fit someone's expectations. It doesn't involve constantly holding back for fear of shaking things up.

This is very important, so I want to say it as clearly as I can:

F***.

That.

S***.

Everyone Else Is Doing It

Since it seems to be the cool thing to do ...

My schedule:
(Those blank spots at 9:00 Mon, Wed, and Fri will be filled with "Introduction To Philosophy" which I'm still on the waiting list for)

Beautiful Complaints

Just thought I'd post this here. I know, I know, two post day. But listen and read. Kind of funny how nice these complaints sound.



EDIT:
Not as good, but there's another in English:

Nightwish

I'm here in the SASF room now. I love coming here, because there are always about five different people with shared music on my iTunes. I can listen to other people's music. I've been curious about Nightwish for some time, and lucky me, "Jen Q" has some. I'm listening, and I like very much.

I wanna see what they have at HMV for these dudes now. The music I've listened to so far comes from the "Century Child" album. Their Phantom of The Opera rocks, no pun intended.

Speaking of bands from Finland, I need to get that Rajaton CD I've always talked about too.

EDIT: I just thought I'd tack this on here: I found a short 'conversation' in a webcomic, that I thought was pretty neat for no real reason:

"What time is it?"
"Now."
"That's a pretty boring answer."
"It's not. It's the least boring answer imaginable."

Beyond that, I've fallen in love with the latin word "Nemo" which means nobody.

The captain of the submarine in 20 000 Leagues Under the Sea was Captain Nemo, which is apparently where Nemo got his name in the Disney movie.

This fascination with "Nemo" comes from the Nightwish song, which sounds like it's written to Captain Nemo. Apparently, the band gets mobbed with Nemo plush toys when they play live concerts though.

Weird.

Real Last CS1710 Lab

This is my real last Computer Science lab ever. Be excited.

It's twenty to three now. Last week I was almost done by now. I haven't even started yet today.

It's hard to be motivated.

I'm going to end up not doing work, doing okay on the quiz, alright on the exam, and then whine about how useless it all was.

In the meantime, I think I'll go get a snack.

=====

NOTE: I've taken artistic liscence. I know it's not completely useless.

Gross Monday

I feel so sick right now. This is bad, since Meighan has given me the ultimatum: stop coughing by Monday, or get dragged to the doctor. I'm not coughing as much, but now I actually feel sick. Gross.

This is my last "Mournful Monday" ever. Next term I won't have to wait around until 4:30 for a Computer Science quiz every Monday. Yeah!

I've got a ticket-thinger to an advance screening of The Nativity. It's good for two people, and despite having mass enough for three (discovered with a teeter-totter on a late-night trip to the park), I count as simply one.

Greg and Catherine are going. I'll feel like a tag-along if I don't get somebody else to go.

Going home in 2.5 weeks. Wewt, yes? Gotta do some work, make some money, and relax with friends. I'd better not have a free night while I'm home!

But at the same time, I wish I could be here over Christmas, in some ways. Or at least for new-years. But I'll have three months of St. John's next term, so I can't complain about spending an extra week in Corner Brook. Heck, I can't complain anyways, Corner Brook rocks.

I've also stopped getting annoyed at people writing "X"mas this year. People have complained to me that "You're 'X'ing out 'Christ!'" but that's not true at all. The letter X MEANS Christ.

It's the first letter in the Greek(or Latin, I'm not sure) spelling of 'Jesus' or something. Which evolved to be the letter that people wrote when they can't sign for themselves, AND the letter we use to signify the kiss in "xoxo."

I've talked to a guy who writes "Christian" as "Xian" now. Pretty neat.

Merry Xmas then!

Wow

Well. Not the first genocide proposed, but it's the first one I can remember that I've been threatened by.



This man seriously needs prayer.

The Thought Attacked Me

I've been thinking these past few days about a quote I read somewhere a few years ago. In typical Thompson-brain fashion, I don't remember the context, or the exact words, but I do remember the gist, and it's been clawing at my brain lately.

"If you were told you're about to die, who would you call, and what would you say?

More importantly: Why aren't you calling them right now."

I can't think of anybody I'd call to apologize to, reveal something to, tell something to. Is that me being ignorant, or am I living my life how it should be lived?

Maybe I'm thinking too big. I'd probably call my brother, or my parents to tell them I love them.

So yeah ...

The end, I guess.

Go listen to Anberlin. Now.

Music, Lack of Late Fees, and Physics Labs

Exaggerated Story from my day:
Today, I professed my love for Zack. Initially I meant it as a joke, to simply get a reaction, but I've re-evaluated that position. I think I actually might be in love with Zack. He points me in the direction of free music.

Explanation and Exclamation:
There's a free music sampler on purevolume.com from Tooth & Nail records, and after downloading and having a listen, this is definitely the best free music ever. Heck, I'd have paid for it, but it's good that I didn't have to, since I'm broke anyways.

Expository paragraph on a band:
Greatest band discovery on my part: Anberlin. Seriously, have a listen. I'm in love with Paperthin Hymn because it's awesome. If you check out their myspace, you can watch the video.

Expository paragraph on a band:
And I believe these guys aren't new, but The Classic Crime, is fantastic too. Dave Pike told me to listen to them an age and a half ago, but this is the first time I've really listened. Fantastic sound.

Progression of post, in reference to title:
I returned my overdue game to MicroPlay, expecting to pay the late charge. The dude behind the counter let it slide though. They must have a policy of letting awesome dudes in blue hats off.

Tangent:
Yes, I'm wearing the blue hat again. The wind tries to take it away, but I like it. Plus it keeps my hair away from my eyes. And it's like an identification thing. And ladies who pass you on the street (I suspect) probably don't expect to be mugged by a thugish looking man in a blue hat.

Back on track, with next segment of title:
Tonight was my last Physics lab ever, if I have my say in it. It wasn't too bad. I'll miss playing with the carts on the table though, as my partner writes a bunch of numbers down. In High School, I was the one doing ALL the work (well, most) but now, I was the slacker. I did ask her if there was anything I could do, so when she said "Nope" all I could really do is fiddle, right?

Final Paragraph:
One week from tomorrow until classes end. Can't wait to have more free time. Hopefully Catherine, Greg, Meighan, Mark, etc. aren't working too much.

Second Tangent:
It's actually kind of weird hanging out with them, to be honest. Well, not really, but ... Catherine and Greg are going out, and Meighan and Mark are crazy childhood friends. Everybody's close, except for me, the outsider. Whenever I really connect with someone in the group, I worry that I'm putting their 'partner' as it were, out. Maybe if/when Rebecca and/or Steph manage to hang out with us, it'll be less "bleh."

Actual Final Paragraph:
I'd better end this before another tangent bites me in the face.

"Soccer"

Found this while surfing the webernet yesterday.

I just found it really cool for no reason at all.

Dancing in the Dark

So, there wasn't bible study last night. I was expecting a dull night ...

Nope.

Meighan showed up at my door, trying to find a ride. Since there was no study, we just sort of hung around for a while. I got groceries, and then we sat around some more. Chatted, you know?

Later, we phoned Mark, who told us he had "people" over. Shortly after, we were called by Catherine, explaining that she was the "people." We decided we were going to do something. They said they'd phone in a while. I assumed like, several minutes.

Several more minutes than anticipated later, we got a call. After arguing with her about taking so long to call (in a joking fashion, of course) we decided we'd go out to Chess's (sp?) for a snack.

Eventually we did get together and go, but went to another fish 'n chips place, then to A&W. Greg bought me a burger. Thanks Greg!

Trying to figure out what to do afterwards, several ideas were bounced around. We finally settled on a dance party at Cabot Tower. Yes, we did. That was hilarious, dancing in the headlights, getting presumably strange looks from people we couldn't see for their headlights.

We went to the park after like, 2o minutes of dancing and being fools, where we were fools for another short while. After that, it all had to end, since I had class at 8:00, and Catherine had to work too.

Funniest moment: realizing that two girls were in their cars for the longest time, just watching Catherine and I dancing like fools (the others were party-poopers and climbed into the car). We obviously rock oh-so-much.

Last 1710 Lab Ever

I'm sitting now, in the Computer Science lab. This is the final lab for the term, and hence, my last ever. [EDIT: I made a mistake, I've got one left after today]

Yay, right? I've got one CS assignment left too, once that's done, I only really need to worry about the exam. Well, worry insofar as remembering that I've got to show up. Despite hating this course so much, and being a bit slow to catch on to the concepts, I've been doing very well. I just got my lowest quiz mark back today: 83%. How can I be worried?

I've been thinking about taking a year off of University. When I tell people this, they automatically assume I'd go home, and work for the year. I really don't know if that's what I'd do. I've been looking at the ignite program in Toronto, as well as just going somewhere on a missions trip for a year.

It probably will never happen, though I was so ready to go yesterday. Maybe I'll just go to a new University next year, with a Theology program. I'm interested in doing Philosophy at MUN, but honestly, why? I'll tell you why: It's because I don't want to leave home. I'd find it interesting, but I'm pretty sure I know what I'd do with a Philosophy degree: get a new degree.

Aargh, and when I read over these posts, I can't help but imagine that whining, immature child that I am, stressing out over things that shouldn't worry me right now.

But honestly, when the world wars were going on, plenty of "kids" enlisted for an adventure. Well there's a bigger, more important war going on, and as a soldier of the Salvation Army, I feel like I should be in the trench, rather than back at camp playing cards and getting useless degrees.

And then people argue that with the degree I'll be able to farther the reach of the kingdom.

I dunno, I just need to pick a direction. Jonah did that at least. He started to run away from where God wanted him. I don't want to run away, I just want to run period. Perhaps God'll send a fish to swallow me, and spit me up at my Ninevah?

I'd prefer a boat, but at least I wouldn't be able to wonder "Hmm, if this fish is spitting me up in St. John's harbour, maybe God is trying to tell me something ..."

Poetry

So. I've procrastinated for three weeks until today, when I decided to do my critical analysis of a poem for English. The one I've picked (out of a possible three) is Richard Wilbur's "Year's End."

Do we have to understand every facet of something to appreciate it? Perhaps it's just a new level of appreciation. Somebody once argued to me that somebody who plays no musical instrument, can't really appreciate music. I argued that, while somebody who plays music might be able to appreciate it in a different way, anybody can appreciate it if they take the time. He didn't get it.

I don't want to appreciate this poem so intensely. I want to think "Ha, nice poem!" and leave it there. But I can't.

I also discovered today that two of my cousins met their husbands through eharmony.com, a dating site. I've always just sort of rolled my eyes at that sort of thing, but it actually seems legitimate to me now that I've seen it work twice (without even realizing it, either).

So if reach 25, still single, with no prospects, I'll have to check it out (ha).

Wicked Night Downtown

So Friday night started with YFM, the Citadel Youth Group. It ended up being a movie and games night, which was a blast. I played volleyball horribly for a nice while, and fell down a few times. We lost, but had a blast.

Then Rebeca, Catherine, and I went to Mr. Sub to meet Greg, and partake in some cookies. They were professed as the best on earth, but I didn't see it, to be honest. Good, but not the best.

Back to YFM. A bit more laughing, joking, and being awesome. Then it was over. Thinking SASF was doing downtown ministries, five of us (Myself, Mark, Greg, Catherine and Meghan) piled into Mark's car, drove downtown, and tried to find the van. After a bit of searching, we determined that we must be in the wrong, and set out on our own.

We chatted with some people, and met some interesting folks, playing music and begging on the street. I can't wait to go back again, and talk with some of these guys again.

One particular incident makes me wonder, though. We went down by the waterfront, and looked at the Naval vessel there. Turns out, it was a French research vessel. Two guys came over and started talking with us. Maybe this is where I'm a terrible witness. I didn't mention, nor did I have any intention of talking about God when I started talking to those dudes. I was just ready to chat, and learn something about another life. However, through our conversation, somebody managed to work in how much we all love God. That's good and everything, but it seemed a little forced, and I sensed (though this could simply be because he had a less-than-stellar grasp of English, more on that in a moment) that one of the guys was put off a little by it. He patronized a bit, and said that it was good to be "siris" - which I took to mean "serious" - about life.

I would have liked to talk to him for a bit myself, because it's not about being serious ... or whatever. That having been said, he probably wouldn't have talked to us without attractive ladies present.

Interesting note that came up throughout conversation. According to this guy, the English word "god" sounds very much like the French word for a certain female-oriented sex toy. This would explain his bewilderment when Catherine started talking about how much she loves God.

After all that, the bunch of us took some time to go up near Signal Hill, and sit around, talking and just being plain awesome. That was an experience, let me tell you, but I probably spent too much time thinking about how God wasn't in the wind for Elijah, and he wasn't there for me either. It's a big fingerprint of God, I mean, don't get me wrong. But the wind didn't seem to speak to me like some others expected it to speak to them.

I like Chris Rice, this song has spoken to me since the first time I heard, after my very first YC.

I would take no for an answer,
Just to know I heard you speak,
And I'm wondering why I've never,
Seen the signs they claim they see,
A lotta special revelations,
Meant for everybody but me,
Maybe I don't truly know You,
...
...
Now I've never felt the presence,
But I know You're always near,
And I've never heard the calling,
But somehow You've led me right here,
So I'm not lookin' for burnin' bushes,
Or some Divine graffiti to appear,
I'm just beggin You for Your wisdom,
And I believe You're puttin' some here...
...
...
Cause I can sniff, I can see, and I can
count up pretty high; but these faculties
aren't getting me any closer to the sky,
but my heart of faith keeps poundin' so
I know I'm doin' fine but sometimes findin
you is just like tryin to smell the color nine.
Smell the color nine...
And I believe You're puttin' some here...
or maybe I just simply believe...
...
...
Nine's not a color...
and if even if it was you can't smell a color, no
that's my point exactly.

It Was Supposed To Be Meaningful

So. This post was supposed to be meaningful in some way, but I already know it won't be.

I've got the go-ahead to buy Call of Duty 3, so Specker, watch out. Or rather, world, watch out. Speck, we've got to get some team deathmatch on the go.

My iPod earbuds broke today. The ones that came with it. Overuse? Yeah. I bought new Sony ones, expecting a brand like Sony to be something I like, where Centrios, or whatever, would not be. It's going to take getting used to. It doesn't have the full sound the original earbuds had, and I managed to waste ten minutes on equalizer settings to compensate. It didn't work.

I have a Math assignment due tomorrow. I'm half done. I'm going the rest now.

I may go to a movie tomorrow. Stranger Than Fiction, perhaps?

Also, SASF is going to the YFM service this week. Should be good, since there are people I like who go to YFM instead of SASF. Afterwards, SASFers are going to go downtown for some outreach until 2 a.m. I plan to go. Hopefully other awesome dudes do too.

I'm afraid I'm not going to get enough time to hang with the members of Air Mattress Experience before some of them move on to Alberta. Well, one of them at least. This fear must never be realized.

I had one final point, but I've forgotten it reflecting on how awesome I am. Or rather, how awesome my family is.

I will get Guitar Hero. I played it for the first time tonight. Got through Cowboys from Hell and loved every second of it. Genius. Game. These are the kinds of people who made me want to get into the games industry.

Finally, I've been reflecting on Siberia. Seems like a cool place. Temperature wise at least. Also, this huge concern of "meet girls" really let me go this week. It'll come, it'll come. I won't have to work too hard to find a woman to match my life, God's got one planned, I'm sure.

I'm excited to hang with Mark, Greg, Catherine, Meghan, and the gang too. They seem crazy enough.

Slackish Week

Last night I stressed myself out, trying to figure out if I had a Math test today, or if that was last week. Answer: no Math test today. I thought I was safe ...

I walked into my Computer Science class to a silent horde of people. More silent than usual, i mean. As I examined the classroom, people were reading their CS textbooks. I had an inkling as to what was happening, but I needed my fears confirmed.

I asked Jeremy: "Uuh, what's going on?"

"Test."

"Ooh. Test. In ... Computer Science."

He looked at me quizzically.

"Not Math." I stated simply.

"Do you have an extra pencil I could borrow?"

I dumped my stash of eight sharp pencils on the desk, where both of us could reach them, and the Professor started handing out paper.

It wasn't that bad, actually. I wrote the test fine, my only hiccup coming when I forgot how to do a particular kind of loop. I still managed to bang out some code, but it was about three times as long as it should have been. Hopefully marks will not be docked.

I also had a look at Assignment 6, which was handed back to me. I'm about ready to throw it back at the teacher. I got an 8/10 on one exercise, which, while good, should have easily been 10/10. Why would I be so presumptuous, you might ask? Simply because my program gave perfect output. It was a simple thing to take an input of a year, and determine if it's a leap year.

This is not as simple as it sounds. Apparently, every fourth year is a leap year, unless it is also divisible by 100. The exception to that, are years in increments of 400. So 2000 is a leap year, but 1900 wasn't, and 2100 won't be. Who knew?

I have one thing to be joyful for, though, with Computer Science. Test this week + no classes on Monday = No lab, and No assignment due this week. Nothing due in Physics, or English either. The last German vocab test for the term is on Friday, and I still have a Math assignment, but it doesn't look too rough.

So this short week, will be that much easier.

Now, I wonder if I can coerce Catherine, Greg and/or Mark into going to Starbucks with me ...

Actually, scratch that. I need groceries.

Flame Warriors

On the Relevant Forums, somebody necroposted a topic about this website. While necroposting normally sucks, I was glad for it this time, because I didn't catch the site the first time around.

It got me to thinking about the old Canadians for Christ forums, and what happened there. There was what one might call an Armageddon of a Flame War, spread out among half a dozen threads. In the end, the forum lay in smoldering ruins, and the founder of the forum shut it down.

It might be a bit presumptuous of me to say this, but I think I might have been the Godzilla that started the whole thing. I mean, the forum was on shakey foundations from the beginning, but I really ignited the whole Flame-war, I think, and fought through it to the end.

Now CFC is back. It's pretty dull right now. VERY slow. But I'm going to get back into it. Some of those guys were pretty cool, and maybe it'll come back to what it once was.

I don't know if I could classify my current Flame-Warrior status either right now. Maybe I'll mull it over a bit.

Good Stuff

Short post:

I've thought sometimes what or who I'd be if I wasn't brought up as a 'good' boy, or if I wasn't a Christian.

I think I'd probably drink a lot, but probably not to get drunk. Just to be social.

I'd smoke, but I'd smoke a pipe more often than cigarettes. It looks so soothing. Until you develop cancer, of course.

I think I wouldn't do drugs, but I dunno why I think that.

I'd probably be a big flirt. Well, I'd probably be a shameless flirt, rather. I dunno, after a bus-ride encounter, and talking from friends back home, I just wish I could date casually, have a good time. But that's I guess, an ego-centric thing. How awesome can I convince this person I am?

There are days when "Good guys finish last" smacks me in the head. But then I remember that "Good guys" and "Not-so Good Guys" have different goals. Or rather, they should have different goals.

Which makes me wonder if I'm really a Good Guy at all. Maybe I'm just a good actor?

Wonderings. I normally hate it when people ramble on about "I wish I could be bad!" or "I wish I didn't feel this way" or anything like that. But I can empathize more now.

I'm understanding a lot more people since I left my bubble/my bubble was popped.

And yet, with this extended understanding, I still don't know where I stand, where I'm going, or what I should do to be happy.

Not that I'm unhappy. Lonely, a little bit, perhaps. But I guess I want to be happier. You know? And I don't think that's unhealthy.

Wow, tangent much? I'll leave you with David Hutching's pickup line, now that I remember it.

"If you're a function, I want to be your derivative, so I can be tangent to your curves."

I laughed when I heard it.

Then I got mad at Jon for doing homework at Jungle Jim's.

Oh my. Maybe I should just do my degree here. After my second year, if nothing is developing in St. John's, I'll reconsider where I'm going with my education, and what exactly my motives are in going where I'm going, and doing what I'm doing.

I was supposed to end this back there somewhere.

Wii Will, Wii Will, Rock You

Holy crap. I was excited for the Wii before, but now, I might actually go nuts with anticipation.

I will get one of these eventually. How incredible does all that look?!

Wii Experience. Watch a video or two. That looks so fun!

Anybody Out There?

I think that me waiting for buses, with an iPod, and fresh air, should be outlawed. My brain turns too much, and still comes up with nothing useful.

I was thinking about how much I have to live up to. How much we ALL have to live up to. A friend of mine once told me that we have an awesome responsibility, to minister to those around us. True, but we also must do something even greater: We must live the worth of twenty lives.

The cost of one year of University here, for me, is the cost of sponsoring 20-24 children through the Salvation Army. I get a slightly above-average (for Canada) education, for the cost of twenty way above-average educations in Africa. Is that fair? That means that when I grow up, I must change more than twenty lives. Heck, why start then?

My whole life must be an investment.

I was also thinking about how sometimes I feel very alone in my convictions. Perhaps it's just because I'm nuts, but then the song "Anybody Out There?" by Burlap to Cashmere came on. I just don't know anymore. Is there anybody for me? Not even like, a future life-partner, but a community of hardcore change-the-world people.

Then again, how "change-the-world" am I? All I've been doing all week is talking about becoming a janitor in Jerusalem, or a street vendor in Moscow. Might widen my worldview, but not much more, I suspect.

Anyways, some of the "Anybody Out There?" lyrics:

Sometimes while I'm driving
Trying to find my song
Looking for the answers
And where I do belong
Finally the children are
Bringin' me back home

Ooooooooh Ooooooooh Ooooooooh
Is there anybody out there
Does anybody care
Are the people really there
Ooooooooh Ooooooooh Ooooooooh
Is there anybody seeking
Does anybody see
Or are they deaf and dumb like me

My Weekend

I cannot wait to go home tomorrow.

I have to get up at like, 5:30, but that's okay. I'm going home.

I have to be on the bus for endless hours, but that's okay. I'm going home.

I have to spend mucho dollars, but that's okay. I'm going home.

It's not that I don't like it out here. I just haven't found my groove yet. It's nice to go back somewhere where you just fit automatically.

I thought today, that it took many years to develop the friendships back home, and that was with people who were just as secure as me. Now I'm here where everyone is already happy, and I need to tear a hole in that wall in order to get in. Can it be done politely? Of course, but it's still not easy to 'break in.'

But that's okay. COD3 playing, Jungle Jim's, movie watching, and Louis-gee's pizza over the next few days.

"Pow!" Day

So, Tuesdays are supposed to be my slack day. Only two classes, with three hours between, and then the rest of the day for myself. But today has been a day of waiting, because at 3, I had a meeting with my "shrink" (he's actually a psychologist, not a psychiatrist, but I call him that because it makes me feel like I have big issues), at 5, I had a Physics test, and at 7, I had to catch a ride to Bible Study with Jillian.

My first "Pow!" came today with English, and realizing that I have an in-class assignment on Thursday. Nothing to worry about, but I just didn't expect it so soon.

My second "Pow!" came with my meeting with my Psychologist. He says I'm adapting. Or something. I've felt really good lately, and he's pretty much re-enforced the concept that it's doing stuff that's made me that way. Being with people, reading, watching movies, playing X Box. It's all good. I'm finding ways to escape, and ways to cope with life. And I'm also removing some factors that make me want to escape in the first place.

My third "Pow!" came with a conversation I had with my cousin about video games. I won't post her argument here, because I know I'll misrepresent her. Her arguments were mostly valid or excusable due to lack of experience, but it was interesting to hear the other side from somebody who isn't a crazy Florida Lawyer who shares my last name and who's first name rhymes with "Hack." My big thought came when I realized that we can still be on opposite sides of the argument and "know" we're right. Where am I wrong in my thinking? Well obviously, I think "nowhere," otherwise I wouldn't argue those points, but it's something to think about. Where do my prejudices, and inexperience color my perception. Even worse, where do my intense desires for things, wash out all rational arguments against the things I'm thinking about. Did that even make sense? Of course not.

My final "Pow!" was a big let-down, though it shouldn't have been. You know when you know the truth, but since nobody has corroborated your theory, you still hold on to the hope that you're wrong, and everything is how you want it to be? You know when somebody finally corroborates that truth, and you're like "Aaw, crap." Yeah, that's what happened.

She's a cool girl too. I don't even know her that well, and here I was pretending I had a chance to sweep her off her feet. It's probably for the best, since if I can't move in, I can't mess things up, yeah?

Ugh, wasn't I supposed to grow up somewhere between High-School and University? I'm chasing girls more hardcore here than I was a year ago! What's wrong with me? It's probably just that I'm still under the illusion that everyone around me is stupendous. I haven't learned everyone's vice. Plus there's a bit of loneliness. And the delusion that a girlfriend would make the world better all of the sudden.

I've also been using Google as a spell check, ever since FireFox 2.0 came out. Why you ask? Because it has spell-check built into it. I have to eliminate those red lines. They're like my kryptonite.

From "I think my TiVo is gay"

From "I think my TiVo is gay"

" ... I think as a country we are ready for more gay consumer electronics. I mean, a DVD player is obviously designed to be connected to a Television set, but if two DVD players want to be connected to each other, is that really threatening your marriage? .. "

Why did I find that so funny?

MSN Time Capsule

I just went through a dozen or so long conversations that I have archived on MSN. It's incredible the way things have changed. University was going to solve all my problems, relationships could only get stronger. My life was going to be a picture-perfect film. If you had challenged me on it back then, I'd have acknowledged that it wouldn't be movie-like, but I still didn't expect life to be like this.

I went to a movie with Steph A last night. We saw Man of the Year. Excellent movie, and a great time. We waisted three hours wandering the mall, going to HMV, sitting in The Second Cup, and chatting.

I cannot believe how much I love to talk. To hear. To tell. It's so great. You get to understand people a bit more, even if it's just in a superficial way. I wonder the value, but then realize that the value isn't as important as the fact that I had a great time, talking about virtually nothing.

A friend of mine was talking to me on MSN the other day. About University and his life. He was joking about how little he got out as a University student. I said he should get out more, socialize a bit. He told me that when he was done his education, he'd have the time and means to party.

But will he know how? All of his friends will be party veterans, and he'll be the rookie. It won't even be the same thing.

Why aren't we more careless people? People quote the phrase "Live each moment like it'll be your last," but never do it. I'm not saying we should forget the future, but we need to have a good time now. Einstein said something about how the American man is to focused on the future, too concerned with where he will be, than where he is.

He also said "A happy man is too satisfied with the present to dwell too much on the future." How much of the present must we barter off for a great tomorrow that might never come? And if it does come, and it's not as great as it could be ... then how much does that matter anyways?

I'm winding down now, I swear: The problem with people today is ... well, first and foremost, the belief that we don't need God. Second, though, is this consumerist society. What are most of our goals? Nice house, nice car, good job. Yeah, children factor in, and a wife, perhaps, but we can deconstruct that down to biology, if we really wanted to. I don't know what I'm saying, to be honest. This is just a tangent I sort of got launched off on.

This is also my 300th post across all the blogs I've had in the past years.

They make less sense today than they did when I started blogging.

Denomonational Bras

While blog-hopping today, I came across this joke, which I thought was pretty funny, so I'll post it here.

If you're interested, it was linked from lublink.ca, to here.

=====

A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy’s and shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter and said, “I’d like to buy a bra for my wife.”

“What type of bra?” asked the clerk.

” Type?” inquires the man, “There’s more than one type?

“Look around,” said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size, color and material imaginable.

“Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only four types of bras from which to choose.”

Relieved, the man asked about the types. The saleslady replied:

There are the Catholic, the Salvation Army, the Presbyterian, and the Baptist types. Which one would you prefer?

Now totally befuddled, the man asked about the differences between them. The Saleslady responded, “It is all really quite simple.. .

The Catholic type supports the masses.

The Salvation Army type lifts the fallen,

The Presbyterian type keeps them staunch and upright, and

The Baptist makes mountains out of mole hills.

=====

Movie Me

Today I was recalling some things I've said, and thing I've thought over the past few days, and I've boiled them all down to a concept that is probably utterly absurd. I've named it the same thing as the title of this post.

Movie Me.

I think everybody does this thing to an extent, but I think I might have built a small shrine of a life around it. When I think of myself, and who I want to be, I imagine this big movie of my life. In movies, the characters have things that they do, and are in situations that are awesome. Example: I loved how the family used to sit on the roof in 3rd Rock From The Sun. I always wanted my own 'quiet place' or something like that. Some place that's not in my house, but is totally unique to me. I haven't found one, though I've discovered that the steps of DHQ make a good thinking spot. It doesn't feel right though. So I keep searching.

Some things that I've started doing: walking/busing places. It's just a feeling of independence that I like. Walking to church, for example. I could get a ride with Meagan, but it just feels good to walk. It feels "Movie Me." It's part of the person that I want to become.

I've started reading more. I once heard it said thatif you haven't read anything for three days, you have nothing interesting to say.

The other day, I sat on a windowsill with a friend at University. I thought that was so cool. Just sitting there, and looking out a window. People sit there all the time, but it felt like mine that day. You understand that feeling?

Similar to when I walked across campus today. Leaves on the ground. Golden sunlight poured over the buildings. The perfect song on my iPod (I don't remember what it was). Straight from a movie. It felt like I was part of something. I did work in the commons. Just on a computer, with a hundred people around. Doing something useful. Leaving the building after the sun had gone down. A feeling of accomplishment (even though I couldn't even get my assignment to work.)

Unfortunately, that's where my power ends. The rest of Movie Me is built with relationships with great people. They're a two-sided thing, so I can't just say how awesome I am for friendship "X."

Truth is: that feels like the biggest unrealized part of Movie Me. And the world doesn't make it easy. There are three Christian groups at the University, and I've only really gone to one. There are good people there, but for every Stephanie (and there are a few!) I meet, I fear I miss out on two other potential friends. I'm excited for the group service this Friday, but all the same, I wish I didn't have to miss the YFM progressive dinner. Because there are excellent people there too.

I'm going to do something this week, or the beginning of the next. I'm going to plan something to do for the week. With someone, or some people. I don't care, but I think the biggest failure of Movie Me is waiting for organized events to build friendships. It's easy enough for other people, who already have friends, and are content with that. But I'm not comfortable here. I'm wanting to get out and meet. Build.

And I haven't been doing it.

But now I will.

Project for this week: go to Starbucks with someone, or have somebody over. Do. Something.

Schmexcelence

So today was the worst day of my week in school. It wasn't that bad.

Randomly Meagan decided to head out to the Buck or Two. I tagged along, and managed to get in to Chapters. I picked up the book I ordered like, a month ago. Battle Royale by Koushun Takami. I realized as I looked at the cover that it's the second book in a row I've bought by a Japanese author. And they're completely different too.

I've also noticed something. I hate the thought of people talking negatively about other people. Problems with people. Instead of addressing the person with whom we have the issue, we discuss their downfalls among ourselves. It happens a lot, whether you notice it or not. Well for the first time in a few months, I've realized how good it feels to say "That's just how he is," or "She's always like that."

How unfortunate, the ease of which that slides off the tongue.

I've started to watch Star Wars again. Plus I have five books staring at me, yelling to read. Plus I've just gotten back into my X Box. I need to spend less time with my computer. Too unproductive.

Another thing I've been thinking about is people, and the relationships I have. Somebody observed that "person X" was a bit touchy-feely as a person. I argued to the contrary, to quickly realize how wrong I was. She's just like that around me. Some people and I don't mesh, and that really sucks, because of all the people I "don't mesh" with, I can't think of one that I don't think is an awesome person. I may disagree, and tiff jokingly with them, but there's just not a relationship there that I wish there could be.

I dunno. I guess everything has been magnified lately. With feelings I mean.

I also had an excellent opportunity to geek out at SASF Saturday. A previously unknown girl came to SASF dressed as a Twi'lek Jedi. From Star Wars. She's a fan. I'm a fan. We discussed. It reminded me of the hour-and-a-bit conversation I had with Mr. Sanders once on Star Wars, particulary Yuuzhan Vong invasion, their tactics, casualties, and the resistance efforts of the Galactic Federation of Free Alliances.

Wow.

Finally, if you read none of the above, that's okay. Watch this. It's the trailer for Joyeux Noel.

Next Term?

So, people keep telling me I should go to Grenfel next term. The only course I'm doing here that I couldn't do there is German, and really ....

But I really don't want to leave. As hard as it is here some days, I've learned not to expect things from people. I've gotten out more. I've beaten my own social path, and now, I feel like the complications of the last month are going to drag me back.

I don't really mind Corner Brook. Since moving here I've appreciated how much more I could have done there. I just walk downtown some nights, why couldn't I do that home? My excuse for not doing anything home was "I have no friends who will do anything right now." I'm in the same position today (well, most of the time) but I still force myself out of the house. How many more friends could I have made that way home?

So I'm not really sure what I'm doing.

In other news, I've rented Lego Star Wars II, in part because Specker just passed me this week in gamerscore. I'll have to fix that. Rentals are your friend, and the Microplay here is only a 15 minute walk away!

So yeah, thanks Specker, for motivating me to dust off the controller and dive into VideoGames again ...

... jerkface!

Finally: I want to go here:

Rwookrrorro

Chewie, will you take me there?

Thanks buddy.

Joyeux Noël

So, two weeks ago, I blogged on a movie called "Live and Become," that the MUN Cinema Series put on. I also expressed excitement at another movie that they were putting off, called "Joyeux Noël."

I don't know which movie was better. The trailer makes it look different than it really is, but watch it. Better yet, go pre-order it right now.

Absolutely incredible movie.

I can't even get into it. I cried a few times.

Okay, I'll get into it a little tiny bit.

If you don't know your history, the Christmas Truce happened in a few places along the trenches on Christmas Eve of 1914, during the first world war. Leaders of groups on both sides of the war, declared a cease-fire for Christmas. (Important: the armies didn't declare a cease-fire, it was basically just lower ranked people in the trenches, who decided to screw orders for a night, and stop shooting) Christmas came and went, and several days later, nobody was shooting. The higher-ups on both sides of the war had to shake up the lines, and start threatening and forcing people to fight again, because these people couldn't shoot at the people they drank and sang carols with.

The movie:

I know for a fact, due to a High-school education, that the trenches were much, much worse than depicted in the film. Also, some of the character's actions were a bit unrealistic. Also, I think the trenches were filled with somewhat less happiness. It almost seemed like a comedy in a lot of places.

But that was actually really effective in emphasizing the whole climax of the movie.

I can't even get into it. One of my favorite scenes from the movie is in the trailer. It's a day or two after Christmas, and the German leader approaches the French trench, and informs them that German Artillery is going to start firing in ten minutes, and tells them to take shelter in his trench. The shelling stops, and the Irish and French point out that their artillery will probably retaliate soon. They walk across the battlefield and wait it out in the other trench then. It was hilarious in some ways, but incredibly moving too.

I can't even get into it (that's the third time I've said that!). It's just such a superb movie. Honestly, get it. Wal*Mart won't carry it, and you won't find it at HMV. It's going to have to be ordered, because it's a small foreign film. But it's one of the most amazing movies I've ever seen.

Also, small note: the people actually speak their real languages. French soldiers speak French, Germans speak German, and the Irish have this incredible accent. Anything you can't understand is subtitled, which people generally hate, when I mention it. Seriously though: subtitles or not, find a way to watch this movie.

Haikus

Today, Andrew wrote a poem on the back of his lunch receipt. I decided that the next receipt I got, would be graced similarly. So here they are (written at the UC):

Poor
Bank account runs dry
Limited cash in my hands
I have no money

Root-Beer
Sweet tasty Root-Beer
A bev'rage to keep me sane
God's gift to the stressed

Ooh, how liberating. I also had a look at what courses I could possibly do out here next term. I need to see about doing a sixth course. If I don't have any labs, I might as well take on one hey?

Arts degrees rock.

Day of Apology

At bible study, there was some talk of a campaign that a particular christian group did, at some University campus. During that "drunk weekend" they set up confession booths at their university, and instead of arguing, judging, or justifying, simply apologized to everyone who came in. For everything. Ever.

The Crusades, turning scripture into business, turning people away from the church, making people feel like they needed to be better for God to love them.

I want to do that here. I imagine a person standing on the University campus with a big sign that says "Sorry," and all around them on the ground, written in chaulk, all the things the Church has to be sorry for.

I've also discovered that the SASF/Chi Alpha room is just down the hall from the Homosexual, Bisexual, Transgender room. How can we as a group apologize to these people on behalf of the church? Because like it or not, Christians have hated them, and that needs to be made up for.

Creepy

Well, this past week, I've had a beautiful image gracing my desktop:


I thought it was hilarious, and have been staring at it in regular intervals. That dude is creepy.

I've finished most of my Computer Science assignment for tomorrow, and then I've got a CAPA to do after I get home tomorrow. Things are slowing down again.

And I'm a person that feels like they should smile at everybody. I've got this joy in my heart, you know? It's been getting difficult to feel. Smiles are very forced nowadays. I realized today that I have nowhere to belong. My Corner Brook home is in shambles, and you're not supposed to 'belong' in a University house like this.

Why is it that a simple request can be turned into an attack?

Hopefully Bible Study will pull me out of this emotional ditch, even though I know I'll be pushed back down into it again shortly.


Oh my. Great picture.

Go Nuts or Get Yelled At

So.

Tonight, I was feeling an onset of the depression that's ruined four weeks of my St. John's life. What did I do? Preliminary strike: I headed out to the mall, and went to a movie.

The movie started a bit before ten. Whoops, that's a bit late, but I'm independant now. Besides, going home defeated would do nothing to help my mental state of mind.

Well this whole thing backfired, for when I returned home, I had two notes on my pillow. "Call Mom" and "Call Dad."

I did so. And now I'm looking at an interesting day tomorrow of "discussing" my education in St. John's.

Was it not just last week that my parents commented on me being "adult"? I didn't/don't agree with that assesment, but if it's good enough for them, it's good enough for me. And yet now, I'm being treated like a child.

I understand that they were worried. Perhaps I should have phoned them, but three quarters and a long distance call don't exactly lend themselves to my information-mission.

Gah, it was such an excelent night. Tomorrow was looking terrific.

Now I'm back PAST square one.

So I was walking home from my Physics lab tonight, and I got to thinking about the book I've begun to read. It's all about the perfect society for the human race. Essentially it boils down to Capatalist Democracy. The point is that the ideal of a Capitalist Democracy is perfect. Obviously the execution is flawed.

After mulling over it a little bit, I've decided that a Christian Theocracy, with a free market would be the "perfect society." My original struggle was that we don't seem to be made for that. Why would that be a perfect society, if humans don't fit it.

But then I remembered that perfect man would be a humble man. When Karl Marx marched towards communism (not something he realized, but oh well) he did so boldly. When the French Revolution established Democracy as we know it, they did so boldly.

So that was a fun little "eureka" to have in my head. I need to keep a notepad with me when I walk, because there were finer points I wanted to blog about, but between then and walking up my stairs, they were all lost.

MUN Cinema Series

So. I've found a new thursday night activity.

Yesterday I ran into dave, and I suggested we go get a coffee after supper or something. He suggested going to a movie: Trailer Park Boys. I agreed, for I wanted something to do.

Several moments later, he returned to my desk in the Commons, and put forward a new idea. The MUN Cinema Society plays crazy movies on Thursday night. We decided we'd meet at the mall at 6:30, and catch the 7:00 movie for this week Live and Become.

I was late for the rendevous, and I don't know what happened to Dave, because I never saw him again (well, yesterday at least) but I went to the movie anyways.

From the MUN Cinema Series website:

" The title sounds as if it could have come from the marketing gang at MUN, but this made-in-France masterpiece is as far from commercial branding exercises as they come. This is a moving coming of age story about Schlomo, an orphaned Ethiopian boy who passes for a Falasha Jew during the exodus of 1985. Arriving in Israel, Schlomo is adopted by some well meaning hipsters, but his development hinges on so many uncertainties that his identity remains confused and unarticulated. The film follows him through his quest to know his past and the truth of who he is and is destined to be. Growing up Black and passing for Jewish in Israel is bound to be challenging. Schlomo's story is both entirely credible and shrewdly allegorical, set as it is against the backdrop of a fiercely politicized culture, where issues of race and belonging are crucial to daily life. To be sure, the film is intellectually challenging and laced with deep irony. Award-winning in at least two countries and profoundly probing, LIVE AND BECOME requires your undivided attention."

May I just say that it is quite possibly one of the best movies I've ever seen? Like, I won't say it was THE best, for fear of contradicting myself, but it is most definitely in the top ten. A look at the future schedule for the Cinema society makes me smile even more.

Merry Christmas (Joyeux Noel) is playing on October 26th. I really want to go to that one, and somebody should go with me this time. From the MUN Cinema Society website:

It's a miracle no one had made a movie based on this factual slice of history before, but JOYEUX NOEL has long been a film waiting to happen. Based on the Christmas truce of 1914, the film marks one of the strangest recesses in the history of all wars. When French, Scottish, and, yes, German soldiers, felt compelled to stop fighting and play nice they actually did -- that is they laid down their arms, buried their dead, and had a rousing game of football, right there in the muddy space between the trenches. Nominated for a foreign film Oscar this year, JOYEUX NOEL shows us both the bloody prelude to that extraordinary pause and the punishing consequences. For stopping to fight, many were blamed and persecuted. In the catch-22 of war, sharing music and joy with your enemy is an act of treason. In this, the 90th anniversary of the battle of Beaumont Hamel, JOYEUX NOEL is a sobering, excellently crafted tribute to humanity and its threats. This release might find you shopping for the holidays with a new attitude.

Who's excited?