Good Stuff

Short post:

I've thought sometimes what or who I'd be if I wasn't brought up as a 'good' boy, or if I wasn't a Christian.

I think I'd probably drink a lot, but probably not to get drunk. Just to be social.

I'd smoke, but I'd smoke a pipe more often than cigarettes. It looks so soothing. Until you develop cancer, of course.

I think I wouldn't do drugs, but I dunno why I think that.

I'd probably be a big flirt. Well, I'd probably be a shameless flirt, rather. I dunno, after a bus-ride encounter, and talking from friends back home, I just wish I could date casually, have a good time. But that's I guess, an ego-centric thing. How awesome can I convince this person I am?

There are days when "Good guys finish last" smacks me in the head. But then I remember that "Good guys" and "Not-so Good Guys" have different goals. Or rather, they should have different goals.

Which makes me wonder if I'm really a Good Guy at all. Maybe I'm just a good actor?

Wonderings. I normally hate it when people ramble on about "I wish I could be bad!" or "I wish I didn't feel this way" or anything like that. But I can empathize more now.

I'm understanding a lot more people since I left my bubble/my bubble was popped.

And yet, with this extended understanding, I still don't know where I stand, where I'm going, or what I should do to be happy.

Not that I'm unhappy. Lonely, a little bit, perhaps. But I guess I want to be happier. You know? And I don't think that's unhealthy.

Wow, tangent much? I'll leave you with David Hutching's pickup line, now that I remember it.

"If you're a function, I want to be your derivative, so I can be tangent to your curves."

I laughed when I heard it.

Then I got mad at Jon for doing homework at Jungle Jim's.

Oh my. Maybe I should just do my degree here. After my second year, if nothing is developing in St. John's, I'll reconsider where I'm going with my education, and what exactly my motives are in going where I'm going, and doing what I'm doing.

I was supposed to end this back there somewhere.