Dropping Everything

So. Here I am.

Everybody seems so bummed out about University. Am I the only one who enjoys learning?

The only thing I'm not so much enjoying is what I'm learning. I mean, seriously. German, when am I going to use THAT? Well, at least it's more useful then Computer Science.

Well, that's not true. I'm actually getting excited about writing up some javascript, because I think I've got a good grasp on the concept. It's just ... how am I going to better humanity with Javascript?

I used to be the one who always went nuts when people talked about going on missions trips and stuff. You work up for 50 weeks of the year, and serve humanity for 2. Remember fractions? That is not a big thing. Why does it feel big? Because to most people, it's a trip. A retreat. Not a way of life. It's a break from the norm.

So my big thing was "Make sure you minsiter in everything you do." My way of doing this, I always thought, could Be St. Francis of Asissi's concept. But, it's difficult to do all the time.

Where am I going with this? Honestly, i don't know.

I'm not doubting that I should have done Computer Science. I'm just wondering why I did. I honestly belive I'm following God's will. But did he want me to do CS to learn CS, or to minister to the people I'll come in contact with? Hopefully I'll do both.

I've also noticed how strange I am in my spirituality.

When it's time for church, I'm one to drop everything, and go for it, unless I will literally die if I stop. When it's time for friends, it's the same way. And yet I don't expect, or nessecarily want other people to do the same thing.

When I want to talk to Robyn, or Meagan, I sniff out the situation first. Are they busy? Then I'll wait. Maybe that's why I haven't talked to them about anything of worth. I don't give anyone the chance to tell me to shut up.

Well, at least, not about anything serious.

If any of my homeboys from CB are reading this, the monday after the Thanksgiving weekend, we're going to have to do something. Break out a big 'ole round of Halo 2? LAN party at Josh's?

I realized this week that of 4 days off University, 2 days will be packed with YC, and one will be filled with Driving.

One day, to hang with people from home. Plus I've got to fit family in there too.

How am I going to swing that?!

Anyways, back to the point of the post (Alliteration, fools!) Last night, during the sermon, Major started spouting off quotes about outreach. One of them was to the effect of "When the call comes to minister [or save souls, or something] we must be willing to drop absolutely everything to do God's will."

So here I am, about to drop my Friday nights, by going downtown, and hanging with people of the world. Here I am, ready to drop University the second the call comes.

But I wonder. Am I ready to drop University because I desire to do God's will, or because I'm lazy? Am I honestly beliving that doing God's will will be easier?! Am I chasing a romanticized version of missionary work?

In a year, when everybody else is switching Universities, I see myself in Vietnam.

Should this scare me? Should I wonder why, or should I just take it as it is?

At least I'd have to go Cold-Turkey on my internet addiction.