Sleepyness and Musings

So I've decided not to drink Bawls anymore between supper and bed. Last night I had one at 8, and didn't finally drift off to sleep untill 3! Probably a contributing factor to the fact that I slept in untill 1245, exactly the time I was supposed to be swiping my punch card at work. Whoops.

I was a bit late for work, but not too bad. During my shift I got a call from Colin, asking to change his shift for tomorrow. He'd take my 0845-1700, and I'd take his 1300-2100. I said sure, so those are my new hours.

I've been thinking alot about friends, and community. I had one, but I didn't feel right with them. I went on an exodus, travelling to a new group. Attractions within this new group, and time restrictions didn't allow me to "break in" as I had imagined, so I've never really felt I belonged. I've got a small group I'm moving in with for University, but I feel very outsider-ish with these people too. There are a set of siblings, and best friends. Everybody is connected in some way except for me. Sure I'm friends with them and all, but I'm not close. Maybe I shouldn't be close, or maybe this is an opportunity to become close, but that's not a sure thing. And it's not a very comfortable feeling looking at the people I'm living with next year, and hoping it'll be great.

I think I'm an easy-going dude, so I'm certain everything'll be okay, but that doesn't automatically mean everything will be dandy, I guess. There's just this uncertainty.

But at the same time, I'm moving to St. Johns. My first thought was "I have friends in St. Johns. MY GENUINE friends." but my second thought was "What makes us friends?" C.S. Lewis says that friends are people who stand side by side, looking at a common interest. What common interests do I have with these people?

Her? Music possibly, but that's not as much my thing anymore (as if it really was to begin with).

Him? Not much, to be honest. We both were members of CFC, but there were plenty of disagreements there. I'm still convinced I'm part of the reason he gave up on it and just shut it all down.

Her? Mutual friend of somebody else. Virtually nothing in common.

Him? We have so much in common, and we had such good times whenever we were together. Excelent conversations. I prayed for a friend one YC, and a guy my age came over and placed his hand on my shoulder, and prayed with me. He felt a call one YC, and saw a guy his age, went over, placed his hand my shoulder, and prayed with me. A year later, we "met" for the first time, at Camp Sterrigan, with a familliar feeling. We peiced the YC story together during the week. That sounds like a God-forged friendship if there ever was one, but I still worry. We haven't talked much since CFC shut down.

I'll just have to wait untill University hits in full force. I'll either get so busy I forget all these "poor me"s, or I'll make friends. Simple as that.

There is a plan. All I have to do is wait for it, and be willing to have it executed.