31 March 2007

SASF Closing

Last night we had a fantastic time at Boston Pizza, for the final event for the Memorial University of Newfoundland's Salvation Army Student Fellowship.

We pretty much invaded a corner of Boston Pizza, and the night was filled with much talking, some eating, and a fair share of laughter. I can't really get into highlights, so for anybody who cares, I'll outline next year's executive (which I'm on! wewt!):

President: Jillian Sexton
Vice Pres: Stephanie Albert
Prayer and Outreach Coordinator: Josh Thompson
Secretary: Meagan White
Treasurer: Danika Kung

Good times? I think so. First order of business is to change the name of my position to "Minister (or Director) of Spiritual Warfare and Galactic Conquest."

Afterwards a group of us went to the Sexton residence, and I watched Stranger than Fiction for a second time. It's a great movie. Check it out!

29 March 2007

Position Needed: Wax Paper (Apply Within)

I opened my sketch book open to scan a picture I did a few days ago, to find it in one big gray smear. That made me a little angry, to be honest. I spent so much time on it, and I thought it was fantastic. Finally, when I was about to show it to somebody, things seem to have gone wrong.

Maybe next time, I guess.

In the meantime, I have to be working on my paper about René Descartes' Meditations on First Philosophy. Why don't these darn things write themselves?

I also realized this week that as soon as I finish my last Religious Studies paper on Saint Augustine, I will have written four papers on good 'ole Augustine. I'm not complaining, really, but I just found it interesting.

Maybe at the end of the term, I'll edit all the errors out of my papers, and post them on my blog. Would anyone care to see that? I'll have ten of them by the time the term comes to a close.

28 March 2007

Ich habe keine Lust.

Yay for new German phrases. Already today I've shouted "Das ist wahnsinn!" (that's insanity), "Mach keine Witze!" (make no jokes), and "Quatsch!" (That's crap). I've also told people "Ich habe keine Lust." which basically means "I have no energy" or "I have no drive."

I've also changed my MSN name to "Der Josh," since a) it's German, and b) it moves me up on people's MSN lists, and will mess them up.

Today was a crash-day for me. Everything mood-related has been elevated for me since last Friday, for various reasons. Today, for no reason at all, it all came crashing down.

I realized again how terrible my writing is. I understood anew the idiocy that I put forward on a daily basis. I phoned home, and got berated like a child for the first time in a while.

Well, that's not true. I just felt like I had. Mom and Dad are looking out for me, I'm sure. But right now I just want to be an idiot.

Anyways, that's not exciting to talk about.

Actually, there's not really much exciting to talk about. I think I'll just end this, and go to bed. Only one class tomorrow morning, which means the last day before my Philosophy paper due, is the most opportune time to do it. I'd go to JoBoss to do my writing, but that means $4 on a Caramel Machiato. Perhaps I'll take an extra juice tomorrow, and imagine it has magical paper-writing powers.

Everybody's Free (To Write)

The past week has been spectacular.

On Friday, we had the very first SASF alumni night ever. It was pretty good. There have been more amazing things, but that's okay. Is it bad that I actually had a blast trying to distract my weeping two-year-old cousin from the absence of her mother? I wasn't very good at it, but hey! I need to make sure I'm around more often. Not just for Gabby, but because I've begun to miss my family here. I haven't seen enough of them, really. Kayla and Jillian, a lot of, I guess, since they're at the UC every other day, but everyone else ... not so much.

On days when it feels like suppertime, but is actually only two in the afternoon, I sometimes get the idea "Maybe I can go visit nan." It's really been hitting me how much I didn't/don't know. I had always imagined sitting down over 'tea' and discussing the olden days. I need to make sure not to put that off with my only remaining grandparent. I need to remember to call more often, too.

But yeah, skating was after the alumni night. Wasn't so bad. I need to remember skates for next year, but I did take a run around the rink. Fell twice, but I had a blast, actually.

Saturday was pretty dull. I woke up around noon, surfed the web, read for a few hours, then went to Tim Horton's with Meighan. I also wrote an impulsive email to a friend, concerning awkwardness that seemed to abound. Things appear to have cleared up. Stupid Josh, and his stupid ambiguity. I knew it all stemmed from my stellar lack of clarity!

Sunday was pretty cool too. It was Corps Cadet Sunday, a group that I have recently been associated with. I sat with my Aunt Glenda and Dayna, though, since I wasn't needed for the service. Afterwards we went to the Marshes for lunch. I had intended to get home early to go to Dayna's, and celebrate Aunt Glenda's four hundred and seventy fourth birthday, but couldn't get a ride. I walked to the SASF service at the temple (40 minute walk).

After the service, was SNAC with the Temple kids. That was wicked too. I spent a good amount of time talking to David, the first person to really listen to the full scope of my science-fictional imaginings. He encouraged me, and I've spent four hours in the last two days writing again. I think I might actually get somewhere this time.

Monday was cool. Things with the afforementioned friend went stellar, I got back a German quiz that I did decent on, I wrote some stuff, and then I had supper at the University. Shortly after five, however, I remembered that I was on to teach Corps Cadets. In a panic, I brainstormed with some people at the University Center, and decided that I would give the class three options for the night: Do a class out of the booklet, watch Veggie-Tales, or chat about whatever. They took Veggie-Tales. I had meant to discuss the video afterwards, but we ended up going overtime. Whoops!

Today was good, but I can't really get into it. Which is okay, because it was a dull good. I'm finally reading that Newfoundland Romance Novel: The Man from LaManche, and let me tell you, it's terrible. I'm enjoying it though. Is that a bad thing?

Don't judge me.

I think the rest of this week will be good. I'm out of clean clothes at the moment, but that'll be rectified in a day. I'm excited for the SASF closing, and a teleconference with the Haiti Mission Team, but since the times are conflicting as of right now, I'm not quite sure how those will actually go ...

Finally, I think I came to my most favorite realization ever this week: God is good.

For the longest time, I've passed that over as a very simple kiddie-phrase. God is Good: God has attributes that we call 'good.' Gotcha. So what? My shirt is red: my shirt has attributes that we call 'red.'

But it's not like that at all, see. I mean, it can be, but God is good.

God is the good, as Plato might have said.

It's difficult to communicate, so if you don't already understand, I'm really sorry I can't explain it to you. It's been the most fun little nugget to turn over in my mind lately, though.

Beddy byes!

23 March 2007

On Hibernation, Martian Invasions, and the Inability to Bleed

You have no idea how much I love the title of this post. Or rather, that style of title. The sort of On Nationalism, Expansion, and the Great War or On Peoples, Cultures, and the Global Community. The random nature of the subject matter only makes it the more lovely.

I begin with the tale of my sleep last night. Normally sleep patterns are fairly simple, and not worth mentioning. However this Wednesday, it was different.

I arrived home at about five thirty. Supper time. I decided that I would forgo eating for the time being, however, and instead pursue a quick nap, since I was feeling quite tired. I set my alarm for about seven, and rolled over for some sleep.

Some time later, I awoke in a stupor. All I could hear was the sound of Full House coming through the wall to my right. "Meagan must be watching her DVDs" I thought, angrily. "Why is she watching those [expletive deleted] [expletive deleted] DVDs at this [expletive deleted] late hour of the [expletive deleted] night?!"

It was only 11:30. I couldn't even remember going to sleep, so I just laid there for ten minutes, seething in anger and confusion. I figured it out, eventually, and got up immediately.

I trudged downstairs to finally get some supper (A salad consisting of lettuce, Chicken, cheese and Russian dressing). I got back to bed, fearing a night devoid of sleep, at 12:30. I then did not wake until 10:00 the next morning.

That's some Olympic level sleeping, let me tell you.

Next story. Segues are overrated.

I finished H.G. Wells' War of the Worlds today. I have to say, the book was a bit difficult to get into, but well worth the read. I'm not quite sure I understand the point of it all. It's funny how all through the book, the point was made that these Martians were an Evolutionary step beyond us. They could regard us like we regarded rabbits, or something. But the most basic of creatures brought the Martian invasion to a halt. If you want to know what that exactly is, just watch the movie. That point, at least, stayed in tact.

The rest of the book, however, was butchered. I know, the book is from the 19th century, and it was modernized, or whatever, but there were things that they just shouldn't have changed. The tripods were underground? That's just not right!

Final story. Segues are still overrated.

I went to the Blood Donor clinic today. I didn't say anything to anybody about it, because I wanted the option of chickening out. But I didn't. Sort of.

I walked through the doors. I sat in the chair. I answered the questions. I waited. I sat in the comfy chair. I got prepared for the needle.

While the preparation was happening, I must have come off as really nervous. Then a girl across the way from me fainted. And not like normal fainted, but like mutant fainted. She was writhing in her chair, as she came to. That threw me off a little. The nurse asked me if I wanted to wait until another day to give blood.

I said to keep going, but I must have been more nervous than I knew. The needle did go into my arm, and it did find a vein. Already better than last time. However, I think I convulsed. I tensed up. My face contorted, and before I could compose myself, the nurse took the needle out, and said something like "maybe next time." I defeatedly sat in my chair, and pushed the cotton against my punctured arm. As I sat there I became ashamed of my cotton wad, like a soldier who has just received the Medal of Honor, but in reality had spent the battle curled up in a ball at the bottom of his sleeping bag.

The nurse assured me that I had tried, and that by even coming to the clinic, I had done good. Also, she pointed out that it'll make the whole experience easier for next time.

Next time. I vow right now that I'll go back. By God, I will fill a bag with my own blood at least once in my life! I swear it here and now. I defy thee, Zeus! (Or whoever the God of blood-donation is.)

Anyways. That's been my exciting day. Revel in it's intensity. Stuff still isn't perfect at school, but I'm sure I'll re-adjust with time. I'm just becoming more aware, I guess, and trying to do with that what is possible.

Good times.

Good times ...

20 March 2007

What is Love?

So. I had Andrew download that song "What is Love" for me tonight. I'm excited. Love myself some of that music, let me tell you.

Today's been a very "up" day. There was a bit of time spent socializing. Somebody told me the exact lie I wanted to hear, and they didn't even realize it. I spent some time playing Golf, (the card game), and ended up with a score of zero one round. I talked to people from home about fish, about the good ole grade five type of love, and just awesomeness in general.

Tomorrow can only be worse. But hey, I'll ride this wave like something fierce.

18 March 2007

Sunrise and Music

Click and read, folks:


I've been going through some webcomic archives, and I came across this one, probably one of my favorite xkcd comics.

This has sort of set me on thinking about sunrise. I still haven't managed to catch one this year. I think sometime this week I'm gonna get up super-early, and go somewhere to watch. I say that, but I know it won't happen.

There's also mention of music. I've recently purchased two albums from the iTunes store, Relient K's new Five Score and Seven Years Ago, as well as David Crowder Band's slightly older Sunsets and Sushi (Experiments in Spectral Deconstruction).

As with every other album ever, there are a few songs that just infuse me with energy. I listen to O Praise Him (All This For A King) [Oceanic Mix], and it's a great feeling. I just want to walk. I want to watch everything that happens around me. And I want the music to follow.

And then on Relient K's CD, Come Right Out and Say it, Forgiven, Devastation and Reform, Faking My own Suicide, Bite my Tongue, and Up and Up, all of them just make me want to run. To find something worth running to, and just give it.

It's unfortunate that these elations have to die. I listen to something inspiring, but then I remember that life isn't as simple as "run" or whatever other feelings they evoke.

But let's all just pretend it is that simple. Because it feels good.

17 March 2007

I've Given In

I just logged in to the Facebook account I made a month ago.

Ugh. Maybe it's an acquired taste? I'm not liking the layout with all the control panels or whatever. I'm fairly certain I'll grow into it, I guess.

EDIT: Aagh, I just looked through some pictures of Corner Brook kids. WHY did I come to St. John's?! I miss those guys sooo much.

Gee, way to trigger an emotional breakdown Facebook! Good job. Ugh.

15 March 2007

A Relaxed Day

So, today was a fairly relaxed day, with no pressure from tests, assignments, papers ... whatever. Soon enough those will pile up again, I'm sure, but for now I can breathe easy.

In the meantime, I spent some time chilling in the University Center, as I am prone to doing sometimes. Everybody was making birthday cards once I arrived, so I sort of joined in on that. It was fun times.

Then I spent the next three hours sitting around, and talking. It's been decided that if I ever get elected to be the president of SASF, Zach will have to be my adviser. Examples of the decisions we've already made:

"President" will have to be changed to something more awesome, like "Emperor," or "Supreme Ruler."

An Honor Guard will have to be drafted and trained from the general members. Each exec member will get two to follow them in their daily activities. Just in case.

At least three battle-capable, carrier-class Starships will be commissioned, as well as the necessary starfighters for their defense.


Can you see the future folks? It looks good, doesn't it?

14 March 2007

About Me

Some things I've noticed (or have been pointed out) about me:

I start 90% of my blog posts with the word "So." I go back after and delete it most of the time.

When I get excited about a point I'm about to make, or making, I start to tap on the edge of the table with my index finger. Apparently I tap like a retard, and can at times shake the table. My fingers hurt afterwards if I think about it.

About half of the stories I tell about my "friends" are actually about me.

I internally obsess about how I look much of the time, but I rarely do anything about it.

I fantasize about knowing foreign languages a lot. I imagine situations where a Chinese (Or German, or Japanese, or Italian, or whatever else) person is standing around. I say "Hi" in their language, and amaze everybody around me.

I've pretty much accepted the fact that my dreams are foolish and likely will not be realized, but I still hang on to the notion that I'll spend a year or two in each of Germany, Russia, Israel, China, and Japan.

I've started to write six stories in the past two years, but have quit every time before the third chapter, often in the first.

In all six of those stories, I'm pretty sure the protagonist has the same name: Alex.

I get fixated on certain people a lot. I spend much time and energy trying to please them, and grow a closer friendship with them. It's unhealthy, and it has never paid off.

13 March 2007

Modest Mouse - Dashboard

I love discovering new music. I've been watching some Relevant.TV over the past day or two (which isn't working right now for some reason).

Well, I found this song, then looked it up on YouTube so I could post it here.

The video is fun, and I'm enjoying the music.

Put Modest Mouse on my list of "artists to buy albums of."

"Yeah, it would've been, could've been worse than you would ever know."

visualDNA

Hey, check out the thingy I found on Chris' blog: visualDNA.

Mine is at the bottom of the blog (below where the posts show up, it wouldn't fit in the sidebar).

Everybody should definitely get one =D

12 March 2007

Xerxes

It's funny: Here I am, a Christian, believing in the truth of scripture, but when I see it correlating to history in some way, I'm shocked.

Tonight I went to Corps Cadets at the Citadel, and sat in on one of the classes there. The class was discussing the book of Esther, and the story therein. While I was reading through the first chapter or two, I was hit by the startling realization that Esther married the king of Persia. King Xerxes I.

King Xerxes I was the Persian king who waged the Greco-Persian War, where Greece was invaded, and eventually repelled the invaders. A prominent battle (a tactical loss, but a victory in morale for the Greeks) was the Battle of Thermopylae. The battle that the recently viewed 300 is based on.

Crazy stuff, hey? I love when that stuff fits together. I just spent a half hour reading about the Greco-Persian War on Wikipedia. Neat stuff, let me tell you. Those Spartans had it going on.

Rediscovery of Ancient Truths

Today I was met with revelation. Well, maybe not a revelation, but you know what I mean: I've re-applied this truth that I've known to my life.

A friend of mine on Friday, while I was sitting alone, and thinking, came over, and we had a very short conversation. I was rebuked lightly for complaining about the state of my relationships, and yet sitting on my own during the skating. I can see what she was saying, but that really wasn't what I was having trouble with.

We went on, and I got a little bit introspective. Perhaps in pursuing new friendships, I was letting the old fall into disrepair.

I thought long and hard on that, and then tonight, asked some folks out to coffee.

One of the reasons I was pursuing other friendships was the fact that deep conversation, deep connection didn't really happen that much in the friendships I had previously. I realize now that I had a large part in that.

I decided to trust in the evening, to let it take it's course. Conversation was fluid, and touched on some deep topics I had been longing to converse on for a while.

Why am I so stupid some days?

New friendships will still be pursued, but never again at the expense of the old. I did that in High School, and it was a dumb idea. I've done that this month, and it's proven to be just as dumb. I'll try and remember never to do that again.

Also, I'm thinking I might actually go for the SASF exec next year. I had toyed with the idea, then jettisoned it as ludacris. But now, I'm not sure.

Whatever happens: happens.

11 March 2007

300

I went to see 300 today. I tried to get somebody to go with me, but failed. Turns out, I asked the wrong people. Oh well, better luck next time on that one.

Anyways, all I have to say is 'fantastic.' It was highly stylistic, and impossibly unhistoric. But that's okay, because it wasn't trying to stay true to life.

Warning: ABSOLUTELY NOT for everyone. There were a few scenes with nudity, and most of it was unnecessary. Also, there is a lot of blood. Nothing in the way of internal organs rolling on the ground, mind you, but there's a lot of blood sort of being flicked around. It's almost a character. A few severed limbs and beheadings, too.

In a sentence: extreme on the violence. But that's pretty much the point of the movie, and it did it's job well, in pushing the story forward. A very basic story, but a story nonetheless.

So yeah, I can't wait for more people to go see it, so I can talk about it.

Josh is happy.

EDIT: Mamsy Pamsy off of Relevant Forums put it best, I think:

"One of the manliest movies I have ever seen. It's right up there with Braveheart and Fight Club.

Seriously, the message of the movie was "I AM MAN!""

10 March 2007

Upcoming Meltdown

Every so many months, I have this emotional meltdown. I don't know how to prevent them. I've been learning to deal with them. They've affected my relationships in the past, for the better and for the worse. I'm trying to cushion the impact now.

Today it began. I was talking to Marlene during my meeting about what gives me a deep satisfaction. The answer was "deep connection."

It makes sense, I know, but I can't speak for anybody else. I live for that connection with other human beings. There have been a few people in the past with whom I've consistently connected with for a time, but they all cycle. Example: I have no such connection right now.

I look at my relationships as they stand right now. I've got plenty of friends: more than I would have asked for! I annoy the heck out of them, but they stick around. It's good.

I think about a person with whom I've shared a "deep connection" before. I re-organized my days around our conversations. Those talks were worth the cost of living in St. John's, of going to MUN. Something has happened, though. I don't know what, but that connection is gone. We're still friends, and laughs are still shared, but I talk to them and think about how all that made me feel.

I'm not even talking about a romantic-interest sort of thing. Yes, this person is female, but it wasn't like that. But then I wonder why isn't today like the way it was? Perhaps I made it that way. Did I make it awkward? Did I talk too much and listen not enough? Did I not engage?

Heck, it could just be the natural evolution of my relationships. It sucks, but that's probably it.

I was contemplating all this quietly alone at SASF, which I realize now is a bad move. I was content, and happy, sitting and watching people skate. I would have preferred that over skating, I think. I tried to reach out, though, and sort of got burned. Then somebody came to talk to me. I'm not sure how I feel about that. I'm glad somebody made the effort, and I was glad for the conversation ... but I realize how I painted myself in a negative light.

Maybe I do need to be content with the way things are. Maybe the only relationships I can have right now are the ones around the University lunch table. I guess everybody I know is too good a student to go to a movie on a Monday night, or to throw a much needed Study-Saturday away. Can I fault them for having a focus on academia? Of course not.

It's just that, this is not the social situation I imagined when I was coming to St. John's, but reality is typically not as fun as fantasy, I guess.

This is making me feel better. I don't know if that's good or bad. I've never been able to diffuse a "meltdown" before, so I fear I'm just postponing the problem.

Ugh. Why is reality so messy?

07 March 2007

I am Solomon's Fool

I don't like who I am all the time. Maybe not the greatest statement to put where friends can read, but what can you do?

I spend time with people, and then think about how I would view myself if I were them.

"He's a fool"
"He speaks without thinking"
"He doesn't know what he's talking about"
"He's arrogant"
"He's annoying"

All things I hear myself saying about me.

I know there are good things, but that doesn't make the bad ones go away. I want to "fix" those gross spots, because I don't like seeing them on myself, but it's much easier said than done.

I'm really hoping that this Haiti trip will give me an opportunity to look within myself, while I'm focused outward. Likewise with camp, if I get accepted, but I'm pretty much assuming that I won't be, for now. A lot of more qualified people are applying.

This summer is looking more and more mundane with every passing day. It's not that I don't want to work. It's that I do want to do something fulfilling. And for more than just two weeks (though that's better than not at all).

I also noticed something today. I started reading Proverbs again, and with every time I read that book, it leaps out at me more and more. But it condemns me more and more too. In almost every proverb about fools vs. the righteous, or vs. the wise, I paint myself as the fool, more than the other.

Maybe everybody does, I don't know.

"Wounds from a friend can be trusted,
but an enemy multiplies kisses."
(Proverbs 27:6)

Some days I'd sell my soul for one of those disastrous kisses Solomon is talking about here. They won't help me grow, but at least I wouldn't have to realize how I'm in the wrong 90% of the time.

This has been 100% unprocessed thought.

The "300" Thoughts, and on Closeness

I just got home. A quick post, then I've got to type my next paper for Philosophy tomorrow.

300 comes out this weekend. I don't care who else I can convince, I'm going on Saturday. There was a promotion where 300 seconds of the movie were posted online. It looks highly stylized, but fantastic.

I read through some of the comments on YouTube and was (as often happens reading things on the internet) quite disturbed. One person made a comment on how amazing the historical event was. Somebody responded about not taking Greek Mythology as fact. Numbers were thrown, and claims were made.

My understanding is that 1500 Greeks (including 300 Spartans, the greatest warriors in the world at the time) stood up against a massive Persian army, fighting to the last man, and taking out between 20 000 and 40 000 invaders. The movie takes a lot of liberty, eliminating the 1200 "other" Greeks, and making the Persian army a million strong.

But nobody should take this as history! The style alone should let you know that this isn't a documentary! They have freaking trolls, guys! Are you stupid?

Anyways, all this comes on the heels of a decent day. I spent the majority of it in the Library with Dave and Steph. I read a lot, while they worked and passed notes.

Let me tell you, I look at Dave and Steph, and get pretty jealous. Not of either one of them in particular. Such great friends, and they seem so close. This could just be the outsider looking in, but I couldn't remember a relationship of my own that looked that ... good. There probably are a few, but it just got me to thinking about what's going on out here now.

Greg, my best friend out here, has been gone for a month and a half now. I've spent a lot of the time since his leaving, trying to find a new friend on that caliber. It just hasn't happened. It seems like everybody is comfortable in their groups at this time of year. I can chill with these people at lunch, but I don't think I've actually done anything with any university students since Greg has left. I've hung around with Meighan, and Mark here and there, but those times seem far and few between as it is. A few plans with other people have been made too, but nobody seems to want to act.

I have to admit. I feel very lonely sometimes. Then I think about what I do have, and it is good. I guess it's just me being greedy, wanting something like these intense friendships that I see. "Those took years to forge," I keep telling myself. "In year 3-4 of MUN, I'll have friendships like that."

It's hard to be patient sometimes, though. Especially when what you have doesn't look at all like what you've imagined, and it looks like your imaginings will never be realized in quite that way.

Patience was never my gift.

05 March 2007

Going Computer-less

So, my computer has eaten up too much of my time as it is.

I've decided that for the next few weeks (not supposed to be a lent thing, but whatever) I'm going to limit my computer usage, by packing my Mac away in it's box for the majority of the day.

I'm allowing myself an hour every day for internet usage, checking emails, blogging, etc., plus three "wildcard" hours redeemable at any point in the week for watching shows and stuff. So that leaves me with 10 hours a week. A lot of time?

Well today, I got home at 1:30, and haven't moved off my computer until now, 4:30. 3 hours, and I'd be on it for longer during a normal day.

Perhaps I'll get some reading done. I'll go on a walk or two. Maybe even catch up on my Psychology (hint: I've got one class' material covered, and we've got less than a month left of class this semester).

My biggest argument against myself was that I use it for music, if nothing else ...

So I'm burning my iTunes library off in the next half hour, and calling it it.

If anybody needs to contact me, call the house. Then again, nobody really messaged me anyways, so ... yeah.

Ugh, I'm so going to die.

03 March 2007

Songs to Turn the Wheels

Every so often I find a song that absolutely drives me.

Not in the colloquial way, as in "drive me up the wall," but just drives me. Puts energy into the system. Adds fuel to the fire.

Pillar's Frontline
Burlap to Cashmere's Eileen's Song
Anberlin's Paperthin Hymn
Jar's of Clay's Frail and Oh My God
Lost Prophets' Can't Catch Tomorrow
Guns 'n Roses' Civil War

Well let's welcome Josh Groban to the list, Now or Never makes me smile. It makes me want to do something. To run, to create, to find things.

Music shouldn't be that potent. I want to do something adventurous.

02 March 2007

YFM Retreat

I've essentially put off blogging this week since I've resolved to make the next post about the YFM retreat I went to last weekend. It's Friday, so maybe I should get on that.

I have a theory on why I enjoy YFM as much as I do. SASF is made up entirely of University students. It's great, but there's just ... something off about it to me sometimes. Like I expect people to be either more serious, or more silly, but they're comfortably in the middle. That's probably a good place to be, but it's just not where I sort of expect them to be. As far as YFM goes, I've got pretty low expectations on the intellectual scale, which some people more than meet. And they're just silly too.

This sort of rabid enjoyment of YFM has made me question whether I should just drop SASF altogether, but there are several factors keeping me from doing that. I won't get into it.

So YFM retreat was pretty great. The whole weekend, there was a table set up with drinks and junk food. That's cool in itself.

The first night we pretty much broke up into groups, and made our own movies. I was a bit disappointed with the level of involvement in our group, but I can't deny that the end result was a pretty incredible movie.

Saturday consisted of much fun, beginning with breakfast (obviously) and a session lead by Julia, about doing "something undignified." Lunch, and then free time, in which a bit of German was studied ("Warum ist die Katse in dem Kuhlschrank?" "Warum nicht?") and much Wii was played. Another session, and then supper. Finally, we had our night at the Oscars, where we learned the results of the voting on the movies we made the previous night. Everybody dressed up to some degree, and it was pretty much a blast.

The most awesome part of the entire weekend, though, was the bonding game, and book-signing that happened after a snack and a few games. The bonding game involved a person picking somebody they don't normally talk to a lot, and telling them why they're awesome. During this explanation, you tie a bit of string which you have, to a bit of string that they have. In the end, once everybody has gone, there's a big circle of string, and everybody feels all fuzzy, and a few are crying. I cried at a few ... but luckily not my own.

After that, we were all given little notebooks, and pens. We sat in a giant circle, and wrote our names on a book. Pass to the right, and write something in the book you were just handed. In the end, you get a notebook with messages from everybody at the retreat, saying something about why you're cool, or wishing you luck in the next few months, or whatever else. It was cool, because I got a chance to write some things to some people that I didn't know how to say. Plus, after reading through my book, I realized just how awesome I am. (hah!)

Anyways, after five hours of book signing, most went to bed at about four thirty a.m. The next day was your standard Sunday of any retreat, meaning a service, then cleanup.

I can't wait to go to retreat next year. I wish that awesomeness could be carried over whole months, but I guess it just doesn't happen.

So, I need groceries, and I have the money to get them. I'd better do that before I forget about it.