"Courtship"?

So. A two hour conversation, and request to borrow my copy of I Kissed Dating Goodbye have filled my past few days with thoughts on dating and relationship.

Out of curiosity, I searched wikipedia for Joshua Harris (whom I've been mistakenly calling Josh McDowell for several months now). That led me to a critique of Harris' opinions on dating and courtship, and I'm just about to give him a little bit more respect. I've traditionally held that his thoughts on Christian relationships are a bit too strict, and in some cases are foolish. I still believe this, but I can't deny that the core of his argument is probably the best way.

Joshua Harris apparently is not a member of the "Biblical Courtship" movement, though it's been said that he has pushed others in that direction.

After reading the Biblical Courtship article on Wikipedia, I only have two ammendments I'd make to their points before I swallow them entirely.

The point on Supervision over the courtship is probably a good one, though I imagine that being more of an accountable supervision. Certain privacy rights are probably no-fly-zones, but there is still a need for privacy here and there. Supervision probably shouldn't resemble a Nazi occupation.

The next point I'll just copy and paste first:
"The importance of singleness before marriage as a time for greater Christian service in the community, rather than a time to be employed in selfish pursuits."
I'm not quite sure I'm agreement with this. It is important to "make the most of your singleness" as Harris puts it. Relationships take effort, and if there's no relationship to take up effort, put that effort into something useful. I'm also a fan of the single time being a time when you become the perfect someone. Work on how you deal with people, spend time doing things around the house ... all things Harris also says.

So I guess "singleness" is actually important, though I fear people might interpret this as a command to prolong singleness unhealthily. Example: besides there being no "prospects" right now is probably not a terrific time for me to get into a relationship. I've heard others say similar things, because of percieved immaturity, lack of time, focus on other areas of life, etc. However, once the time comes when Marriage is concievable ... when you're confident in your ability to be a good husband/wife, when you reach a decent age, or other points ... I don't believe it's right to put off the search.

Maybe that's not what I'm trying to say. What I probably mean is "I'm not going to wait any longer than I have to, to start looking."

Heck, I guess really I'm looking now. I see my (female) friends here and there, and I wonder whether "it" could work. I haven't found anybody yet who'se answer is an unbiased "yes," but I wonder what I'd do if I thought I found one.

But I digress.

I'm going to have to read Harris' book once more and sort that out.

P.S. One of the biggest criticisms from me on Harris has always been where he draws "the line" when it comes to physicality. There's a brief story on a couple who decided that there would be no hugs. If I recall, the book encourges drawing the line before kissing. As in, the first kiss would come with the wedding.

Like I said. This was probably my biggest criticism, but now that I think about it, it's probably a good idea.