gibeon café

Consolidation

2008-07-25T18:00:00.004-02:30

I have been quite the derelict blogger in the past few months, mostly for lack of anything interesting or entertaining to say. Aquiring a new blog does not signal my intention to hop back on the blogging bandwagon, despite my every wish to be a better, more interesting blogger.

What it does signal is my desire to consolidate my internet prescence. I have now, with this blog post, consolidated my blog, email, youtube, and more accounts under one username and password. What's more: unlike email addresses in high school and earlier, the username is something I need not be bashful for putting on resumes. "joshuaDOTakDOTthompsonATgmailDOTcom" High five!

So. Here is my new blog. Clicking this link will bring you to a cathedral for creativity, empty but for promise. Potential is the decoration of it's vaulted ceiling.

The Derelict Traveller

2008-07-20T01:38:00.005-02:30

Just thought I'd throw this out there. Constructive criticism welcome.

=====

The familiar road, through which the derelict traveller walks, sits shrouded in night. Homes stand emptied by the vessel of dreams. The wind whispers to those who would hear.

Conspiring clouds conceal from him the stars. As his foot falls, a brazen moon defies him to find the gems of the abyss. The lady of the wind coolly caresses his cheek as she whispers stories of roads elsewhere.

He does not know that his next footfall could meet the earth of a distant land. He does not know that every step he takes is another journey he did not start. And so his footfalls land one in front of the other, carrying him down the empty street.

Soon he will meet morning. The woman will speak to all men, and none will listen. The moon will retire, ever ready to reiterate his dare.

Bitesized Tidbits

2008-06-30T23:17:00.003-02:30

I Love:

When customers ask me if my cash is open, even when my light is off, I'm putting money in a sack, and there is a metal gate barring them from coming near my cash.

When people ask me if I am working in Seasonal when I have to pass it to get to Cash # 10. "Yes, I do work in seasonal. I just carry this huge metal tray of money with me everywhere I go because it's more convenient than a wallet.

When customers urge me to get a University education.

When engineers urge me to get a University education that isn't Philosophy.

When in the run of a day my ambitions in life range from becoming a World-Famous Author, to becoming a Hooter's Waitress.

Realizing that (off paper), my paycheck doesn't look so huge.

Midnight Stir-fry (this one isn't actually sarcastic)*

* - Note: It isn't midnight yet. "Midnight Stirfry" just sounds better than "Eleven-thirty P.M. Stirfry."

Stuff I Discovered Last Week

2008-06-15T13:12:00.004-02:30

A short list of things I've learned in the past week:

1 - Some people in this province do not know who their premier is. Also, my father is able to convince them that he is premier.

2 - It is possible to ask for clarification of a statement up to five times, and receive the exact same wording each time.

3 - Nickels are the stupidest coins on the planet.

4 - I frequently have to hand back 41 cents in change to customers. Conveniently, 41 cents is easily found: it is one of each coin in Canadian Currency smaller than $1.

5 - Some people will tell you that their Canadian Tire 'Money' is organized for your convenience. It is rarely convenient.

6 - People making faces in the background of pictures with the intent of ruining said picture ('Photobombing') is an artform.

7 - Eggplants are stupid.

8 - Pizza Shops in Corner Book do not deliver before 4:00 P.M.

9 - The Sims 2 will chew up your soul and spit out sorrow.

10 - Kayne West's blind-glasses in the 'Stronger' video are really stupid. And yet, I wish I had a pair.

Bonus - Bamboo is in the true grass family.

Two Interesting Tidbits

2008-05-09T01:15:00.002-02:30

Two little tidbits to add tonight.

Part I
First is that I was almost a burn victim about an hour ago. My friend Scott is moving tomorrow, and so tonight myself, him, and another friend Mags went to get some pizza at the favorite pizza place here.

One thing led to another, and we were on a secluded baseball field with fireworks. At one point during the night, Mags' firework thing tipped over and started spewing fireworks into center field. Scott decided he'd do the same, after watching the effect, pointing his into left field.

I was in left field.

I saw the firework pointed some direction, and in the dark wrongly interpreted it to be pointed in my general direction. I ran.

Turns out, I ran into the firework's field of fire. All I heard was "No! The other way!" and there was a crack.

Only one firework was in that tube, but when I saw it launch I jumped (more from reflex than anything else). And I swear to God, the firework flew under me. I felt the heat. Half a second later it exploded.

I wish someone had recorded it, because it must have looked pretty cool. I was a little shaken, but we were from that period on a little more careful about our horizontal fireworks.

Part II
Last week I finished two books - works of fiction - and since then I've been reading an Oxford classic ... a collection of two of Cicero's works of political philosophy. Fairly dry stuff, only made worse by the fact that many of the pages of the original are lost, so there are constant notes to the effect that "The gist of the next few pages appeared to have been ... "

Anyways. I found this, and thought it was pretty cool:

... There will not be one such law in Rome and another in Athens, one now and another in the future, but all peoples at all times will be embraced by a single and eternal and unchangeable law; and there will be, as it were, one lord and master of us all-the god who is the author, proposer, and interpreter of that law. Whoever refuses to obey it will be turning his back on himself. ...

The words are in the mouth of the character of Laelius, who is asserting that justice is necessary for the stability of a state. He is describing the natural law, I believe, which had just prior been described as separate from the laws of a state by an opponent in dialogue.

Smokey and Discipline

2008-04-29T19:28:00.002-02:30

My dog, Smokey, apparently is very much lacking in the discipline department. We've sort of kept him on a long leash (hah) in that department in much the same way you would excuse someone with Tourette Syndrome. It's not the dog's fault. Our excuse for him has always been that he's a little daft.

But this is where it ends. This summer. I want to walk the dog, partially for his benefit, and partially for my own. I've been meaning to bring a water gun on these walks, to give him a squirt when he gets too rowdy, but I don't have one available at the moment. Which is why I ended up giving up after ten minutes.

The funny thing was that after giving up, while sauntering back to the house, Smokey was a hundred times better behaved. When he came to the end of his leash he stopped, instead of trying to pull me along, choking himself in the process. I decided to see if he'd roll with it, and we walked right past the house. As soon as we passed the outermost inch of our front lawn, however, he was at it again, so I called it quits and went inside.

Here's the thing. He doesn't seem to realize that he just ruined what could have been a great walk. We got into the house, and you wouldn't know if I had brought the dog to the Moon and back. In his doggish way, he jumped around and looked at me in his "that was a FANTASTIC walk!" way, even though we had passed perhaps twenty houses total.

As soon as I manage to reign him in a bit ... I might even be able to enjoy the walks.

On the Psychological Impact of a 4 a.m. Overdose

2008-04-24T03:19:00.002-02:30

The time right now is three twenty, but soon it will be four a.m., which carries with it the weight of a more enigmatic hour. I suspect in earlier years, two o'clock in the morning would have been absurdly late, and more recently, three o'clock had usurped it's place as a quite late and too bizarre time to be awake. However, today the dangerous hour rests at four o'clock in the morning, and that is probably where this progression will end, since 5 o'clock speaks to me more of an early morning than a ridiculously late night.

A song by a band that I cannot produce the name of at the moment for some reason, speaking of what I think I remember as the death of a close friend, carries with it the title of 4 a.m. Forever. The more I think about this title, I am unsure if it's entirely appropriate to describe emotional anguish. I believe the song tries with the word "forever" to communicate the slowness of time passing for the narrator, which is appropriate, as 4 a.m. is an hour that passes slower than most. Where I find it inappropriate, is the fact that 4 a.m. has always to me been a magical time of day, carrying with it no preprogrammed emotional distress.

There is a saying that "Six (or seven, or eight, or eleven for my more deadbeat friends) is an hour that should only happen once a day." The thrust of the saying, as I understand it, is that for one of the two "Six o'clocks" that exist, a person should be sleeping.

I would suggest that Four is probably an hour that only properly exists once in a twenty four hour period. Something happens between three fifty nine, and five o'clock that I can't explain, and would rather leave to the scientific community or druids to explore, because Four in the morning is a strange place to be.

Music takes a new effect at this hour. The subtlest piano ditty can be so compelling as to inspire you to run to Moscow, and yet so captivating, to leave the source of music would be sacrilege. Ever since a particularly shocking five a.m. involving scrambled eggs, a most probably stolen pink tricycle , and Bruce Springsteen's "Born To Run" on infinite loop, I never listen to a portable music player after midnight.

At four in the morning, things make much more sense than they normally do, you might notice. Philosophy papers, for example, seem to possess an artistic depth and legitimacy that they in the daylight hours find severely lacking. Notes, letters, and journal entries written at four a.m. and read the next day often evoke the same feelings that readings of mystical texts do. The author seems to be deeply affected by something profound. The universe makes sense for this person. And yet: his message to you, written on a plane of understanding far beyond daylight grasp, is not even remotely useful.

The existence of email capabilities is also a problem. More than a dozen times I've written messages, no doubt profound and moving at four a.m., that after re-read during breakfast inspire depressed sobbing at both lost clarity and the idiocy of the text at hand.

Ideas seem to be able to fend for themselves at four a.m., and sensibility is not an asset in the bloody mind-carnage that ensues. The surviving ideas all, strangely, seem to include the notion that the idea should be sent to interested parties immediately. A survival instinct of these ideas is probably to ignore the fact that nobody will genuinely be interested in the following idea. Another apparent survival instinct is the fact that some of the ensuing emails even understand that their time is limited, and they must be planted in other soil qickly before they wither and die with sunrise. The most compelling evidence for this survival instinct is the fact that time and time again, four a.m. emails begin with sentences like "I know if I don't send you this idea now, I probably won't ever ... "

Despite all of the havoc that ensues from an ill-prepared-for four a.m., I often seek them like a drug. "The clarity the hour offers is certainly worth any damage it does" I tell myself in the hours after one o'clock. I know I'll regret the result but ... "I'm awake anyways. I might as well just sit by the computer and flick on Bruce Springsteen." The lies we tell ourselves when we need a fix.

I am a junkie. I need help.

But then again, curtains and pickles should always be the same shade of green where possible. I mean that just makes sense!

Cortana's Uptime

2008-03-21T01:17:00.003-02:30

I just installed an application on my computer (Cortana is my computer's name =P) that gives me all these stats at a glance. Not really useful for me, since I'm not running anything heavy on resources, and I don't really know what to do with the information, but it's certainly interesting.

For instance: My uptime stands right now at 12 days. That means my computer hasn't been off in almost two weeks. I normally just put it to sleep when I'm not using it, including when carrying it around school/town. I'm using about 10% of my computer's processing power right now. I don't recall what the percentage was when I recorded the next stat, but sometime yesterday my CPU was running at 64∘c. Now, I don't really KNOW what that means. I understand temperature and all, but I don't know what's a high temperature for a processor to be at. All the same, 64∘c definitely surprises me.

Fun stuff. I also downloaded a clock that displays the time as a pong game. You can turn the clock off and just play Pong if you want. I have to throw a few matches initially though, to get the computer to slack back, because it starts at a difficulty level where it's just not fun to play. Too bad there's no way to set the computer level at a fixed starting speed.

Sleepless Nights

2008-03-10T07:00:00.003-02:30

You can only lay in bed so long without calling it quits.

When the clock hits five in the morning, and you still haven't shut your eyes for more than thirty seconds at a time, there's a choice. If you keep trying, and you succeed in sleeping, your alarm probably won't be too effective in three hours. But if you get up, you're going to be tired as hell the next morning.

Well, I've missed enough classes for two terms (not THAT many, but still too many) already, so I'm not a fan of sleeping in today. Especially since I have to pass in an assignment first thing. So Youtube has kept me company.

Tonight, I'm in bed at 6. And I'm setting my alarm for about quarter to 2064.

Also, I haven't posted here in over two months. I'm gonna get back at it. (I'm sure you're all* thrilled)

* - if there's anybody at all, I'd be shocked.

Philosophy Football

2007-12-14T11:03:00.000-03:30

Wow. Saw this last night.

I can't believe how incredibly hilarious it is. The world needs more high comedy.

Monochrome Night

2007-12-13T00:58:00.000-03:30

I typically dislike nights like this.

Between the clouds and the city lights, it doesn't look much like night.

But there's snow in the air, and on the ground. I look out my window and everything is a pinkish golden white. Everything is the same color.

It's beautiful.

The Third Funeral

2007-12-03T02:23:00.000-03:30

So tonight at about 12:30, my XBOX 360 died. This has happened twice before. Once in the first year I had it repaired or replaced, I don't recall. Then it died again in December of last year. Out of warranty, I figured I was out of luck. I couldn't afford a repair.

Over the summer, by a fluke call for my brother's XBOX Live account, dad discovered that the warranty for my console had been extended. I called Microsoft, and my XBOX was whisked off, and either replaced or repaired, I don't recall again. (I know there was 1 repair and 1 replacement, but I don't recall the order)

This summer I spent time getting to know the console again. It was a second honeymoon. This term I finally bought a new game, Halo 3. I ploughed through it, but without an XBOX Live subscription (Why would I renew it if my 360 was broken, after all?) the experience wasn't the Halo I love.

I then played Call of Duty 3, which had been sitting unfinished since the console broke in December. I beat it, and rejoiced. This past week I rented the Orange Box, and played through Portal, which I've discovered a love for. I had just picked up Half-Life 2, when tonight ... a tragedy.

Those three red lights. Flashing. Taunting.

Hardware Failure. I didn't even have to look it up at this point.

I called 1-800-4-MY-XBOX immediately and complained. When he offered to get a repair order set up, I suggested that a repair might not be enough. He forwarded me to a manager of some sort.

Let me tell you, despite being on hold for over an hour, I'm very impressed with the Microsoft Customer Support Team every time I call. The guy spoke my language, and sympathized with me. Apparently there's a division of Microsoft expressly for this, and they'll be calling me this week to figure out what can be done.

No promises yet, but I actually can't believe that this has gone this way. Three hours ago my console broke, and I'm already on the road to having it up and running again.

But why does it always happen RIGHT before Christmas?

Working Theory

2007-11-25T02:12:00.001-03:30

It's funny. Sometimes I put together a working theory as to how a certain thing is working, like a social hierarchy or something, or some sort of relationship pentagon, and even though I know it's probably incorrect, it brings me comfort.

And despite knowing that it's incorrect, and I'm expecting the reality to be different, when the reality turns out to be different, I can't help but be surprised.

For a little while after, my head is reeling. My reality gyroscope is going haywire trying to compensate for the slightest shove in a wayward direction. It's an interesting feeling.

Also, my knee feels funny.

Why I Love My Chinese Philosophy Prof

2007-11-21T11:17:00.001-03:30

(Note: She is a Professor of Chinese Philosophy, not a Chinese Professor of Philosophy)

[General noise from construction equipment outside the window in the middle of her lecture]
"You know, it's a really good thing that there aren't any schools or anything near here, or else that would be really disruptive."

Madness

2007-11-02T02:48:00.000-02:30

Every step you take, it follows. Sometimes it is so far back, you could hardly see if you looked. Other times it's breathing down your neck. Madness.

And the day that it overtakes you, I'll be there singing The Battle Hymn of the Republic backwards, my spatula held aloft, in a gesture of goodwill.

Bring your cat. He and I never did finish our conversation on Marxist theory.

Communist.

A Poem from 1:30 A.M.

2007-11-01T01:50:00.000-02:30

Conceived by insomnia and insanity comes a new poem from the mind of Joshua Thompson:

======

Proposal for the Changing of the Anomaly of Language That is the Word "Orange"

Orange we know,
Is a word with no rhyme.
Search if you will,
But you're wasting your time.

This colour, no doubt,
Is abandoned indeed,
Rhymes for the others
Are found with great speed.

So I would propose
A most foolhardy aim,
To modify "orange"
But not change it's name.

That's just too outrageous!
Surely you jest!
Cry misunderstanders,
While pounding their chests.

But our word "orange"
is a strange one, amen?
With it's letters "G.E."
Preceded by "N."

Similar words,
Like arrange and change,
Have companions plenty,
They're not estranged.

Was it an error,
Or is something amiss?
Why don't we say
Fair orange like this?

So from this day onwards
I am fixing this wrong.
"Or-ange" it is,
Like it should all along.

Now my dear list'ner,
My rant finds it's end.
Like red, blue, and green,
"Or-ange" has some friends.

And my most dear colour,
You might think it's strange,
Can end a rhyme scheme,
Just watch: "Or-ange!"

=====

Motivation

2007-10-24T22:10:00.000-02:30

Considering that I was up until 3:30 last night constructing a Halloween costume, I have absolutely no excuse for not having my Philosophy book read.

Motivation, is an issue.

I'm going to get on that. No sleep until the reading is done.

Chatting with God

2007-10-23T14:52:00.000-02:30

I found this application on this blog. It's actually a lot of fun.

A highlight ...

Me:
Where do babies come from?
God:
Babies come from the love between a man and a woman.
Me:
But what if there is no love?
God:
Try it and see.
Me:
Are you suggesting I have meaningless sex?
God:
Yes, that's what I mean, isn't it clear?

Clearly this isn't Yaweh.

Arctic-Grade iPod Headphones

2007-10-18T22:54:00.000-02:30

I need Arctic-Grade iPod Headphones. I'm sick of headphones breaking just because I want to go walking outdoors.

It gets cold in Newfoundland. Newfoundland isn't Antarctica, though. You'd think if someone is going to design a product for the developed world, it would work in the developed world. Anywhere in the developed world.

And yet, I need to replace my headphones three times a winter. Winter hasn't even hit yet, and my current pair is going.

Do Arctic-Grade iPod Headphones exist? And if so, where can I get them.

My Ahumanism

2007-10-16T00:01:00.000-02:30

I had a conversation with David a while back about faith. He said something that struck me, when he stated that he was more confident in the existence of God, than in his own existence. A strong statement. And after considering it, it's a conviction that I share.

It's long been known to me where my faith falls. It's not faith in God. It's my faith in man that is shaken.

I know it's not wise to put faith into anything as shaky as the human experience, but if I don't have at least a little faith, nothing will ever get done. How can I build a relationship if I don't believe in those with whom I am dealing?

The whole thing is a mess. I can't even get into what I want to say right now ... I don't know what I want to say, much less how to say it. If you've got the time, just pray that I won't be such a moron with these things.

I'm getting exhausted with constant thinking. A break would be nice. Which means it's sleep time.

Confidence and Consequence

2007-10-14T23:44:00.000-02:30

Google tells me that the title of this post is also an album by a band "Too Pure to Die." Completely coincidental, I assure you.

So I think about something. I talk about it, and I reach a conclusion. I'm confident in most of my conclusions, because they receive a trial by fire before I accept them. That's just how I work.

That doesn't mean convictions don't come without consequences. I So Hate Consequences. Different from the song, it is, but I just wanted to link something.

Looks like this is going to be an interesting week with meeting with a few ... gurus ... and talking about future plans, what's going on now, leadership, and other related things. Shepard Book, from Firefly, when asked why he didn't care where he was going, replied "'Cause how you get there is the worthier part."

Some times I just wish I'd arrive. I don't care how important the journey is. I don't care that it forces you to grow. I honestly believe that looking back at myself in the past year, I've grown a lot. A year ago, I would have been angered b y someone calling themselves an adult. "That's a distinction you don't get to make!" I'd cry.

Well I'm laying my claim to adulthood now. I know there's a ways to go before I'm the man I'm supposed to be. Nevertheless, I am an adult. And most of the time I'm treated like one. So I might as well admit it.

But alas, I digress. I'm confident that I'm an adult. I'm confident that my spiritual walk right now is better than it's been in a long time. I'm confident that admitting my weaknesses, and insecurities, and asking for help is the most adult thing I will ever do. And I'm confident that I don't have to agree with people just because they don't understand how I can disagree with such perfect logic.

And I'm confident that this confidence won't last long enough for me to do something with it. Unfortunate.

(Why do I always have to end off on such a pessimistic note? I want my optimism back.)

A Challenger Approaches!

2007-10-14T02:04:00.000-02:30

So here it is at two o'clock. I can't sleep. I've tried, but it's not happening. What is my solution? Ice Cream. That and then sitting down.

I'm about to open the word, but for now I'll blog.

Relevance vs. Difference. What does a relevant Christian look like? Who does he hang out with, and where does he go? Casting crowns tells me ...

What this world needs is for us to stop hiding behind our relevance
Blending in so well that people can't see the difference
And it's the difference that sets the world free

So I ask myself how relevant I'm trying to be, and whether I'm hiding behind it. There are times that I avoid correction, I'd rather look right than be right.

This is not one of those times.

I need truth here.

In opposing ideologies, I'm by the danger tree. There's no safety here. I've been in one trench, and I'm being called towards the other. I need to find my conviction, and jump in the trench that I believe. I'm not 100% sure which one that is right now.

As a Christian, should I stay away from those dark and dangerous areas? I try to live by St. Francis' "Preach the Gospel always, and if necessary use words." So are those dark areas the "if necessary" times? Should I never walk there unless I'm speaking the word of God?

Or should I go there, and be with the people of my culture and generation? Should I live out St. Francis' command there the same as everywhere else?

Ugh, truth, find me quick!

Kierkegaard's Worst Deciple

2007-10-07T23:25:00.000-02:30

Let others complain that our age is evil; my complaint is that it is paltry. For it is without passion. People's thoughts are thin and flimsy as lace, they themselves are as pitiable as lacemakers. The thoughts in their hearts are too paltry to be sinful. For a worm it might be considered a sin to harbour such thoughts, but not for the human being shaped in the image of God. Their desires are stodgy and sluggish, their passions are sleepy. They do their duty, these hucksters, but like the Jews, they let themselves clip the coin just a little; they think that however well the good Lord keeps His books, they can still get away with cheating Him a little. Fie upon them! That's why my soul always reverts to the Old Testament and to Shakespeare. There at least one feels that it's human beings talking. There people hate, people love, people murder their enemy and curse his descendants through all generations, there people sin.
~Søren Kierkegaard ("Either/Or")

YC is done for a year, and I've been thinking here at my desk about action, passions and reason.

There was a moment during worship where it felt like God went Day of Pentecost on my pitiful rear. I closed my eyes, and just let myself move. It felt like worship, a level of worship I have been to only a few times. A time or two over the summer I recall having a lot of space to worship in, so I let myself move as I wanted to. It felt like worship. Unrestricted.

At YC I began to yell. Not mindless yelling, but shouting the reasons for my happiness, and praise to my king. It was incredible. I recall shouting several times in a minute "We Have the Ark." I hope nobody was watching, because thinking back, I must have looked like an idiot. Truthfully I felt a little bit the part as well, but after having read 2nd Samuel 6 again, my mind was put to rest.

When David returned home to bless his household, Michal daughter of Saul came out to meet him and said, "How the king of Israel has distinguished himself today, going around half-naked in full view of the slave girls of his servants as any vulgar fellow would!"

David said to Michal, "It was before the LORD, who chose me rather than your father or anyone from his house when he appointed me ruler over the LORD's people Israel—I will celebrate before the LORD. I will become even more undignified than this, and I will be humiliated in my own eyes. But by these slave girls you spoke of, I will be held in honor."

And Michal daughter of Saul had no children to the day of her death.

2 Samuel 6:20-23

David started taking off clothes! I've joked about it on several occasions, but never even in the context of worship. There's always next Sunday ...

Or even Monday, we should worship with our lives, right?

Anyways, I begin to think about passion, and the passion vs. reason, and whether there really is a vs. in there. I haven't decided on that, but Kierkegaard's work Either/Or (which I quoted above) begins with this ...

Are passions, then, the pagans of the soul?
Reason alone baptized?
~Edward Young

Which makes me think about whether I give my passions credit. Whether I burn them at the stake for being a pagan, and then let reason reign.

It's actually not as simple as that. Reason rarely reigns within me completely, which sometimes I curse, sometimes bless. But I wonder if the minority government within myself needs a shake-up. Should I act passionately? At least if I mess up, it'll be a real screw up, as opposed to letting my lacy self remain paltry.

And besides ...

A warrior poet once said
You're not dead yet so live like you could be
A warrior poet said
Have no regrets when you're old
~ The Classic Crime ("Warrior Poet")

So what's the worst that could happen if I act passionately. I could make an idiot of myself, but I clearly don't mind that. I've bought $200 of groceries to lug through a blizzard at 12 am. I've spent a night homeless for the sake of a day with friends. And a thousand other things I can't remember right now, but am realizing I need to write down.

At least I'd make a real idiot of myself. A passionate idiot. Instead of the fake idiot I've created with my silly facade. Don't get me wrong, that IS me. I am silly. But I'm not passionate about silliness. There are other things worth being passionate about.

Now it's time to get passionate. And it's time to start acting on that passion.

Also, it's time for a midnight sandwich.

Communication

2007-10-03T00:29:00.000-02:30

My Chinese Philosophy professor (A professor of Chinese philosophy, not a Chinese professor of philosophy) regularly makes me feel like it's my fault the world is going down the tubes. There was a specific day I remember when she pointed out that our culture seems to think anything on a screen is " ... true, and important, and good."

She assumed we didn't believe it. So she pointed out "How many of you have these stupid blogs?" A pause. "Why? 'Well, my thoughts are on a screen, that means they're important.'"

I don't agree with many of her thoughts, but she challenges me, and at the very least makes me think about what I'm getting on with.

So, without further delay, I get to my first blog post in over a month. Nobody even checks this place anymore, do they?

A lot has happened. I realized that as I thought about what I'm passionate about tonight. If I had to give an answer right now, it would be 'Communication.' Meeting people, and being able to communicate ideas and feelings. Communication for the sake of something bigger, like philosophy or theology, or Communication for the sake of communication.

I'm taking German still. Not doing terrific in it, but I'm getting by. I love it. I'm also doing Ancient Greek this term. Again, I'm doing terrible, but so far I'm getting by. And I'm enjoying it, despite the hard time I'm having.

How proficient do you have to be before you can count yourself as having a second language? I was wondering that the other day, because I don't call myself bilingual, while I have friends that do, because they can ask where the bathroom is in French.

I've been realizing, also, that I'm a lot more proficient in German than I thought I was.

It's great.

Mainlander for a Month

2007-08-16T14:20:00.000-02:30

They say if you don't know what a Mainlander is, you probably are one ...

... anyways ...

Here I am in Hamilton, Ontario. I flew here from North Carolina (a feat in itself, seeing as I missed my scheduled flight), and spent a week and a bit with my mom and brother, doing the holiday thing. I posted a bit about that earlier.

Well on Monday mom and Jacob went home. The original plan was for me to go to Peterborough this weekend and stay with a friend until National music camp started. Not so much anymore. I guess I suck at communication, because I have no place to stay there.

Which means I stay in Hamilton for another week. I can deal with it, but you know how it is when plans don't work out. Especially since I had some friends I was hoping to hang out with during that week. I'll still see them at camp, but that was going to be a great week.

So I'm here wondering what I can learn from my time in Hamilton. I don't believe God pulled the rug out from under me to teach me a lesson, but while I'm here I'm sure there are plenty of lessons I can learn. I'm thinking I might be able to do some volunteer work around or something. My uncle works with the Salvation Army, and it seems they're always looking for a hand.

That having been said ... if somebody from Peterborough stumbles over this blog and has extra floorspace available ... I wouldn't mind a hand.

On the Rocking of the Second-Person Personal Pronoun

2007-08-10T01:28:00.000-02:30

I haven't yet written much about my time in America. That'll have to wait.

Yesterday, Mom, Jacob, and myself went into Toronto for a day. We decided we'd see a show, and then spend a night in the hotel, and come back to Hamilton.

The show we went to was We Will Rock You, a musical done using the music of Queen. I honestly feared it would be terrible, although family was assuring me that it was actually quite good.

I typically try not to get too excited or extreme in expressing my opinion of things. If you asked me how my day, meal, or whatever else was, and I said "It was okay," take that as "good." I try not to say something was good, unless it was actually above expectation, or better than normal.

So understand my full meaning when I tell you that the show was fantastic. Right from the start my heart was set at ease. My fear of a terrible love story, or cheesy drama, set to Queen's music was slaughtered when it was apparent that the musical wasn't going to take itself too seriously.

Simply put, the thing was a brilliant satire, making fun of epic quests, messiah stories, and the rock world's self-importance. Half the lines were a reference to some song or another. I have no problem admitting that I missed a lot of the references. In fact, I think the entire audience missed two or three, one of which I actually caught, and a few more that it seemed the cast lagged for a second, waiting for a reaction.

What more can be said? I'd do it again in a split second.

I have renewed my vow to get to the theater more often this year, although I'll be a poorer boy than last year. And anything in St. John's will likely not compare to what's shown in Toronto.

Either way, anybody interested in catching a show this term?

May Cause Confidence

2007-08-06T22:08:00.001-02:30

I've been thinking a lot about Postmodernism, and "the loss of the real," and how television and corporate entities are contributing to the loss (or at least heavy directing) of individual identities. Not that it really needs much thinking about ...

But it's commercials like this that make me think that where we're at isn't so bad.

Great commercial.

Boy Do We Have Much To Discuss

2007-08-03T02:11:00.000-02:30

I'm back in the glorious Dominion of Canada again. I haven't had much time to blog over the summer, but I've been journaling like mad. Once I get a chance, I'm going to have to post some stuff here.

Until then, rest in the knowledge that I'm back in the Commonwealth. I will be spending my remaining summer time in Ontario, finishing by attending the Salvation Army Canada and Bermuda Territory's Territorial School of Music and Gospel Arts, from which I will fly directly to St. John's during the first week of classes.

Just so you know. Sorry Corner Brook friends. I promised you I'd be back to chill for a month. I didn't realize I was lying at the time ... but here I am.

In September it'll be 3 months since I set foot in Newfoundland. The longest I'll have been away from my island. Lord carry me. I miss the rock.

In Richmond

2007-07-18T01:14:00.001-02:30

The Carolinas' Music and Arts Conservatory is over for the 2007 camping season. I'm currently in Virginia with Dave and Steph, hanging with Matt, a guy who we met at camp. We're staying at his place for a few days before the Southern Territory's Territorial Music Institute begins. We'll be flying down there on Friday.

What can I say? It's been a good summer, but I can't wait for MUN to begin. Is it really a month and a half away?!

It's been a good time. I haven't taken any pictures (actually, I've literally taken one) ... fun times. I'm not really ready to get into a big old blog yet, but suffice to say it's been good.

I have had a few rough days. In fact, there was an entire week where I was just down. But other than that week, life's been good. I've met some awesome people, a lot of which from Newfoundland, ironically enough. Dave and I, for example, have crossed paths a million times, but have never met. It's weird.

Another person I've "met" is Shawn "The Body" Pittman. I've seen him at MUN a billion times, but never even said "hi." I got to know him a bit over the past summer, but (oh cruel irony) he won't be going back to MUN this year. Sadness! That would have been so awesome.

Anyways. Back to the party. I'm here in the apartment of a friend of Matt's. We're listening to Barenaked Ladies, and just finished explaining what a chesterfield is. Fun stuff.

In America

2007-07-04T15:16:00.000-02:30

Happy 4th of July everybody!

On Sunday, Dave (of Newfoundland), myself (also of Newfoundland), and Laura (of Ohio) celebrated a little bit of Canada day. We went to a national park near here and hiked 6 miles. It took us 4 hours. We got lost, but it was a hilarious good time. I'll probably get some pictures on facebook eventually once I get the pictures from Dave.

And now I'm here in the 'States for their national holiday. I thought that's pretty neat. I don't know all the words to the Star Spangled Banner, so I have trouble singing it. I do know the pledge of allegiance, but I don't say it ... because truthfully, I don't pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America ...

In other news, a few of the campers have offered to cut my hair. That should be good, except that the whole thing has evolved into a "let's give Josh a make-over." I'm going to get emo-hair, and on Sunday the camp is going to the mall, so Hot Topic will fix me up with some emo-clothes. I'm excited, I won't lie. These are some really cool kids.

I've been dealing with the fact that by the time I get back to Newfoundland, 3 months will have passed. I will have been off of the island for 1/4 a year, the longest I've ever been.

By the time I get to Corner Brook, it may be 6 months. Half a year without seeing my hometown. I was thinking about that stuff last week, and (along with some stuff going on here ... camp stuff, you know?) got pretty depressed. Everything is hip-hop-happy again now, but last week ... it was rough.

There's a group here at camp from South Africa called 13th Floor. They're into the preforming arts, and on Monday they had a little night program thing. There was some African-ish music played, while the people did a dance movement supposedly reminiscent of what would happen at night in an African tribe two hundred or so years ago. The day is over, and they gather around the fire. If there's work to be done, you continue the work while sitting around. The men tell the story of their hunt. The women chat.

Oh boy.

During the movement, the women danced. They prepared their maize. The men told their hunting story. There two men tried romancing the same woman. There was a fight. The woman ended it, and chose a husband. There was a marriage.

All without a word. All with dance.

There's an expressiveness in that I wish I could achieve. I've tried painting a few times in the last week. They've been turning out alright, but these art-sy things ... I hope I can get a chance to work on it this term.

Time to end this post. I miss Newfoundland, but I know it'll be there until I get back. If I'm thinking about doing an ESL certificate, I'm going to have to deal with a lot longer than three short months!

You're Greener Than Me

2007-06-26T12:10:00.000-02:30

I'm in North Carolina now. I've been working at Carolinas' Music and Arts for three weeks now? It's pretty great, I will say. It's exhausting, and I've had a few lonely spats, but overall, it's great.

I got my first tick this morning. I took care of it though. They're weird little guys, aren't they? I taped him up. I'll see if I can get a picture before he gets thrown out.

Campers are bothering me about women. Apparently they believe I need lessons in "breaking the ice." They think they're helping me get a date for the banquet at the end of camp. And here I was thinking I didn't need one. Who knew?

It's going to be a long summer yet. After camp is the Souther Territory's Territorial Music Institute. Then two weeks vacation in Ontario. Then I might stay an extra week until The Canada and Bermuda Territory's National Music Camp. That'd be cool, but it'd mean flying directly into St. John's.

That'd be difficult, but I could deal.

Oh, also. I'm green. I was supposed to be an Ogre last night for a game. Yeah, the face paint is stubborn in some places. That won't be happening again anytime soon.

En Route

2007-06-07T11:41:00.000-02:30

I'm here in Halifax airport now. It's exciting.

I love to be on the go. More specifically, I love to be around people who are on the go. I'm a people watcher, and Airports are the perfect place to set up camp.

There's also just something so great about airports. There are screens, moving sidewalks ... modern design ... it feels like you're stepping into a Science Fiction movie (Two exceptions: Deer Lake airport before the renovations, and Port Au Prince airport!). I love Toronto International ...

So my plane boards in an hour. Maybe I'll go get a drink at Starbucks, phone home, and play my Game Boy Color.

Yep. Stepped straight into the future.

A side note: This also marks the first trip I've made with my laptop. So far it's been a bit of a pain, but I've got a 3 hour stopover in Toronto ... and another long one in Montreal coming back ...

I love this! =D

Joshology

2007-06-05T14:47:00.000-02:30

I saw this on Jessica's Facebook, so I decided to steal it to kill some time before picking up my brother from school.

MOUTHOLOGY

Q. What is your salad dressing of choice?
A. Russian

Q. What is your favorite fast food restaurant?
A. Louis Gee's Pizza (I think that counts)

Q. What is your favorite sit-down restaurant?
A. Aroma's

Q. On average, what size tip do you leave at a restaurant?
A. Whatever. It depends on the service. I have left very meager tips before.

Q. What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick off of?
A. Chicken. Heck, I do it already.

Q. What are your pizza toppings of choice?
A. I like the works, but at Louis Gee's I always just get the Bacon and Pepperoni.

Q. What do you like to put on your toast?
A. Butter. Sometimes I do the jam thing.

Q. What is your favorite kind of gum?
A. Juicy Fruit

TECHNOLOGY

Q. Number of contacts in your cell phone?
A. I Don't have a Cell Phone.

Q. Number of contacts in your email address book?
A. 30-40

Q. What is your wallpaper on your computer?
A. Transformers. It's a black background with the Autocon Symbol, and the date for the movie.

Q. How many televisions are in your house?
A. 5 (only 2 for watching TV)

BIOLOGY

Q. Are you right-handed or left-handed?
A. Right

Q. What’s your best feature?
A. I'd be great to hide behind if somebody needed to ...

Q. Have you ever had anything removed from your body?
A. Yes.

Q. Which of your five senses do you think is keenest?
A. Hearing probably.

Q. When was the last time you had a cavity?
A. None yet, but I think one is inevitable.

Q. What is the heaviest item you lifted last?
A. Bringing yard sale stuff to the Church.

Q. Have you ever been knocked unconscious?
A. No. Hopefully I will be sometime in the future though.

BULLSHITOLOGY

Q. If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?
A. Sure. It'd also be cool to see if you could avoid it or not. It'd be an experiment in predestination.

Q. Is love for real?
A. Yep.

Q. If you could change your name, what would you change it to?
A. This is something I think about a lot. Recently it's been Romulus Shepard King.

Q. What color do you think looks best on you?
A. It seems that a combination of Army-Green and White looks good, but I'm not exactly an expert on these things.

Q. Have you ever swallowed a non-food item by mistake?
A. Probably.

Q. Have you ever saved someone’s life?
A. I don't think so.

Q. Has someone ever saved yours?
A. I'm not sure, but I wouldn't be surprised. But if you look through history, there are a lot of things that could have happened differently, which would end in my not being born. But I don't think that counts.

DAREOLOGY

Q. Would you walk naked for a half mile down a public street for $100,000?
A. Sure.

Q. Would you kiss a member of the same sex for $100?
A. Why not?

Q. Would you allow one of your little fingers to be cut off for $200,000
A. Uuh, that would take some thinking.

Q. Would you never blog again for $50,000?
A. Sure. =(

Q. Would you pose naked in a magazine for $250,000?
A. Probably not.

Q. Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000?
A. Agh, I hate Hot Sauce. I'd probably give it a shot.

Q. Would you, without fear of punishment, take a human life for $1,000,000?
A. Probably not. The real punishment is psychological anyways.

Q. Would you give up watching television for a year for $25,000?
A. Perhaps. $25 000 is about 2 years of MUN ...

DUMBOLOGY

Q: What is in your left pocket?
A: Car/House keys and my iPod shuffle.

Q: Is Napoleon Dynamite actually a good movie?
A: It's okay. It's a special kind of movie.

Q: Do you have hardwood or carpet in your house?
A: Both. Hardwood mostly on main level, carpet everywhere else.

Q: Do you sit or stand in the shower?
A: Stand. There's no place to sit.

Q: Could you live with roommates?
A: Sure. Even if they were bad roommates, I think I could deal.

Q: How many pairs of flip flops do you own?
A: Nada.

Q: Where were you born?
A: The oldest City in North America: St. John's, Newfoundland.

Q: Last time you had a run-in with the cops?
A: Don't recall. I've been noticing that there are a lot more driving around these days though.

Q: What do you want to be when you grow up?
A: That's the question isn't it? I'd like to be maybe a teacher or a pastor or something, but really I'll just take what comes.

LASTOLOGY

Q: Friend you talked to?
A: Renée on MSN

Q: Last person you called?
A: Dad. I was in a panic because I couldn't find my passport.

Q: Person you hugged?
A: Mom. Aside from that hugs are far and few between.

FAVORITOLOGY

Q: Number?
A: 13

Q: Color?
A: Orange

Q: Season?
A: Fall

CURRENTOLOGY

Q: Missing someone?
A: Missing a lot of people. The MUN crowd mostly.

Q: Mood?
A: Meh. A bit excited and happy about going on Thursday, but otherwise just "whatever"

Q: Listening to?
A: Nothing (Just turned off Prozzäk =P)

Q: Watching?
A. Nothing.

Q: Worrying about?
A: A family situation. (Vague enough? =P)

RANDOMOLOGY

Q: First place you went this morning?
A: Home (slept at Dad's)

Q: What can you not wait to do?
A: Hang out with people in North Carolina.

Q: What’s the last movie you saw?
A: Pirates of The Caribbean probably.

Q: Do you smile often?
A: I try to.

Q: Are you a friendly person?
A: I think I am a lot of the time.

Q: Now that the surveys done what are you going to do?
A: Turn on my music, pick up my brother from school, eat a little bit more, and then go to Wal*Mart to exchange some too-small shirts.

Let others know a little more about yourself! Repost this as your name followed by “ology

Microsoft Surface

2007-06-03T21:42:00.000-02:30

Microsoft just won about ten thousand cool points from me. Check it.

When I saw this, my immediate thought was how I could make the required ten thousand dollars before the release in November. But they probably won't even be available in good old Newfieland by then anyways.

Still ... neatness, don't you think so? These are the days that make me realize that the future is here.

They say that in 3-5 years they'll be a viable option for the home. I so wish Apple was the first one to get this stuff out ... but what can you do?

On a related note: I've decided that if the fabled Mac Tablet ever sees release, I'll sell my soul to secure one.

Why Does It Happen This Way?

2007-06-02T16:23:00.000-02:30

Okay. So I just finished watching (finally) the Season finale of Jericho, a new CBS program that dealt with the aftermath of a Nuclear attack on America. It wasn't the most terrific show in the world ... the acting left something to be desired, and the stories were cliche in some places. But the premise was pretty neat, and it's flaws were bearable.

In the last few episodes Jericho had just begun to go to war with a neighboring town called New Bern. Favorite line of the series: "I am about to go to war with New Bern, Kansas, the home of the nearest Costco. Today is already about as wierd as I can handle, I'm not asking any more questions." From Johnston Green.

I was sort of getting into the war fever. The characters on either side had met before, some were friends. A telling line was when a certain character (don't remember who) said something along the lines of "Six months ago, there was a bitter Football rivalry between our High Schools. Now we're going to shoot at each-other."

So it was a bitter necessity to be fighting like that. The tension you could get into. You sort of grimmance when either one of them is staring down the barrel of the gun. The season ends before the war really gets into full swing, right after throwing a wrench into the works that should change everything. I get excited for the next season ...

Then I find out it's been canceled. Well, crap.

Like I said, it wasn't the most amazing show out there, so I can see why it would be canceled instead of perhaps another show. But I would have guessed it had been doing decent ... 10 million American viewers each week. Is that not enough? I don't really know about these things, so perhaps it isn't.

Anyways, I hope they find some way to tie up that terrible bloody cliffhanger that they left me to chew on. A movie would be great, but unlikely. I'll take a book, if it's written well. Heck, continue the series in novels. That'd be a series I could get into.

I've gotten into Major League Soccer ... a North American soccer league. There is only one Canadian team, and they only joined this year ... Toronto FC plays the Colorado Rapids tonight at 5:00. Toronto hasn't been doing to stellar (2 wins, 5 losses, 1 tie). Hopefully tonight will go Toronto's way.

I'm Back

2007-05-27T01:15:00.000-02:30

My last night in Haiti was probably one of the most awesome ... literally awe-filled ... nights in recent memory. It began with having a pile of candy to hand out on Mom's behalf. I knew there were a few people on the roof, so I went up. I offered, and I left.

After my candy-running errand was over, I went up to the roof again, knowing that people would still be there. Most of the Integrate team eventually made it up to the roof, laying down and looking up through a cloudless patch of sky. The stars weren't out in full-force there either. I remember marveling at how so many stars get filtered out by the tiniest light. But it was Haiti. I lay back with the rest of the crowd, and just enjoyed the cool night air, and the black star-dotted sky.

Eventually I was alone on the roof. Strange how solitude can be so comforting. That's something I think I've been missing since St. John's. As strange as it sounds. In September my solitude was my hell. But by the end of my second term, solitude was something I enjoyed to an extent. I could have taken less of it, but I stopped wishing for none of it.

In Haiti, I didn't have my iPod. I didn't bring it for fear using it, more than loosing it. On that roof I started to hum to myself. I couldn't remember any songs other than the Chorouses Awesome God, and Let it Rain. I had never liked the latter before the trip, but one day when some heavy rain was pounding down, one of the guys jokingly sang a line. I couldn't get it out of my mind the whole time afterwards.

Let it rain, let it rain.
Open the floodgates of Heaven.

I must have hummed and sang that chorus to myself more than a hundred times on the roof.

Then fireworks started.

At first I didn't know what was happening, and was scared for it. I was in a different part of the world, sitting on a roof, on a quiet night in a troubled city. I was staring off into the distance, when the clouds flashed Red. Red again. More red.

I wouldn't have been so frightened if they had started with the blue quicker. I turned around and saw clouds being even more intensely colored. I decided the commotion was over there. I figured by that time that it was fireworks or pyrotechnics or something. It was around midnight, and Friday was the Haitian Flag Day. I watched for a while longer, and fireworks began to explode over the treetops. There were a few hills between the celebration area and where I was, and only the top halves of the firework blooms were visible, but they were still fun to watch.

In retrospect, I sort of wish we could have been there celebrating with the people in Port Au Prince. If anyone deserves to celebrate their national identity, it's the Haitians. It's the second independent nation from the new world, right behind the U.S. And the U.S. didn't go from Oppression to Hardship-filled Freedom.

I eventually went down from the roof, and journaled for the last time in Haiti. As an aside, I haven't even picked up the journal again yet, despite my vow to journal my whole summer. The power had gone out in the guest house, and the night-guy brought a candle up to lend some light to the darkened hallway. I talked with him briefly, but the conversation didn't really move beyond "The generator is broken." and "Thats bad." He was telling me that it wouldn't be possible for it to be repaired until well into the next day.

After some advice for us to open the shutters from my window before going to sleep, the man went downstairs, and I sat down by the candle. It was the only light I could find, so I just journaled there. When Melissa went to bed, she offered me her light, but I declined. The candle was nice. It was like the washing-clothes-by-hand thing. It was great fun and something I wanted to do. If I had known I would have to do that from then on, it would have lost it's appeal, but for then it was something different. Living a different reality.

Tonight I had a sort of bridge-across-time experience. I walked to and from Scott's in the cool air. I was listening to my music. When I got home I went out back and sat down on a bench. I looked up at the stars. I looked across at my city. I could see more lights tonight than I did in Port Au Prince, which is 50 times the size of Corner Brook. I'll blame that on rolling hills being in the way in Haiti, but I know there are other factors.

I wish I could get that feeling on-demand. It's time to make good on the promise I made myself. But that doesn't need to be addressed here.

Tonight was just a good night. Nights like this lend me the resolve I need.

A year from now, I will be in a better place.

A Conflict

2007-05-24T23:23:00.000-02:30

I've never really minded too much when my lungs asserted themselves. Honestly, it's probably because they've been fixing my mistakes all along the way. Well, as far as breathing goes.

You see, the only times that my lungs have forcibly taken control of themselves is after I've done something stupid, such as trying to hold my breath for a minute. Or like that time I tried to run to school after watching 300. Half way through my lungs just screamed "STOP, YOU FOOL!" My lungs then spent five minutes breathing heavily, trying to suck in more oxygen. "Sorry" my brain said. "It was Testosterone's idea, not mine. He said we should be more manly. Men run. So I decided we should run."

My lungs were too busy working to fix the mistake to discuss the matter. And like good body parts do, they rendered control of my mobility over to my legs and brain shortly after the oxygen deficit had been corrected. Perhaps my brain had caught the look in the lungs' eyes. "Foolish boys." Not wanting to disappoint, the brain made sure to take care of the lungs for a while after that, making sure they never had to work too hard. I guess it was sort of like the brain trying to make up for the trouble it had caused.

The lungs probably would have done a better job running my body than my brain has done. But the lungs only really took over when the situation was so far out of hand. The lungs are great like that. The brain could learn a thing or two about sensibility and sensitivity.

The stomach in recent days has been a different case, however. Between mouth, brain and stomach, there has been a pretty drawn out war of attrition.

Upon my body's arrival back from Haiti, a bug had been setting in. Stomach was kicking up a fuss, like a good internal organ should, I suppose. But mouth was also making demands. After two weeks away from McDonalds, Louis-Gee's Pizza, and other such Canadian goodies, it had been declared that "There will be no negotiations with Stomach on this matter." Brain initially sided with mouth on this, despite the close alliance between Stomach and Bowels, and the possible havoc that unholy union could wreak.

The decision was made: "Mouth, eat what you will, and share that pleasure with Brain. Stomach will sort out it's own affairs. Once Stomach decides to get it's act together and join in on the enjoyment, Stomach will bring Bowels back into the fold as well."

Well Stomach and Bowels have shown themselves to have some lasting power. While Stomach has been actively rocking the boat almost every moment of every day, Bowels have been acting similarly, asserting it's will over the rest of the body by putting in urgent calls every hour or so. Brain was heard to remark that it was good luck that Bladder hadn't been drawn into this whole conflict.

The whole conflict has sort of gone into a whole feedback loop as well. With Bowels being as contrary as he is, Nose (close friend to mouth) has gotten involved, further agitating Stomach.

Therefore Brain has made a change in policy, hoping to find a lasting peace. Mouth will have to curb it's appetite for as long as Stomach is on the outs. Stomach will give this plan a few days to try it out. If Stomach manages to get his act together quickly, he will help reign in Bowels. Until then, Bowels will likely be indirectly affecting Stomach through Nose.

Lungs have stayed silent during the whole ordeal so far, despite some assumed agitation that Bowels were causing (Nose and Lungs are also quite close diplomatically). On the whole, Lungs seem to be enjoying the fact that Brain, and Testosterone are not collaborating.

Lungs could only wish Brain was similarly occupied more often.

The Golden Compass

2007-05-23T09:01:00.000-02:30

So, I had never even heard of this book until this morning. But I just watched the trailer, did some wikipedia-ing, and now I'm excited.

Check it.

Vialet

2007-05-22T23:11:00.000-02:30

I just did a pretty dumb thing. I laid down to rest at about 5:30, and didn't wake up until 11:oo. I'm not going to be able to sleep.

Luckily, I awoke vividly remembering my time in Vialet: a small community about the size of Corner Brook a 45 minute drive away from Petit Goave, in Haiti.

Specifically I was remembering a little girl. I don't really remember her face at all. There were so many children. The face I keep remembering her with is wrong: it's one of the two girls I dubbed "The cutest two little girls on Earth." I certainly don't remember her name. If I had ever asked (which I'm sure I didn't), I had a hard enough time remembering the four or five working men's names over a week period.

Somebody made the joking observation that there were no two kids with the same names in Haiti. I believe it. From seemingly common names like John, to awesome names like Romulus, and the even more crazy Messiah. There might have been doubles though. When you ask a name, you're never quite sure if they're going to give you their name, their family name, a nickname, or something else.

Anyways. The girl. I remember she was wearing a dirty white undershirt. Some sort of shorts or pants or something. I don't remember that so vividly, other than the fact that she was wearing pants. I was paying attention to that. It seems that only little boys are allowed to run around pants-less. With four or five exceptions. And this girl wasn't one of them.

I didn't remember what day it was, but it must have been a Tuesday. A crowd of us who hadn't seen the marketplace on Saturday went to check it out. With the exception of four or five women selling charcoal, the main marketplace was empty. Near the road people were selling fruits, drinks, and other "marketplace" things.

During our entire walk through Vialet, we had a steady flow of children following us. I don't remember this specifically, but if every other day of the trip was an indication, they were pointing at us, laughing, and yelling "Blanc! Blanc!" White is exotic, it seems.

I turned around to look at the kids following us, and caught the eye of this little girl in the dirty white undershirt. She was following close behind me, and watching my every step. I decided I would try to be silly, and I began to walk funny, with sweeping arm movements, and a dramatic knee dip in the middle of every step. She tried to mimic, but couldn't mimic and keep pace at the same time. She looked at me. She looked at the other local kids. She was giggling hysterically. Everybody was laughing at everything and everybody else. White his hilarious, it seems.

We got back to the church, and a crowd just hung around near the gate. There was no reason for them not to come in, but they just waited out there in the road around the massive sheet metal door. They must have been shy or something. The Canadians had sort of stopped working for the most part, and were hanging about with each other, and with the children. But the kids in the road wouldn't come in. White is intimidating, it seems.

Another encounter might have been after the market experience, or before. I don't exactly remember. The girls and boys had been separated to do their crafts for children's ministry. I was sitting among a group of boys trying to show them how to do an Elephant stick puppet. I was frustratedly demanding "Regarde! Regarde!" but in retrospect I'm not entirely sure I was saying it right. Vialet didn't have a school either. The kids present might never have learned French.

Anyways. I was gluing together a kid's Elephant for him, and half a dozen hands were constantly demanding my attention, showing Elephants with noses for ears and tongues for eyes. The boys' eyes were inquisitive. At first all I had said was "Non, non, Regarde!" I was laughing in my head at the silly boys. I had joked after about how bad their Elephants were. But really, even if they had listened, they would not have been much better. I never could get Sunday school kids to follow instructions in English. How much more-so when they only understand Creole.

After a while I stopped trying to fix their mistakes. Another kid would hold up an Elephant and I'd hold up my thumbs. "Bon! Bon!" As I began to realize that these kids were exactly like the kids back home, I began to mean it.

I had just stood up from the ground from where I was sitting, surrounded by boys and their Elephants, when I saw a sad little girl in an immaculate white dress. The girls had made little flower necklaces instead of Elephants, and the center of her flower, a shiny jewel-like thing you buy from the buck-or-two in bulk, had fallen off. Her mother, or her older sister, or somebody, had brought her to Jen or another girl on the team.

Half a second with a Popsicle stick and glue, and the flower was fixed. The girl was beaming. She was sticking her flower-adorned chest out so far it was almost parallel with the ground. She looked so happy. She went to run around with the other girls. I saw her later and the jewel had fallen off again. She didn't seem to notice.

Oh, also, it was about that time that I declared the girl in the white dress "one of the two most beautiful little girls earth." The other one was wearing a pink dress with flowers on it. I think I might have pictures of the both of them, which I'll post later if I do.

Haiti is just beginning to hit me. My last night there was probably the most incredible night for the past year. Maybe I'll post on that later too.

A Promise for Later

2007-05-22T13:25:00.000-02:30

Even before going to Haiti, my bloggage was lacking. I'm not going to change that now. It's too bad how I get ready to write something here, but then something spoils my mood, or I get distracted. It's my own fault I suppose.

Anyhoo, soon. Sometime this week I'll post on Haiti. I might just type sections of my journal here. That would be quick and easy.

Haiti

2007-05-03T17:12:00.000-02:30

Tonight I'm heading off to Haiti. It's going to be a great experience.

If Haiti implodes due to problems relating to an excess of awesomeness, this is my official apology.

Hopefully I'll be able to take some pictures, and post them once I'm back. That's if I come back! Hah.

Good times.

2007-04-28T00:14:00.000-02:30

I am totally ordering a hundred copies of this tract.

"If YOU believe in Evolution instead of Jesus, you'll end up in hell."

Not.

=====

Note: I do agree that if you believe in Evolution instead of Jesus, you're in the wrong. But this whole tract makes Evolution and Jesus to appear mutually exclusive.

And that is damned nonsense.

Yes. Literally damned.

As in ... to hell.

Petit Goave

2007-04-24T13:57:00.000-02:30

Next Tuesday

My Summer

2007-04-24T00:14:00.000-02:30

This summer looks like it'll be one to remember.

I think I've mentioned before that my Mother and I are going to Haiti on a Short Term Mission with the Ontario Great Lakes Division of the Salvation Army. Excitement hasn't exactly reached a fevered pitch yet, but it's certainly mounting. I can't wait to get down there.

I hate when people trumpet their own good deeds. "How good of a person am I?" is what I hear. But I seriously don't even see this trip like that. The buzzword for the group has been "Integrated Mission." We're going moreso to learn than anything else. And that's perfectly fine for me.

I just got an email today too, letting me know that I was accepted to another camp. It looks like I might actually be going to this one, afterwards, which is wicked.

But as soon as I realize this, the gravity hits me that I'm not going to get to spend as much of the summer with Corner Brook friends as I had hoped. I guess that's the nature of the beast, if I'm going to do the camp thing, but ... it's a little bit depressing. I hate the fact that I sort of tried to reject them in High School, and they've never even mentioned it. Here I am again, leaving these guys that I want to hang out with every night for the next three months.

Agh, sometimes I feel like a crappy friend. In my clamor to get away, and to see, to experience, I've left people behind.

It sucks.

And yeah, I'm realizing that this blog has turned out to be a bit of a patchwork. I mean, not the worst ever, but not exactly unified, you know? Maybe I'll work on that later, but this is the third draft I've done up tonight, and I'm posting something, I don't care how bad it is.

Samstag Nacht

2007-04-21T20:39:00.000-02:30

Oh my! This comic (from xkcd) can be used to chronicle my Saturday night.

And right now, I wouldn't have it any other way.

Also, today was spent cleaning Mom's car. Mom gave me $20 and told me I could bring it to the car wash, or clean it myself (and keep the $20).

So I cleaned the car, and bought some iTunes moolah. I proceeded to download one of Relient K's older albums, Two Lefts Don't Make a Right ... But Three Do, since I so enjoyed their most recent Five Score and Seven Years Ago. I've only given it two listens through yet, but I'm enjoying it almost as much.

I finished my Star Wars book on Friday morning, and proceeded to pick up the next book in the series. So far I've only gotten through the prologue, but I'm sort of warming up to Troy Denning again. He's responsible for a major change to the Star Wars Universe that hurt me more than the death of my first dog. If anybody has read Star by Star, you know what I mean. It's a trust issue that's taking some time to deal with, but with The Joiner King, the healing has begun.

EDIT: I understand now! I may or may not have told the story before of ordering a "Pepperoni Pizza" while in Rome, Italy. I got a Pizza with cheese, and Peppers. That's because (apparently) "Peperoni" is the plural form of "Peperone" the Italian word for bell peppers! Which leads me to the question:

"How the heck did the 'spicy Italian-American variety of dry salami' come to be known as 'Pepperoni'?"

Missing MAD Parties

2007-04-19T20:42:00.000-02:30

Foiled by Facebook again!

I checked myself some Facebook today, and saw that Jillian's MAD end-of-semester party was scheduled for Yesterday. I thought it was today, and had set aside everything from 6:00 onward for moping, and weeping, since I could not attend.

Furthermore, Facebook decided to add to my depression. Pictures tell the tale of good times had by all. Curse you Facebook! Curse you Good Times©! I meant to take all happiness with me when I came home, but couldn't bear myself to leave St. John's with four months of darkness. I leave a bit behind, and what do they do, but use it all up on one night!

In other news, I got my first rabies shot today, as well as my first typhoid shot, not to mention got my malaria pills as well! Oh boy! Tomorrow I'm going to learn to walk through fire without getting burned, and the next day we'll toughen my skin so that bullets will never penetrate! Justice League, here I come!

In the meantime, I started reading a Star Wars book yesterday, and have reached page 350 (2/3 done the first book in a trilogy) as of right now. I thought that was pretty amazing, considering I was having trouble reading anything at all in St. John's. Must be the whole home thing.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to start preparing a snack for Survivor. I haven't seen anything this season, but hopefully it won't be to hard to get into.

Home

2007-04-18T01:09:00.001-02:30

I sit here at my kitchen table. In Corner Brook.

Dad and I came over the highway on Sunday. There's just something about coming home. The way the highway enters Corner Brook ... there's no way to not be inspired. It was a clear night, and seeing the lights made me quite happy.

There's something that St. John's just didn't have. Or rather, it did have. It was claustrophobic. You can look out into the distance and see the hills, or another building or whatever, but nothing meaningful. When I go into "my" Tim Horton's here, though, you can see so much. You can see everything.

I've been thinking over the past day or so, about my friends from St. John's, and elsewhere. I want to show them this place so much. Corner Brook rocks. This isn't some revelation, or grand wisdom that University life has taught me. It's like when you're cold for a long time, and then come into the heat. It means so much more to be room temperature after being cold, than if you were room temperature the whole time.

In other news, the wicked summer plans that I had have gone straight down the tubes without much more than a whimper. I expected as much, but had held out. I would like to make it clear that I do not believe this is the right decision, but I'm going to have to live with it. It's done now. Time to make the most of the latest shovelful of crap.

It's Raining Men

2007-04-13T23:45:00.000-02:30

Oh my goodness.

I just had to share this.

Now back to my paper. I can procrastinate later.

Exam Time (Seriously, you Guys)

2007-04-12T11:41:00.000-02:30

I'm actually buckling down for exam time.

I'm 70% done my Philosophy paper, and haven't started my Religious studies yet. I've got a German exam at 3 today, and I've been doing flash cards since 10 this morning. Brief break for some web-surfing and lunch later. Then another 2 hours of study, do the test, and start reading for Psychology.

Hopefully I won't have to do any paper writing on Saturday, but that's my spill day. I have no plans for the afternoon, so if I need extra time for work, that's it. After supper some people are coming over for Risk! too. Exiting times much?

I can't wait to have complete control over my reading schedule for 4 months. I just picked up two books which I am excited to start once I plow through the stack I've got now. I bought Søren Kierkegaard's Fear and Trembling, and Herodotus' The Histories, which (among other things) re-accounts the Greco-Persian war. Awesome!

Not sure where the summer will take me yet. It looks like I can do the camp thing if I want the job, but 5 weeks of employment isn't going to be very much money. I hate to make it about the money of course, but that's a big deal since I've got to pay part of my own way next year.

Anybody know of a place that will hire me for one month? (May 27th - June 23rd) Hey, it's worth a shot asking.

Book Reading

2007-04-08T23:08:00.000-02:30

This past New Year's (actually, about a week or two late) I decided to make a resolution to kick my butt in gear.

My goal has been to read 50 books in the year. Almost a book per week.

So far I'm a bit behind. I just finished my eleventh.

As a sort of Part II to the resolution is something that I saw on Joel's Blog around New Year's time as well. It was a list of the books he had read the previous year. I thought that was neat, and quickly added this part to my New Year's 'resolution.'

I'm bursting at the seams. I'm proud of my reading so far, but I'm trying to keep myself from blogging the list before December 31st.

What can I say? It's exciting!

I will tell you, though, that I really did not enjoy plowing through my last English novel in two days. It wasn't even a particularly spectacular novel anyways.

English is done forever tomorrow. I think I'll go in early and start work on my two essays due this week as well. Maybe read some Psychology. Perhaps finish another book or two that have been waiting for my school reading list to clear up.

Oh my goodness guys. Summer is almost here. My reading schedule will be mine again for a whole four months! Excitement abounds!

Sunday

2007-04-08T16:11:00.000-02:30

Apollo Sunshine tells everybody "If that grass looks fun to roll in, then roll in that fun grass."

Languages

2007-04-07T19:58:00.000-02:30

I've been thinking about Languages, and I thought it would be an excuse for a list.

Languages I'd like to learn and would likely use:
Hebrew
Ancient Greek
Latin

Languages I'd like to learn and might use:
German
Mandarin
Japanese
Russian
French

Languages I'd like to learn but would likely not use:
Arabic
Aramaic

That was actually quite anti-climactic.

I'm beginning to wonder if aspiring to continue German and take up Ancient Greek and Hebrew next year is a bad idea. Especially since both of the new languages would require new alphabets as well.

Who am I kidding? I'm never going to really learn any of these, am I? I'm going to work at Pizza Delight until I retire with a crumbling Philosophy degree behind my couch somewhere.

Perspective

2007-04-06T00:01:00.000-02:30

I enjoy searching for perspective. It makes me realize how huge reality really is. As I eat, I wonder what somebody in Japan might be doing. I take a shower and wonder how many Germans are coughing at that exact moment. I lay down to sleep and contemplate what somebody in India is going to do.

And then I look at history. The 'This Day In History' columns, and wonder if exactly fifty seven years ago somebody had wondered about somebody else wondering fifty seven years before him. I wonder who stood where I'm standing five years before. I wonder what news somebody could have been hearing a thousand years prior.

One thousand nine hundred and seventy seven years ago at this moment, a Rabbi prayed in a garden called Gethsemane. What blades of grass caught his tears? Who smelled the flowers that had smelled him? Could one of those flowers have become a gift to somebody not involved in the drama? Did they become involved later? Did their descendants know about that flower from Gethsemane? More importantly, did they ever hear about what happened in Gethsemane one thousand nine hundred and seventy seven years before this moment?

Holy crap guys.

Reality is huge.

EDIT: It has been pointed out that easter might not have occurred exactly 1977 from today. I overlooked the fact that Easter has to do with the lunar calendar, so it might not be an exact 1977 solar years. But you get the point.

It has gotten me wondering if anybody has tried to find the exact solar date of the first Easter. It'd kind of be neat to know.

Giant Kwiz

2007-04-05T18:48:00.000-02:30

Because I haven't done one of these in a while, I'll rip this off of Specker's notes on Facebook.

Start Time: 18h49

001. What is your name?
Joshua Thompson
002. Spell your name backwards:
Nospmoht Auhsoj
003. Date of birth:
December 20th 1988
004. Male or female?
Male
005. Astrological sign:
Sagittarius
006. Nicknames:
King Bob, Lunchbox, Tonnes of Fun, Jeremy, Toby
007. Job:
None right now
008. Height:
Near 6'
009. Weight:
Near 250 lbs
010. Hair color:
Brown
011. Eye color:
Blue
012. Where were you born?
St. John's
013. Where do you reside now?
Home is Corner Brook, but I'm currently in St. John's
014. Where do you go to school?
Memorial University of Newfoundland
015. Screen names:
King Bob v3
016. E-mail addy:
kingbobv3ATgmailDOTcom
017. What does your screen name stand for?
King Bob was a nickname Kyle accidentally gave me in grade 8
018. What is your lj name?
Don't have Livejournal
019. What does your Blurty name stand for?
Don't have Blurty
020. Pets:
Smokeypoozer Lucky Thompson
021. Number of candles you blew out on your last birthday cake?
18, I guess.
023. Tattoo's?
None right now. Maybe someday.
024. Shoe size:
Not sure. 12 maybe?
025. Righty or lefty?
Righty.
026. Wearing:
Universal T-shirt, Salvation Army working shirt, and Jeans
027. Hearing:
Housemate's music (I just turned on my own, though)
028. Feeling:
Tired, contemplative
029. Eating/drinking:
Just had an Aero Bar and glass of Pepsi

GIRLS/LOVE/KISSING/AND ALL THAT OTHER STUFF
030. Have you ever been in love?
Storge: Yes
Phillia: Yes
Eros: Not so much
Agapē: Yes
031. How many people have you told "I love you"?
Are you supposed to count that or something?
032. How many people have you been in love with?
Eros: I'll say none, though sometimes I've made the mistaking Storge for Eros
033. Does someone in your family wear a toupee?
Don't think so. And that was really random, going from love to toupees like that.
034. Do you have any nieces or nephews?
Nope, but I've got young cousins that probably work the same
035. Are your parents divorced?
Seperated.
036. Do you have step parents?
Noperz.
037. Has your family ever disowned another member of your family?
Not that I know of ...
038. If so for what?
Eeh, they might disown me for being so foolish some day.
039. Did some of your family come to America from another country?
Thompson = Tompson, which is apparently Scottish. My full ancestry I don't know.

MUSIC STUFF
040. What song do you swear was written about you or your life?
I'm not quite sure. There have been a few that fit certain seasons of my life ... maybe I'll blog about it later.
041. What's the most embarrassing cd you own?
Pokemon the movie Soundtrack. It's not so bad ...
042. What's the best cd you own?
I dunno, obviously I like most of them ... can't say one is best, though I've listened to Jars of Clay's "Good Monsters" a lot since I've picked it up.
043. What song do you absolutely hate?
My humps? But see previous blog entry.
044. Do you sing in the shower?
I sing a lot when I think I'm alone. Not so much in the shower though.
045. What song reminds you of that special someone?
I don't even have a special someone, but Andy Hunter's Wonderful makes me think of her.

OKAY, I NAME AN ARTIST AND YOU TELL ME IF YOU LIKE THEM OR NOT!
046. Pink: Eeh
047. Aerosmith: Sure
048. Madonna: Whatever
049. Korn: Haven't heard much
050. Backstreet Boys: Sure
051. The Beatles: Sure
052. Sublime: Who?
053. J.Lo: Not so much
054. *Nsync: Sure
055. Limp Bizkit: Haven't heard much
056. Britney Spears: Eeh
057. Creed: Haven't heard much
058. Enrique Iglesias: Who?
059. Good Charlotte: Haven't heard much
060. Christina Aguilera: Haven't heard much
061. New Found Glory: Haven't heard much
062. Kelly Clarkston: Haven't heard much
063. Kelly Osbourne: Haven't heard any
064. Mandy Moore: Haven't heard any
065. Eve: Who?
066. Aaliyah: Who?
067. Nelly: Haven't heard much
068. Alicia Keys: Related to Captain Keys off of Halo?
069. Incubus: What I've heard I like

FAVORITES
070. Color:
Orange
071. Food:
Whatever. I want a steak right now though
072. Song:
Dunno. I like a lot
073. Show:
Battlestar Galactica right now.
074. School subject:
Philosophy
075. Band/singer:
I'll say Jars of Clay, but I don't really have a favorite
076. Animal:
Penguins
077. Outfit:
Dunno. My white T-shirt, Salvation Army working shirt and Black Jeans, I guess.
078. Radio station:
99.1 FM in St. John's. Whatever that is.
079. Movie:
Dunno. I'm thinking of Jurassic Park, Star Wars, and Va, vis et Devans
080. Pair of shoes:
My sneakers, but they're literally falling apart now.
081. Cartoon:
Gundam 08th MS Team
082. Actor:
I'll say Samuel L. Jackson
083. Actress:
... I don't know. Natalie Portman is the only name I can come up with right now.
084. Potato Chips:
Nacho Doritos (Though they're actually corn chips)
085. Drink:
Bawls
086. Alcholic drink:
Never Had
087. Holiday:
Perhaps New Years
088. Perfume/cologne:
I don't even know ...
089. Pizza topping:
The Works, though if it has to be one, I'll say green pepper (weird, I know)
090. Jello flavor:
Cherry or Strawberry.
091. Lunch meat:
Balogna (hah!)
092. Board game:
Risk!
093. Video game:
I'll say Call of Duty 2 right now, but I haven't played it in forever
094. Website:
Don't know. I'll say myextralife.com

*Where 95-176 went, I've no clue*

177. Book:
Agh, I don't know!! I've enjoyed reading Plato's Republic this term, but that's a bit too snooty to say as a favorite.
178. Computer game:
Umm, Curveball, but it's a flash game. And I don't have a link right now.
179. Number:
13
180. Cereal:
Cinnamon Toast Crunch
181. Comedian:
I really like the Pachelbel guy
182. Dessert:
Chocolate Eruption Cheesecake
183. Disney character:
Mufasa
184. Clothing store:
I'll say Hot Topic, but we don't have it in Canada
185. Passtime:
Web surfing, reading, doodling, watch movies/watch TV
186. Teacher:
Bernard Wills for now
187. Childhood toy:
Lego
188. Carnival game/ride:
Bronco
189. Candy bar:
Fusion (can't find them anywhere anymore)
190. Magazine:
Electronic Gaming Monthly or Newtype USA
191. Salad dressing:
Russian
192. Thing to do on the weekend:
Chill with friends
193. Hot drink:
Caramel Macchiato
194. Season:
Fall
195. Sport to watch:
What the world calls "Football," but I am forced to call "Soccer"
196. Person to talk to online:
There are a few. Maybe Zach Hynes

YOUR BEDROOM/ SLEEPING HABITS!
197. What color are your sheets?
Beige or something
198. What color are your bedroom walls?
At home they're bright Red.
199. Do you have posters on your wall?
Yes
200. If so of what?
One of Che Guvera and a quote on revolutionaries,
One of Einstein and different quotes from him,
One of Superman just being awesome
201. Do you have a tv in your bedroom?
Yep, but only for Games
202. How many pillows are on your bed?
3
203. What do you normally sleep in?
Boxerzz
204. Describe your favorite pair of pajamas:
They're red? Or Purple. Or something.
205. What size bed do you have?
Single
206. Do you have a waterbed/bunkbed/daybed?
Uuh, no?
207. Do you have your own phone line in your bedroom?
I have a phone, but not a separate line, no.
208. Do you listen to music while trying to fall asleep?
I did, but ... thin walls.
209. Describe the last nightmare you had:
I don't remember the last nightmare I had, but William Booth was probably in it
210. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?
Sort of. They sit on the headboard. They're too small for me to hug now =P
211. How many people can comfortably sleep in your bed?
I'm sure many more than I could guess
212. Do you sleep in any unusual positions?
I've woken up with my feet on the headboard before ... other than that, no, but I have to be hugging something like a pillow.
213. Do you have to share your bedroom with a sibling?
nope
214. Do you snore?
I don't think so, but if somebody would like to correct me ...
215. How about drool?
Don't think so.
216. Do you have an alarm clock in your room?
Yeah
217. What color is the carpet in your room?
Here a pinkish purple. Home it's blue.
218. What's under your bed?
Here my mattress is on the floor (frame broke), home I have drawers for socks, underwear, and a space where I hide my bookbag and toys (a la Legos =P)

THIS AND THAT?
219. beach/mountains: Mountains
220. Donuts/bagels: Donuts
221. Day/night: night
222. Wicked witch of the east/wicked witch of the west: I'm pretty sure the witch from the east was nice, so her.
223. Heaven/hell: Heaven
224. Make love/have sex: "Make Love" sounds better
225. Coffee/tea: I've had tea once. Coffee never.
228. Britney/Christina: Brittney, but only because she comes first alphabetically
229. Swiss cheese/American cheese: Swiss
230. Real World/Road Rules: uuh ...
231. Backstreet Boys/*Nsync: *Nsync
232. Silver/gold: Silver is cool
233. Nike/Adidas: Nike, but only because it means something more significant than "ADIDAS"
234. McDonalds/Taco Bell: Taco Bell
235. Sweet/sour: Sweet
236. Punk/emo: Whatever. Emo?
237. Hot/cold: Cooold
238. Winter/summer: Summer
239. Spring/fall: Fall
240. Operas/plays: Plays
241. Read/watch tv: Read, but I don't always have the motivation
242. Cd's/tapes: CD's
243. Dvd's/vhs: DVDs
244. Old/new: New
245. Shorts/skirts: All I'm saying is "I like a breeze"
246. Pink/red: Red
247. Colored pictures/black and white photos: B&W
248. Meat/vegetables: Meat.
249. Mexican food/chinese food: Mexican
250. Commercials/infomercials: Commercials
251. Scary movies/comedies: Comedies
252. Bikinis/one piece bathing suits: One pieces. I can't show off too much!
253. Sandals/tennis shoes: Tennis Shoes
254. Dogs/cats: Dogs
255. Unicorns/fairies: Faries
256. Water/land: Water
257. Sugar/spice: Sugar
258. Black/white: Black
259. ribbons/bows: Ribbons
260. Chicken/beef: Chicken
261. Colored Christmas lights/regular white Christmas lights: White
262. Cars/trucks: Cars
263. Austin Powers/James Bond: Austin ... sorry to diss the original
264. Popcorn/pretzels: Popcorn
265. Hip/hop: Hip
266. Passionate kiss/peck: Uuh ... peck, because it makes me think of chickens
267. WWE wrestling/real wrestling: WWE is more entertaining, though I watch neither
268. Back rub/foot massage: Back Rub.
269. Picture frames/photo albums: Albums
270. Pens/pencils: Pencils, and not them new-fangled mechanical ones neither! Why, when I was a boy ...

WHAT IS YOUR OPINION ON THE FOLLOWING
271. Eminem: I enjoy the style, not so much the message
272. Virgins: 42?
273. God: God is "The Good"
274. The Osbournes: Weren't they in Austin Powers?
275. Reality TV: Overdone now
276. J.Lo: Uuh ...
277. Religion: It's all about humility. (Religion - humility) = War
278. Emo music: Doesn't exist
279. Valentine's Day: Martyrs get ignored
280. Christina Aguilera's comeback: I'm happy for her?
281. Homosexuals: They do a better job at loving than many Christians
282. Abortion: Only excusable for medical reasons
283. Inter-racial relationships: I always get Chocolate Vanilla swirl soft serve ... so thumbs up
284. Murder: Not so good
285. Death: An individual evil, but a universal good.
286. Obesity: Not so fun
287. Pre-marital sex: It happens.
288. Terrorism: Understandable, but not excusable
289. Pornography: Enslaving
290. Fortune tellers: Not cool
291. Threesomes: It happens
292. Prostitution: It's sad
293. Politics: It's a lot more gross than it needs to be
294. Country music: not so bad
295. George W. Bush: Underrated (Not the best president ever, but come on people!)
296. Cloning: Neat stuff, but is a moral timebomb
297. Britney's boobs: ... produce milk?
298. Gas prices in America: ... are in American dollars.

THE NAME GAME:
(What Do You Think Of When You Hear These Common Names?)
299. Jack: Farm Animals
300. Tiffany: Breakfast
301. Ben: Jedi!
302. Maria: Red hair ...
303. Jennifer: Black hair ...
304. Nicole: Citadel
305. Amy: Vincent
306. Adam: Unique
307. Richard: Jerk
308. Justin: Time
309. Arnold: Governator
310. Tom: Alien Invasions
311. Melissa: Music
312. Charlotte: spider
313. Harold: Short and fat man wearing a trench coat. Wow, that was specific
314. John: Halo
315. Joel: Toronto
316. Vanessa: Veronica
317. Michelle: Pentecost
318. Kevin: Jello
319. Brent: Jacob
320. Jake: Spaceships
321. Billy: Wells
322. Sarah: Hatred
323. Natalie: Heidi
324. Christi: "Pax Christi"
325. Nick: $.05
326. Lindsay: Freckles
327. Taylor: Johnathan
328. Jordan: Andrew and "Gee Whiz!"
329. Jamie: Reba
330. Christian: A kid I once knew

HAVE YOU EVER?
331. Mooned anyone? Yes
332. Been on a diet? Sort of
333. Been to a foreign country? Yes
334. Broken a bone? No
335. Swallowed a tooth/cap/filling? Nope
336. Swear at a teacher? Yes
337. Talked to a lj member? Don't have Livejournal
338. Got in a fight? Yes
339. Dated a teacher? No
340. Laughed so hard you peed your pants? Yes
341. Thought about killing your enemies? Who is my enemy?
342. Gone skinny dipping? I don't think so, but I want to say yes for some reason
343. Met another Blurty member in the flesh? Don't have Blurty either
344. Told a little white lie? Yes
345. Told a secret you swore not to tell? Yep
346. Stolen anything? Nope
347. Misused a swear word and it sounded absolutely stupid? Yep
348. Been on TV? Yes
349. Been on the radio? No
350. Been in a mosh pit? Sort of
351. Been to a concert? Yes
352. Dated one of your best friends? It hasn't happened, not to say that I wouldn't
353. Loved someone so much it makes you cry? Not really
354. Deceived somebody close to you? Yep
355. Broken the law? Well, like, speeding.
356. Been to a rodeo? Nope
357. Been on a talk show? Nope
358. Been on a game show? Nope
359. Been on an airplane? Yep
360. Got to ride on a firetruck? Nope
361. Came close to dying? Probably not, but It sure felt like it
362. Cheated on a bf/gf? Yep
363. Gave someone a piggy back ride? Yep
364. Terrorized a babysitter? Probably
365. Made a mud pie? Yep
366. Had a dream that your falling off a cliff? On a regular basis
367. Snuck out of the house at night? Never had to
368. Been so drunk you don't remember your name? Nope
369. Had an eating disorder? Some might think so =P
370. Felt like you didn't belong? It happens
371. Felt like the 3rd wheel? Yep
372. Smoked? No
373. Done drugs? No
374. Been arrested? Never never
375. Had your tonsils removed? Nah-uh-uuh
376. Gone to camp? Yes
377. Won a bet? Sort of (no money, or less than fifty cents involved)
378. Written a love letter? Yep
379. Gone out of your way to be with the one you love? Again, if we're accepting the confusion of Storge for Eros, then yes.
380. Written a love poem? Yep (it was terrible)
381. Kissed in the rain? Nope
382. Slow danced with someone you love? If Storge replaces Eros, then yes.
383. Participated in cyber sex? ...
384. Faked an orgasm? Never had to. I mean, never ... agh, nevermind.
385. Stolen a kiss? Yerp (I'm an idiot, if you didn't already know)
386. Asked a friend for relationship advice? Yep
387. Had a friend steal your bf/gf? It was what I would call an 'associate', and what I would call an 'interest'
388. Watched the sunset/rise with someone you love? If Storge replaces Eros, then sort of
389. Gotten a speeding ticket? Nope
390. Done jail time? Nope
391. Had to wear a uniform to work? Yep
392. Won a trophy? Medals
393. Thrown up in public? Probably
394. Bowled a perfect game? Nope, but I've had some good games, let me tell you!
395. Failed/got held back? Nope
396. Got perfect attendance in grade school? Nope
397. Roasted pumpkin seeds? Nope
398. Taken ballet lessons? Nope
399. Attempted suicide? Not so much attempted. It only happened once.
400. Cut Yourself? By accident, yeah.

CHILDHOOD STUFF
401. Did you play with Barbies? Yes. I am ashamed.
402. Did you own Treasure Trolls? No
403. Did you watch Beverly Hills 90210? No
404. Did you play Simon? Simon Says? Yes.
405. Did you watch Fraggle Rock? I think so.
406. Did you wet the bed? Yes
407. Did you believe there were monsters in your closet or under your bed? No, but I had slightly more rational fears, like there being bats in my bookcase and the like.
408. Did you wear the underwear with the days of the week on them? No
409. Were you shy? I think so
410. Were you spoiled? Nope
411. Were you abused? No
412. Did you go to the circus? A few times
413. Did you go to the zoo? Yes
414. Were you in a car accident? Nope
415. Did you build snowmen? Yes
416. Did you cry when you scraped your knee? Yep
417. Were your older cousins mean to you? No, but I thought Jillian Sexton was mean growing up.
418. Did you think slinkies were cool? Oh yeah, but I always broke them
419. Did you think the Ninja Turtles really lived in the sewer? I wasn't allowed to watch the Ninja Turtles
420. Were you afraid of the dark? Yep. Still am to an extent
421. Did you have slumber parties? Sleepovers. Yes.
422. Did you have New Kids On The Block sheets, curtains, sleeping bags, dolls and pajamas? No. I think I heard them once.
423. Did you tease your hair out like Tiffany? Uuh, no.
424. Did you believe in the Easter Bunny/Santa Claus/ and the Tooth Fairy? This is written in the past tense ...

RANDOM
425. Do you believe in aliens? I believe there is no way we can prove the negative of Alien's Existence.
426. Name three things that are next to your computer: Wii, TV, Phone.
427. Do you have any hidden talents? I can stop time.
428. Do you wish MTV would play music videos? I don't watch MTV
429. If you were to star in a movie, what kind of movie would it be? Science Fiction all the way.
430. What would your movie star name be? Robert King
431. Do you play any sports? Not really.
432. What's the scariest movie you've ever seen? Can't remember.
433. What is the best movie you've seen in the theater or rented recently? 300
434. What is the dumbest movie you've ever seen? Can't name one
435. Do you drive? Yes, when I'm in Corner Brook
436. What is your dream car? I want a Smart Car.
437. Do you think your good looking? There are days that I finish my shower and think "I should go roll in garbage, because it might be dangerous to be this hot." There are other days that I think similar things, and am absolutely serious.
438. Do others think you are good looking? I dunno. I've been told I'm "not unattractive." Hahah!
439. Would you ever sky dive? Absolutely
440. Do you believe in Bigfoot? Didn't the guy who wore the suit come out about that a few years ago?
441. How many rooms do you have in your house? Here: 4 bedrooms. Home: 3 bedrooms. My fathers house on the other hand, has many rooms ...
442. Are you afraid of roller coasters? Yes, but I'd get on anyways.
443. Do you believe in God? Yes
444. Do you believe in Satan? Yes (Though the popular idea is wrong ... )
445. Do you believe there is a heaven? Yes (... the popular idea is also wrong here ...)
446. Do you believe there is a hell? Yes (... and here as well)
447. Do you own a pooltable? Nope
448. Do you have a pool? Nope
449. Do you have a dishwasher in your kitchen? Yep
450. Do you like chocolate? Yes
451. Who/what is on your 2007 calendar? I don't have one. Just the one on my computer.
452. How many U.S. states have you been to? Like ... 2?
453. Ever wished on a shooting star? yeah
454. Best Halloween costume you ever wore? A hobo. I can't wait for this year.
455. Do you carry any weapons on you? If I could carry a gun I would. But I have carried a knife on occasion no.
456. What is your weakness? Saying 'no' (if it's not a big deal)
457. Name something you can't get enough of: Socialization
458. Describe yourself in 3 adjectives: Annoying, Persistent, Silly
459. How many kids do you want to have? three or four (maybe more ... though I'm not the one pushing them out)
[[Despite only having half as many names on the list, if I had to choose between a son and a daughter it would be a daughter]]
460. Future daughter’s names: (in order of preference)
Kari is my all-time favourite girl's name
Sophie is nice too
461. Future son’s names: (in order of preference)
Seamus is awesome
Robert is cool
Alex is neat
Maxwell is wicked
462. What is your ideal way to die?
Anything that's quick. When I first read the question I imagined getting shot, but that's hardly ideal ...
463. How do you release stress?
I don't really get stressed, so I'll answer this for anger: I'd like to yell and/or punch things, but I just grit my teeth and make fists. Pushups sometimes.
464. Are you a trendy person? Nope
465. Are you an artisitic person? Sure, why not?
466. Are you a realistic person? I like to pretend I'm a realistic Idealist, but I don't think those actually exist.
467. Do you un-tie your shoes every time you take them off? Nope
468. Are you a strong person? I like to think so
469. Are you a strong willed person? Again, I like to think so, but in reality probably not.
470. Who is the last person to e-mail you? My English Prof (Marc Hollett)
471. Who is the last person to IM you? Adam Stevenson
472. Do you hate chain e-mails? Typically yes, but I wish I'd get more sometimes.
473. Are you a deep sleeper? Yeah. Canadian Olympic Sleeping Champion 2008, right here.
474. Are you a good story teller? Not really
475. What do you believe is your best quality? I don't know
476. What is your greatest accomplishment? I don't know, really.
477. Do you like to burn candles or incense? I like to. That's not to say I do it often.
478. Do you do yoga? Tai Chi is cooler.
479. Do you have your own credit card? Nope
480. Let's say you win the lotto? Okay, let's say that.
481. Do you have a check book? no
482. Do you like your driver? I have a driver? Heck, let's fire him, and I'll keep his salary for myself.
483. Do you tan easily? I'm pretty sure I burn
484. What color is your hair naturally? Brown
485. How many fillings do you have? None
486. How many cavities did you have at your last dentist visit? Zero
487. Worst feeling in the world? Loneliness
488. Best feeling in the world? Knowing that somebody you care about deeply cares about you.
489. Is the glass half empty or half full? I am master over this survey, and I have chosen that I hate this question. Rather than striking it down, I will answer it nonsensically: "Cats"
490. Last thing you downloaded? Episode of Gundam SEED Stargazer, but that's months ago, now.
491. Do you catch yourself using online terms in your real life? I do it on purpose, which is funny since I never use abbreviations on MSN or forums
492. What do you think people think of you? I used to think people thought I was a cool guy, but now I don't know.
493. Are you a likeable person? I used to think so, but I'm not sure.
494. Do you need therapy? Not anymore! I mean ... oops.
495. Do you take medication for a chemical imbalance? Nope
496. What the best way to be proposed to? In a language that both parties understand.
497. What kind of movie would you star in? Sci-Fi. Honestly, weren't you paying attention around question 429? Come on, get with it!
498. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP? See the first part of answer 489, and replace the second part with "12"
499. When are you moving? Soon.
500. What's your favorite phrase? "And then the farmer's wife came out in her pajaymas and an old straw hat and said 'now, I figured it was the horse, and not the pig!'" (I think that's what it is. I'll ask dad later)

Time Ended: 20h51

What a waste of life. Now I'm going to go read my stinking book.

My Humps

2007-04-04T19:51:00.000-02:30

This is ridiculously hilarious.

I never liked the song to begin with. But this style really makes me realize how insanely stupid the lyrics to this song are.

Ich hasse Englisch, sehen Sie?

2007-04-04T00:58:00.000-02:30

I hate English

A quick translation note. I'm not sure if my title makes sense in German. So don't say it to anybody who happens to be German. They might laugh at you or invade France or something.

I hate English.

I've been working hard (or rather 'hardly working) at my English paper today. Well, not all of it, but the parts that I felt like it.

I hate English.

I'm finally just about done, but my last few paragraphs are crap. Unfortunate, since it' the most important part of my argument.

I hate English.

The paper also needs three secondary sources, but I've only managed to find and incorporate two decent ones. I'm going to have to go back over it and add in some sort of reference to my final source. This is going to be hard, since it doesn't mention war at all, and that's what my paper is about.

I hate English.

The worst part about this whole thing is the fact that I once so enjoyed these novels. Nineteen Eighty-Four was fantastic, and The Wars wasn't so bad. Now I've got an unending, seething hatred for all things George Orwell, or Timothy Findley.

I hate English.

At the very least, this is the last English paper I'll have to write ... ever. My exam is on Monday, so very soon I'll be finished with this devilish course for all of eternity.

I hate English.

Ich schreibe auf Deutsch jetzt ...

... weil Ich hasse Englisch.*

=====

* - (I write in German now ... because I hate English)

SASF Closing

2007-03-31T12:06:00.000-02:30

Last night we had a fantastic time at Boston Pizza, for the final event for the Memorial University of Newfoundland's Salvation Army Student Fellowship.

We pretty much invaded a corner of Boston Pizza, and the night was filled with much talking, some eating, and a fair share of laughter. I can't really get into highlights, so for anybody who cares, I'll outline next year's executive (which I'm on! wewt!):

President: Jillian Sexton
Vice Pres: Stephanie Albert
Prayer and Outreach Coordinator: Josh Thompson
Secretary: Meagan White
Treasurer: Danika Kung

Good times? I think so. First order of business is to change the name of my position to "Minister (or Director) of Spiritual Warfare and Galactic Conquest."

Afterwards a group of us went to the Sexton residence, and I watched Stranger than Fiction for a second time. It's a great movie. Check it out!

Position Needed: Wax Paper (Apply Within)

2007-03-29T19:04:00.000-02:30

I opened my sketch book open to scan a picture I did a few days ago, to find it in one big gray smear. That made me a little angry, to be honest. I spent so much time on it, and I thought it was fantastic. Finally, when I was about to show it to somebody, things seem to have gone wrong.

Maybe next time, I guess.

In the meantime, I have to be working on my paper about René Descartes' Meditations on First Philosophy. Why don't these darn things write themselves?

I also realized this week that as soon as I finish my last Religious Studies paper on Saint Augustine, I will have written four papers on good 'ole Augustine. I'm not complaining, really, but I just found it interesting.

Maybe at the end of the term, I'll edit all the errors out of my papers, and post them on my blog. Would anyone care to see that? I'll have ten of them by the time the term comes to a close.

Ich habe keine Lust.

2007-03-28T23:25:00.000-02:30

Yay for new German phrases. Already today I've shouted "Das ist wahnsinn!" (that's insanity), "Mach keine Witze!" (make no jokes), and "Quatsch!" (That's crap). I've also told people "Ich habe keine Lust." which basically means "I have no energy" or "I have no drive."

I've also changed my MSN name to "Der Josh," since a) it's German, and b) it moves me up on people's MSN lists, and will mess them up.

Today was a crash-day for me. Everything mood-related has been elevated for me since last Friday, for various reasons. Today, for no reason at all, it all came crashing down.

I realized again how terrible my writing is. I understood anew the idiocy that I put forward on a daily basis. I phoned home, and got berated like a child for the first time in a while.

Well, that's not true. I just felt like I had. Mom and Dad are looking out for me, I'm sure. But right now I just want to be an idiot.

Anyways, that's not exciting to talk about.

Actually, there's not really much exciting to talk about. I think I'll just end this, and go to bed. Only one class tomorrow morning, which means the last day before my Philosophy paper due, is the most opportune time to do it. I'd go to JoBoss to do my writing, but that means $4 on a Caramel Machiato. Perhaps I'll take an extra juice tomorrow, and imagine it has magical paper-writing powers.

Everybody's Free (To Write)

2007-03-28T01:19:00.000-02:30

The past week has been spectacular.

On Friday, we had the very first SASF alumni night ever. It was pretty good. There have been more amazing things, but that's okay. Is it bad that I actually had a blast trying to distract my weeping two-year-old cousin from the absence of her mother? I wasn't very good at it, but hey! I need to make sure I'm around more often. Not just for Gabby, but because I've begun to miss my family here. I haven't seen enough of them, really. Kayla and Jillian, a lot of, I guess, since they're at the UC every other day, but everyone else ... not so much.

On days when it feels like suppertime, but is actually only two in the afternoon, I sometimes get the idea "Maybe I can go visit nan." It's really been hitting me how much I didn't/don't know. I had always imagined sitting down over 'tea' and discussing the olden days. I need to make sure not to put that off with my only remaining grandparent. I need to remember to call more often, too.

But yeah, skating was after the alumni night. Wasn't so bad. I need to remember skates for next year, but I did take a run around the rink. Fell twice, but I had a blast, actually.

Saturday was pretty dull. I woke up around noon, surfed the web, read for a few hours, then went to Tim Horton's with Meighan. I also wrote an impulsive email to a friend, concerning awkwardness that seemed to abound. Things appear to have cleared up. Stupid Josh, and his stupid ambiguity. I knew it all stemmed from my stellar lack of clarity!

Sunday was pretty cool too. It was Corps Cadet Sunday, a group that I have recently been associated with. I sat with my Aunt Glenda and Dayna, though, since I wasn't needed for the service. Afterwards we went to the Marshes for lunch. I had intended to get home early to go to Dayna's, and celebrate Aunt Glenda's four hundred and seventy fourth birthday, but couldn't get a ride. I walked to the SASF service at the temple (40 minute walk).

After the service, was SNAC with the Temple kids. That was wicked too. I spent a good amount of time talking to David, the first person to really listen to the full scope of my science-fictional imaginings. He encouraged me, and I've spent four hours in the last two days writing again. I think I might actually get somewhere this time.

Monday was cool. Things with the afforementioned friend went stellar, I got back a German quiz that I did decent on, I wrote some stuff, and then I had supper at the University. Shortly after five, however, I remembered that I was on to teach Corps Cadets. In a panic, I brainstormed with some people at the University Center, and decided that I would give the class three options for the night: Do a class out of the booklet, watch Veggie-Tales, or chat about whatever. They took Veggie-Tales. I had meant to discuss the video afterwards, but we ended up going overtime. Whoops!

Today was good, but I can't really get into it. Which is okay, because it was a dull good. I'm finally reading that Newfoundland Romance Novel: The Man from LaManche, and let me tell you, it's terrible. I'm enjoying it though. Is that a bad thing?

Don't judge me.

I think the rest of this week will be good. I'm out of clean clothes at the moment, but that'll be rectified in a day. I'm excited for the SASF closing, and a teleconference with the Haiti Mission Team, but since the times are conflicting as of right now, I'm not quite sure how those will actually go ...

Finally, I think I came to my most favorite realization ever this week: God is good.

For the longest time, I've passed that over as a very simple kiddie-phrase. God is Good: God has attributes that we call 'good.' Gotcha. So what? My shirt is red: my shirt has attributes that we call 'red.'

But it's not like that at all, see. I mean, it can be, but God is good.

God is the good, as Plato might have said.

It's difficult to communicate, so if you don't already understand, I'm really sorry I can't explain it to you. It's been the most fun little nugget to turn over in my mind lately, though.

Beddy byes!

On Hibernation, Martian Invasions, and the Inability to Bleed

2007-03-23T00:29:00.000-02:30

You have no idea how much I love the title of this post. Or rather, that style of title. The sort of On Nationalism, Expansion, and the Great War or On Peoples, Cultures, and the Global Community. The random nature of the subject matter only makes it the more lovely.

I begin with the tale of my sleep last night. Normally sleep patterns are fairly simple, and not worth mentioning. However this Wednesday, it was different.

I arrived home at about five thirty. Supper time. I decided that I would forgo eating for the time being, however, and instead pursue a quick nap, since I was feeling quite tired. I set my alarm for about seven, and rolled over for some sleep.

Some time later, I awoke in a stupor. All I could hear was the sound of Full House coming through the wall to my right. "Meagan must be watching her DVDs" I thought, angrily. "Why is she watching those [expletive deleted] [expletive deleted] DVDs at this [expletive deleted] late hour of the [expletive deleted] night?!"

It was only 11:30. I couldn't even remember going to sleep, so I just laid there for ten minutes, seething in anger and confusion. I figured it out, eventually, and got up immediately.

I trudged downstairs to finally get some supper (A salad consisting of lettuce, Chicken, cheese and Russian dressing). I got back to bed, fearing a night devoid of sleep, at 12:30. I then did not wake until 10:00 the next morning.

That's some Olympic level sleeping, let me tell you.

Next story. Segues are overrated.

I finished H.G. Wells' War of the Worlds today. I have to say, the book was a bit difficult to get into, but well worth the read. I'm not quite sure I understand the point of it all. It's funny how all through the book, the point was made that these Martians were an Evolutionary step beyond us. They could regard us like we regarded rabbits, or something. But the most basic of creatures brought the Martian invasion to a halt. If you want to know what that exactly is, just watch the movie. That point, at least, stayed in tact.

The rest of the book, however, was butchered. I know, the book is from the 19th century, and it was modernized, or whatever, but there were things that they just shouldn't have changed. The tripods were underground? That's just not right!

Final story. Segues are still overrated.

I went to the Blood Donor clinic today. I didn't say anything to anybody about it, because I wanted the option of chickening out. But I didn't. Sort of.

I walked through the doors. I sat in the chair. I answered the questions. I waited. I sat in the comfy chair. I got prepared for the needle.

While the preparation was happening, I must have come off as really nervous. Then a girl across the way from me fainted. And not like normal fainted, but like mutant fainted. She was writhing in her chair, as she came to. That threw me off a little. The nurse asked me if I wanted to wait until another day to give blood.

I said to keep going, but I must have been more nervous than I knew. The needle did go into my arm, and it did find a vein. Already better than last time. However, I think I convulsed. I tensed up. My face contorted, and before I could compose myself, the nurse took the needle out, and said something like "maybe next time." I defeatedly sat in my chair, and pushed the cotton against my punctured arm. As I sat there I became ashamed of my cotton wad, like a soldier who has just received the Medal of Honor, but in reality had spent the battle curled up in a ball at the bottom of his sleeping bag.

The nurse assured me that I had tried, and that by even coming to the clinic, I had done good. Also, she pointed out that it'll make the whole experience easier for next time.

Next time. I vow right now that I'll go back. By God, I will fill a bag with my own blood at least once in my life! I swear it here and now. I defy thee, Zeus! (Or whoever the God of blood-donation is.)

Anyways. That's been my exciting day. Revel in it's intensity. Stuff still isn't perfect at school, but I'm sure I'll re-adjust with time. I'm just becoming more aware, I guess, and trying to do with that what is possible.

Good times.

Good times ...

What is Love?

2007-03-20T22:24:00.000-02:30

So. I had Andrew download that song "What is Love" for me tonight. I'm excited. Love myself some of that music, let me tell you.

Today's been a very "up" day. There was a bit of time spent socializing. Somebody told me the exact lie I wanted to hear, and they didn't even realize it. I spent some time playing Golf, (the card game), and ended up with a score of zero one round. I talked to people from home about fish, about the good ole grade five type of love, and just awesomeness in general.

Tomorrow can only be worse. But hey, I'll ride this wave like something fierce.

Sunrise and Music

2007-03-18T22:46:00.000-02:30

Click and read, folks:

I've been going through some webcomic archives, and I came across this one, probably one of my favorite xkcd comics.

This has sort of set me on thinking about sunrise. I still haven't managed to catch one this year. I think sometime this week I'm gonna get up super-early, and go somewhere to watch. I say that, but I know it won't happen.

There's also mention of music. I've recently purchased two albums from the iTunes store, Relient K's new Five Score and Seven Years Ago, as well as David Crowder Band's slightly older Sunsets and Sushi (Experiments in Spectral Deconstruction).

As with every other album ever, there are a few songs that just infuse me with energy. I listen to O Praise Him (All This For A King) [Oceanic Mix], and it's a great feeling. I just want to walk. I want to watch everything that happens around me. And I want the music to follow.

And then on Relient K's CD, Come Right Out and Say it, Forgiven, Devastation and Reform, Faking My own Suicide, Bite my Tongue, and Up and Up, all of them just make me want to run. To find something worth running to, and just give it.

It's unfortunate that these elations have to die. I listen to something inspiring, but then I remember that life isn't as simple as "run" or whatever other feelings they evoke.

But let's all just pretend it is that simple. Because it feels good.

I've Given In

2007-03-17T14:15:00.000-02:30

I just logged in to the Facebook account I made a month ago.

Ugh. Maybe it's an acquired taste? I'm not liking the layout with all the control panels or whatever. I'm fairly certain I'll grow into it, I guess.

EDIT: Aagh, I just looked through some pictures of Corner Brook kids. WHY did I come to St. John's?! I miss those guys sooo much.

Gee, way to trigger an emotional breakdown Facebook! Good job. Ugh.

A Relaxed Day

2007-03-15T19:00:00.000-02:30

So, today was a fairly relaxed day, with no pressure from tests, assignments, papers ... whatever. Soon enough those will pile up again, I'm sure, but for now I can breathe easy.

In the meantime, I spent some time chilling in the University Center, as I am prone to doing sometimes. Everybody was making birthday cards once I arrived, so I sort of joined in on that. It was fun times.

Then I spent the next three hours sitting around, and talking. It's been decided that if I ever get elected to be the president of SASF, Zach will have to be my adviser. Examples of the decisions we've already made:

"President" will have to be changed to something more awesome, like "Emperor," or "Supreme Ruler."

An Honor Guard will have to be drafted and trained from the general members. Each exec member will get two to follow them in their daily activities. Just in case.

At least three battle-capable, carrier-class Starships will be commissioned, as well as the necessary starfighters for their defense.

Can you see the future folks? It looks good, doesn't it?

About Me

2007-03-14T16:23:00.000-02:30

Some things I've noticed (or have been pointed out) about me:

I start 90% of my blog posts with the word "So." I go back after and delete it most of the time.

When I get excited about a point I'm about to make, or making, I start to tap on the edge of the table with my index finger. Apparently I tap like a retard, and can at times shake the table. My fingers hurt afterwards if I think about it.

About half of the stories I tell about my "friends" are actually about me.

I internally obsess about how I look much of the time, but I rarely do anything about it.

I fantasize about knowing foreign languages a lot. I imagine situations where a Chinese (Or German, or Japanese, or Italian, or whatever else) person is standing around. I say "Hi" in their language, and amaze everybody around me.

I've pretty much accepted the fact that my dreams are foolish and likely will not be realized, but I still hang on to the notion that I'll spend a year or two in each of Germany, Russia, Israel, China, and Japan.

I've started to write six stories in the past two years, but have quit every time before the third chapter, often in the first.

In all six of those stories, I'm pretty sure the protagonist has the same name: Alex.

I get fixated on certain people a lot. I spend much time and energy trying to please them, and grow a closer friendship with them. It's unhealthy, and it has never paid off.

Modest Mouse - Dashboard

2007-03-13T23:58:00.000-02:30

I love discovering new music. I've been watching some Relevant.TV over the past day or two (which isn't working right now for some reason).

Well, I found this song, then looked it up on YouTube so I could post it here.

The video is fun, and I'm enjoying the music.

Put Modest Mouse on my list of "artists to buy albums of."

"Yeah, it would've been, could've been worse than you would ever know."

visualDNA

2007-03-13T18:10:00.000-02:30

Hey, check out the thingy I found on Chris' blog: visualDNA.

Mine is at the bottom of the blog (below where the posts show up, it wouldn't fit in the sidebar).

Everybody should definitely get one =D

Xerxes

2007-03-12T21:42:00.000-02:30

It's funny: Here I am, a Christian, believing in the truth of scripture, but when I see it correlating to history in some way, I'm shocked.

Tonight I went to Corps Cadets at the Citadel, and sat in on one of the classes there. The class was discussing the book of Esther, and the story therein. While I was reading through the first chapter or two, I was hit by the startling realization that Esther married the king of Persia. King Xerxes I.

King Xerxes I was the Persian king who waged the Greco-Persian War, where Greece was invaded, and eventually repelled the invaders. A prominent battle (a tactical loss, but a victory in morale for the Greeks) was the Battle of Thermopylae. The battle that the recently viewed 300 is based on.

Crazy stuff, hey? I love when that stuff fits together. I just spent a half hour reading about the Greco-Persian War on Wikipedia. Neat stuff, let me tell you. Those Spartans had it going on.

Rediscovery of Ancient Truths

2007-03-12T00:07:00.000-02:30

Today I was met with revelation. Well, maybe not a revelation, but you know what I mean: I've re-applied this truth that I've known to my life.

A friend of mine on Friday, while I was sitting alone, and thinking, came over, and we had a very short conversation. I was rebuked lightly for complaining about the state of my relationships, and yet sitting on my own during the skating. I can see what she was saying, but that really wasn't what I was having trouble with.

We went on, and I got a little bit introspective. Perhaps in pursuing new friendships, I was letting the old fall into disrepair.

I thought long and hard on that, and then tonight, asked some folks out to coffee.

One of the reasons I was pursuing other friendships was the fact that deep conversation, deep connection didn't really happen that much in the friendships I had previously. I realize now that I had a large part in that.

I decided to trust in the evening, to let it take it's course. Conversation was fluid, and touched on some deep topics I had been longing to converse on for a while.

Why am I so stupid some days?

New friendships will still be pursued, but never again at the expense of the old. I did that in High School, and it was a dumb idea. I've done that this month, and it's proven to be just as dumb. I'll try and remember never to do that again.

Also, I'm thinking I might actually go for the SASF exec next year. I had toyed with the idea, then jettisoned it as ludacris. But now, I'm not sure.

Whatever happens: happens.

300

2007-03-11T01:14:00.000-02:30

I went to see 300 today. I tried to get somebody to go with me, but failed. Turns out, I asked the wrong people. Oh well, better luck next time on that one.

Anyways, all I have to say is 'fantastic.' It was highly stylistic, and impossibly unhistoric. But that's okay, because it wasn't trying to stay true to life.

Warning: ABSOLUTELY NOT for everyone. There were a few scenes with nudity, and most of it was unnecessary. Also, there is a lot of blood. Nothing in the way of internal organs rolling on the ground, mind you, but there's a lot of blood sort of being flicked around. It's almost a character. A few severed limbs and beheadings, too.

In a sentence: extreme on the violence. But that's pretty much the point of the movie, and it did it's job well, in pushing the story forward. A very basic story, but a story nonetheless.

So yeah, I can't wait for more people to go see it, so I can talk about it.

Josh is happy.

EDIT: Mamsy Pamsy off of Relevant Forums put it best, I think:

"One of the manliest movies I have ever seen. It's right up there with Braveheart and Fight Club.

Seriously, the message of the movie was "I AM MAN!""

Upcoming Meltdown

2007-03-10T02:44:00.000-03:30

Every so many months, I have this emotional meltdown. I don't know how to prevent them. I've been learning to deal with them. They've affected my relationships in the past, for the better and for the worse. I'm trying to cushion the impact now.

Today it began. I was talking to Marlene during my meeting about what gives me a deep satisfaction. The answer was "deep connection."

It makes sense, I know, but I can't speak for anybody else. I live for that connection with other human beings. There have been a few people in the past with whom I've consistently connected with for a time, but they all cycle. Example: I have no such connection right now.

I look at my relationships as they stand right now. I've got plenty of friends: more than I would have asked for! I annoy the heck out of them, but they stick around. It's good.

I think about a person with whom I've shared a "deep connection" before. I re-organized my days around our conversations. Those talks were worth the cost of living in St. John's, of going to MUN. Something has happened, though. I don't know what, but that connection is gone. We're still friends, and laughs are still shared, but I talk to them and think about how all that made me feel.

I'm not even talking about a romantic-interest sort of thing. Yes, this person is female, but it wasn't like that. But then I wonder why isn't today like the way it was? Perhaps I made it that way. Did I make it awkward? Did I talk too much and listen not enough? Did I not engage?

Heck, it could just be the natural evolution of my relationships. It sucks, but that's probably it.

I was contemplating all this quietly alone at SASF, which I realize now is a bad move. I was content, and happy, sitting and watching people skate. I would have preferred that over skating, I think. I tried to reach out, though, and sort of got burned. Then somebody came to talk to me. I'm not sure how I feel about that. I'm glad somebody made the effort, and I was glad for the conversation ... but I realize how I painted myself in a negative light.

Maybe I do need to be content with the way things are. Maybe the only relationships I can have right now are the ones around the University lunch table. I guess everybody I know is too good a student to go to a movie on a Monday night, or to throw a much needed Study-Saturday away. Can I fault them for having a focus on academia? Of course not.

It's just that, this is not the social situation I imagined when I was coming to St. John's, but reality is typically not as fun as fantasy, I guess.

This is making me feel better. I don't know if that's good or bad. I've never been able to diffuse a "meltdown" before, so I fear I'm just postponing the problem.

Ugh. Why is reality so messy?

I am Solomon's Fool

2007-03-07T23:33:00.000-03:30

I don't like who I am all the time. Maybe not the greatest statement to put where friends can read, but what can you do?

I spend time with people, and then think about how I would view myself if I were them.

"He's a fool"
"He speaks without thinking"
"He doesn't know what he's talking about"
"He's arrogant"
"He's annoying"

All things I hear myself saying about me.

I know there are good things, but that doesn't make the bad ones go away. I want to "fix" those gross spots, because I don't like seeing them on myself, but it's much easier said than done.

I'm really hoping that this Haiti trip will give me an opportunity to look within myself, while I'm focused outward. Likewise with camp, if I get accepted, but I'm pretty much assuming that I won't be, for now. A lot of more qualified people are applying.

This summer is looking more and more mundane with every passing day. It's not that I don't want to work. It's that I do want to do something fulfilling. And for more than just two weeks (though that's better than not at all).

I also noticed something today. I started reading Proverbs again, and with every time I read that book, it leaps out at me more and more. But it condemns me more and more too. In almost every proverb about fools vs. the righteous, or vs. the wise, I paint myself as the fool, more than the other.

Maybe everybody does, I don't know.

"Wounds from a friend can be trusted,
but an enemy multiplies kisses."
(Proverbs 27:6)

Some days I'd sell my soul for one of those disastrous kisses Solomon is talking about here. They won't help me grow, but at least I wouldn't have to realize how I'm in the wrong 90% of the time.

This has been 100% unprocessed thought.

The "300" Thoughts, and on Closeness

2007-03-07T00:00:00.000-03:30

I just got home. A quick post, then I've got to type my next paper for Philosophy tomorrow.

300 comes out this weekend. I don't care who else I can convince, I'm going on Saturday. There was a promotion where 300 seconds of the movie were posted online. It looks highly stylized, but fantastic.

I read through some of the comments on YouTube and was (as often happens reading things on the internet) quite disturbed. One person made a comment on how amazing the historical event was. Somebody responded about not taking Greek Mythology as fact. Numbers were thrown, and claims were made.

My understanding is that 1500 Greeks (including 300 Spartans, the greatest warriors in the world at the time) stood up against a massive Persian army, fighting to the last man, and taking out between 20 000 and 40 000 invaders. The movie takes a lot of liberty, eliminating the 1200 "other" Greeks, and making the Persian army a million strong.

But nobody should take this as history! The style alone should let you know that this isn't a documentary! They have freaking trolls, guys! Are you stupid?

Anyways, all this comes on the heels of a decent day. I spent the majority of it in the Library with Dave and Steph. I read a lot, while they worked and passed notes.

Let me tell you, I look at Dave and Steph, and get pretty jealous. Not of either one of them in particular. Such great friends, and they seem so close. This could just be the outsider looking in, but I couldn't remember a relationship of my own that looked that ... good. There probably are a few, but it just got me to thinking about what's going on out here now.

Greg, my best friend out here, has been gone for a month and a half now. I've spent a lot of the time since his leaving, trying to find a new friend on that caliber. It just hasn't happened. It seems like everybody is comfortable in their groups at this time of year. I can chill with these people at lunch, but I don't think I've actually done anything with any university students since Greg has left. I've hung around with Meighan, and Mark here and there, but those times seem far and few between as it is. A few plans with other people have been made too, but nobody seems to want to act.

I have to admit. I feel very lonely sometimes. Then I think about what I do have, and it is good. I guess it's just me being greedy, wanting something like these intense friendships that I see. "Those took years to forge," I keep telling myself. "In year 3-4 of MUN, I'll have friendships like that."

It's hard to be patient sometimes, though. Especially when what you have doesn't look at all like what you've imagined, and it looks like your imaginings will never be realized in quite that way.

Patience was never my gift.

Going Computer-less

2007-03-05T16:26:00.000-03:30

So, my computer has eaten up too much of my time as it is.

I've decided that for the next few weeks (not supposed to be a lent thing, but whatever) I'm going to limit my computer usage, by packing my Mac away in it's box for the majority of the day.

I'm allowing myself an hour every day for internet usage, checking emails, blogging, etc., plus three "wildcard" hours redeemable at any point in the week for watching shows and stuff. So that leaves me with 10 hours a week. A lot of time?

Well today, I got home at 1:30, and haven't moved off my computer until now, 4:30. 3 hours, and I'd be on it for longer during a normal day.

Perhaps I'll get some reading done. I'll go on a walk or two. Maybe even catch up on my Psychology (hint: I've got one class' material covered, and we've got less than a month left of class this semester).

My biggest argument against myself was that I use it for music, if nothing else ...

So I'm burning my iTunes library off in the next half hour, and calling it it.

If anybody needs to contact me, call the house. Then again, nobody really messaged me anyways, so ... yeah.

Ugh, I'm so going to die.

Songs to Turn the Wheels

2007-03-03T15:58:00.000-03:30

Every so often I find a song that absolutely drives me.

Not in the colloquial way, as in "drive me up the wall," but just drives me. Puts energy into the system. Adds fuel to the fire.

Pillar's Frontline
Burlap to Cashmere's Eileen's Song
Anberlin's Paperthin Hymn
Jar's of Clay's Frail and Oh My God
Lost Prophets' Can't Catch Tomorrow
Guns 'n Roses' Civil War

Well let's welcome Josh Groban to the list, Now or Never makes me smile. It makes me want to do something. To run, to create, to find things.

Music shouldn't be that potent. I want to do something adventurous.

YFM Retreat

2007-03-02T15:24:00.000-03:30

I've essentially put off blogging this week since I've resolved to make the next post about the YFM retreat I went to last weekend. It's Friday, so maybe I should get on that.

I have a theory on why I enjoy YFM as much as I do. SASF is made up entirely of University students. It's great, but there's just ... something off about it to me sometimes. Like I expect people to be either more serious, or more silly, but they're comfortably in the middle. That's probably a good place to be, but it's just not where I sort of expect them to be. As far as YFM goes, I've got pretty low expectations on the intellectual scale, which some people more than meet. And they're just silly too.

This sort of rabid enjoyment of YFM has made me question whether I should just drop SASF altogether, but there are several factors keeping me from doing that. I won't get into it.

So YFM retreat was pretty great. The whole weekend, there was a table set up with drinks and junk food. That's cool in itself.

The first night we pretty much broke up into groups, and made our own movies. I was a bit disappointed with the level of involvement in our group, but I can't deny that the end result was a pretty incredible movie.

Saturday consisted of much fun, beginning with breakfast (obviously) and a session lead by Julia, about doing "something undignified." Lunch, and then free time, in which a bit of German was studied ("Warum ist die Katse in dem Kuhlschrank?" "Warum nicht?") and much Wii was played. Another session, and then supper. Finally, we had our night at the Oscars, where we learned the results of the voting on the movies we made the previous night. Everybody dressed up to some degree, and it was pretty much a blast.

The most awesome part of the entire weekend, though, was the bonding game, and book-signing that happened after a snack and a few games. The bonding game involved a person picking somebody they don't normally talk to a lot, and telling them why they're awesome. During this explanation, you tie a bit of string which you have, to a bit of string that they have. In the end, once everybody has gone, there's a big circle of string, and everybody feels all fuzzy, and a few are crying. I cried at a few ... but luckily not my own.

After that, we were all given little notebooks, and pens. We sat in a giant circle, and wrote our names on a book. Pass to the right, and write something in the book you were just handed. In the end, you get a notebook with messages from everybody at the retreat, saying something about why you're cool, or wishing you luck in the next few months, or whatever else. It was cool, because I got a chance to write some things to some people that I didn't know how to say. Plus, after reading through my book, I realized just how awesome I am. (hah!)

Anyways, after five hours of book signing, most went to bed at about four thirty a.m. The next day was your standard Sunday of any retreat, meaning a service, then cleanup.

I can't wait to go to retreat next year. I wish that awesomeness could be carried over whole months, but I guess it just doesn't happen.

So, I need groceries, and I have the money to get them. I'd better do that before I forget about it.

In Hoc Signo Vinces

2007-02-26T15:45:00.000-03:30

I re-opened my Josephus: The Essential Works book there on Friday and read another chapter in it. I don't know why I ever stopped.

While opening it, I passed by the signature by the author, who gave a seminar in Corner Brook last year. The ink reads:

"Greetings in ☧!
Paul L. Maier"

That symbol, how had I forgotten it? So neat. Today I was sort of just drawing them here and there. For those who don't know, it's referred to as the "Labarum" or "Chi Ro," and it's the first two letters of the Greek word for Christ (ΧΡΙΣΤΟΣ-Christos) superimposed on each other. (Thanks Wikipedia!)

Anyways, the whole thing was sort of a key part to Constantine's conversion. Apparently before a major battle during his campaign to reunite the Roman Empire, the symbol appeared before Constantine near the sun. In a dream that night, he was told by God "In this sign, conquer," often translated to the Latin "In Hoc Signo Vinces."

Before the battle, the new symbol was instituted as the army's standard, being drawn on shields and banners. The battle was won, and tradition dictates that Constantine converted to Christianity shortly after.

After reading some things about the conversion, I can see that the record isn't in unanimous agreement about Constantine's conversion, and the legitimacy of the symbol. However, it is a nice story at the very least, and a pretty cool symbol.

I think I'll adopt it as my standard. "In Hoc Signo Vinces"

Victory

2007-02-26T00:36:00.000-03:30

Today was a day of victory.

I just thought I'd put that out there.

During the YFM retreat, we watched a bit of a Christian movie, I forget the title of. It was fairly cheesy, but my favorite scene was where a football player was told to do the "Death Crawl" (crawling with your knees off the ground and a person on your back) for 50 meters, blindfolded. All anybody had done previously, was 20 meters. All during the crawl, the coach was leaning down and saying "Just a bit further! Keep going! Don't give up now! You're almost there!"

When the boy finally collapsed, he was in the other end-zone. The coach had ignored the 50 yard line, and ended up having the guy crawl the whole length of the field.

"God doesn't expect us to do everything. Just the next thing."

In other news, I've got to admit, I'm feeling a bit unwelcome at a new forum I've been going to for the past week. I started a discussion on Evolution vs. Creationism, simply asking why people believed what they did, not demanding explanations or whatever. In the end, I told how the jury is still out for me.

I got 3 personal messages, one giving me a quick lesson in Hebrew, for understanding the context of the Genesis story. Another one was telling me about the problems in the scientific community surrounding creationism. My favorite one, however, came from a Girl who didn't sound like she really cared why I believed what I believed. The last thing in her message was pretty much telling me that the reason that no creationist had 'swayed' me is because I have issues with faith and my belief in scripture. I'd rather believe science, which is grounded in fact.

I was astounded. So I have to choose faith blindly, over fact? Call me a doubting Thompson (hah!), but if it comes down to blind acceptance vs. proof, I'm going with proof every time. I don't think she understands the fact that Faith and Fact aren't mutually exclusive.

Too bad.

A post on the YFM retreat will hopefully come in the next day or two. I've got some sleeping to do right now.

Pain

2007-02-22T01:08:00.000-03:30

My everything hurts. (hahah, look at the birdies!)

On the plus side, I discovered an incredible new sensation. You know when your foot is asleep? Well it's kind of like that ... just on my face! It was actually really cool-feeling, but I'm taking it as a bad sign, seeming as I had just come in from the cold.

If I didn't fear hypothermia, I'd try it again.

Bridge to Terabithia

2007-02-20T23:44:00.000-03:30

Seriously? Fantastic movie.

You don't understand. I can say with confidence that this book was probably my favorite as a kid, next to the Guests of War trilogy. I didn't remember many of the details, but the basics of the book have stuck with me.

And seeing it as a movie ... as I said, I didn't remember much on the finer points, but as a standalone, the movie was fantastic. It's refreshing to see a family movie that tries to teach you something.

I'll not get into it, because many of my comments revolve around a certain major plot element, but seriously, go and see it. I don't care how old you are.

Go. Now.

Why are you still reading? GO!

Good People

2007-02-19T18:25:00.000-03:30

Yay 200 posts at Gibeon Café.

I have to say, I'm getting a bit sick of people saying what they are.

People say they're mature. They're smart. They're a good person. But are those distinctions you're allowed to make about yourself? I personally don't think so.

The attitude is sort of summed up here ...

"I'm no adolescent. Call me a child, or call me an adult. I choose not to be a teenager. You choose what I am."

Some days I feel adult, and some days I feel childish. Some people seem to think of me as one, and others, the other.

Obviously I have a preference, but in order to be called a good person, for example, I can't just declare it. Act how I think a good person should act. If somebody notices, then and only then, do they and only they, get to make that decision on whether I am good or not.

Now to figure out what set my mind on this path ...

Dreams and Journals

2007-02-19T01:20:00.000-03:30

After a great night at YFM (my conversational hiatus with a certain interesting mind finally ended) I came home and hopped on MSN. Zach and I had a rather large conversation about dreams.

Maybe I'll post the guts of the conversation later, but here is the skeleton: I was sort of feeling down at the realization that the dreams I have today aren't going to be fully realized. Tomorrow I'll have a different, possibly more realizable dream, and I'll settle for achieving that. But the dream I have today, this grand goal, will probably not be realized.

The conversation basically went from there into whether that's a bad thing. If we continually chased the big dream, a lot of us would feel unsatisfied when we don't achieve our goal. If we modify our goal for something slightly more achievable, we'll still get a sense of accomplishment once we reach our goal.

From there we discussed what a person who continues to chase the largest dreams looks like. For somebody who feels forced into accepting the "lesser goal," the person who continues to chase his "greater goal" is a fool, worthy of contempt. For somebody who chooses his "lesser goal," understands why it has to be that way, and/or still feels a large sense of achievement, the person who continues to chase is "greater goal" is somebody to be respected, because he's not settling for what's good, or respectable. He wants what he wants, and believes is the best.

I guess everybody hopes they'll be the one who shoots for the highest goal all the time, and honestly, some people's "greater goal" might sound unincredible, like teaching math. But doesn't everybody have one absurdly amazing dream? Maybe it's to visit a certain country, or to be world-famous for something. Is it a bad thing to give up on those, since they might not be attainable? To tie it in with Deal or No Deal, is it okay to settle for the banker's $240, 000 rather than hold out for the $1 000 000, chances are you don't even have anyways?

So those were the thoughts for tonight. I might not even have anything left to go more depth into.

However, something else struck me about the conversation. It happened over MSN. Socrates and Glaucon, in Plato's dialogues, didn't have computers. They met in Athens. I've been reading a book about C.S. Lewis and Sigmund Freud, and a lot of what is referenced are letters and journals.

I don't write letters, and I don't keep a journal. But I wonder ... if the next generation wanted to write about me ... would they go to my blog and email in the same way we go to Lewis' letters and journals? Will these electronic sources be around for that long?

Should I start printing?

Music and the Chinese New Year

2007-02-18T17:18:00.000-03:30

=====

Nemo had listened to the song more than ten times before the lyrics hit him.

"They lied when they said the good die young."

He wasn't dead. If he wasn't "good" already, he swore then to make sure he became good. He would make the lyric true.

"Now to determine what 'good' is ... " Nemo muttered to himself in an empty house.

=====

So, last night there was a Chinese New Year event at MUN. I have to say, it was a blast. The food was a plus. I don't really like Chinese food, but it was actually pretty good last night. It all got eaten, at any rate.

Then the entertainment was good too. The lion dance was nicer to watch than I'd have expected MUN to have. Then comedians chattering in Mandarin, Chinese music, and lots of dance. Tai Chi too. I want to learn that, it'd be pretty cool.

New jeans in the next few days, and possibly a book (I'm almost finished Plato's Republic). Also, YFM retreat next weekend. Too bad I'll be missing cousin's night. I'll make it up some other time.

I'm hoping random things will continue to happen this week.

And I hope that this feeling of dread: the idea that I'll never achieve today's dreams, will fade away quickly. I don't care how impossible they are, they're going to happen.

Calls from Qatar

2007-02-17T14:19:00.000-03:30

So, today started with a random phone call.

I picked up the phone, and through long delays, static, and a crackling voice was introduced to Robin. I figured it was housemate Robin calling on a cell phone.

No no, this was a different Robin. A Robin I hadn't talked to in 4-5 years.

Random.

She's living in Qatar now, and apparently remembered who I was, and phoned home, where she got the phone number for here. It was slightly awkward, since I was picturing this twelve year old girl in my head. I was thirteen while in cadets, and she was a year behind me.

She's moving back to St. John's next year for University. We're going to go for coffee, I think.

Random.

Can today get any stranger? I sure hope so.

Pretending to Believe

2007-02-15T22:26:00.000-03:30

I hate stupid email forwards. Luckily enough I don't get them, since one these two conditions are met: I have no friends, or The friends I have aren't jerks.

However, a hybrid of the forward has been born and these things are appearing on YouTube now. Annoying as heck, until I got this one:

"PLEASE DON'T READ THIS. You will get kissed on the nearest possible Friday by the love of your life. Tomorrow will be the best day of your life. However, if you don't post this comment to at least 3 videos, you will die within 2 days. Copy and paste this to be saved."

That's some good news! The nearest possible Friday is tomorrow. And tomorrow is also supposed to be the best day of my life. Double whammy!

Now, the comment didn't say I had to post the comment to three videos in order for tomorrow to be the best day ever, but I decided that I don't really want to die either.

Another great side-effect. When somebody randomly kisses me tomorrow, I won't even have to bother with a relationship. I'll propose there on the spot, since the comment said they are the love of my life!

Despite all this good, now I'm one of those jerks I hated so much.

Plato's Justice

2007-02-13T20:52:00.000-03:30

There I was, sitting in the University Center, doing some serious hardcore philosophy paper writing. I'm writing about Plato's definition of justice in the kallipolis (perfect city). It's pretty much in two parts, and I had just finished the first part. I'm going full speed ahead when ...

I slam face-first into a cognitive wall. You've heard of writer's block? Well this is mutant writer's block which also happens to be a terrorist with a nuclear bomb strapped to his chest.

I know that's not possible. But are you getting my point?

Aagh! This is why I've been starting papers a week early here! So I've got time for a day or two of writer's block-age. This has to be done for tomorrow.

Is there such thing as a brain plunger?

Samurai Mime

2007-02-13T07:28:00.000-03:30

I love the internet.

I spent a half hour last night just looking up this guy's stuff on Youtube. He's German, so most of the words are in German, but it's okay. He's miming something, so there aren't too many words. In this skit they're pretty much all mock-Japanese anyways.

Hilarious. At least ... I thought so.

Insomnia

2007-02-11T01:00:00.000-03:30

It's not incredible that I'm awake here at 1 am. I brought it on myself I guess, by staying up last night, and sleeping in today. I hate laying in bed, though, just waiting for sleep to steal me away. My mind wanders, and I think about doing rash things.

A lot of stupid emails have been sent between the hours of 2 and 4 am. Explaining things, and asking things that might not matter when the sun comes up. A few of them have felt good to get out, but in the morning I just feel like an idiot for typing all that I did in a sleep deprived state. The same thing for blog entries. Not like this one, but the "reveal-all, and explicitly tell you my problems, then promise to change" sort of blogs.

Actually, that's sort of what this is heading to. Between an insomniac stupor plus pathetic loneliness for friends gone on, regretful sadness for the passing of my grandmother, angry confusion for the separation of my parents, et cetera, et cetera, I'm wishing I could make the world right. Or at least my corner of it.

I wish everybody who had/is having a problem with me, would just tell me tomorrow. I wish somebody would tell me that they think I'm a pretty cool guy, and somebody else would tell me that I'm not as cool as they let me think. I wish people would just tell me something.

I wish feelings expressed on blogs didn't have to be veiled in ambiguity. I wish I would know what is directed to me, and what isn't, and what all those messages mean. When one talks of train-wrecks, or swimming pools, I wish I could know where I am in relation to the allusion: the conductor, a passenger, a victim, or completely outside. But then, I wish I didn't do the same on mine, that I didn't have to worry about things being taken the wrong way, or to be embarrassingly exposing to me.

I wish I could express myself in the way I want others to express to me. I wish people wouldn't wave me off when I start to tell them about my struggle. I wish I had less acquaintances who simply sit at the same table, and more friends who would hear me out, and honestly disagree or agree with something I say.

I wish some people would shut up, and others would speak up. I wish that quiet girl would tell me her thoughts, and that militant guy would stop telling me his.

I wish those conversations would come back. I wish they didn't have to disappear. I wish I didn't use up all of our subject matter, and I wish I hadn't made that awkward.

I wish I could tell people when I think something nice. I wish "I can't believe more guys aren't attracted to you," was something I could utter without being looked at strangely, and I wish the phrase "You're a pretty awesome guy" carried more weight.

I wish I could ask more questions, but I wish people would ask me questions, so I could give more answers too. I wish people would look at me in a similar way that I look at people I think are smart. And then, I wish farther interaction with those smart people didn't have to tarnish their image in my mind.

I wish I could conjure up more wishes. This whole thing is a little bit liberating, but it makes me sad at the same time. I'll try and rectify some of the wishes that should be realities this week.

And I wish this resolve didn't have to pass with the night.

I Have Little To Say

2007-02-10T22:36:00.000-03:30

Right now I'm feeling like I should blog, but I don't have much to say right now.

I was going to post on my feelings on Nan's funeral yesterday, but I didn't. In short, I felt pretty dumb, pretty self conscious, and pretty embarrassed here and there between the preparations and the actual execution of the ceremony. Unfortunate, since these are feelings my Grandmother, I'm sure, never instilled in a single person. Ever.

Stemming from that, I've been going through a bit of an identity crisis here lately. I used to be technology-science-trivia guy. Now I'm feeling more like an artist. Problem is, I'm stuck in between. I've lost a militant interest in Physics, Technology, etc. But I also lack any artistic inclinations I once had. I decided today on my journey to haul out the sketchbook I've been dragging around for the past month, and actually put it to use.

The result, while fairly simple, is probably the best thing to come out of me in the past two plus years. I'll scan and post after.

Yep. That's how it is. I'm wanting to break in the sketchbook again. I never was an incredible artist, but there's something liberating. I wish I could afford paint. Then I bought a small hardcover book to unify all the literary thoughts that have been floating through my mind in the past months. Will anything useful come from either of these outlets? No. I can tell you that now.

But there's something therapeutic about sketching people on a bus.

Here's the scan:

I realize now how very simple the subject was. I stopped looking up once I got to the windows, so the angle is wrong, and it's not as true to what I was actually looking at. The grime on the windows didn't really come across in the sketch either. Maybe if I get a chance, I'll try a face in the next week.

"Best Sex Ever"

2007-02-10T13:11:00.000-03:30

This looks like an interesting sermon series.

Here are two links to blog entries: one on the series, and the other on the reaction to the series.

Can I say that this is a good thing? I hope most would agree with me on that one. I heard and then re-quoted a statistic I heard once to my friend: "90% of boys see their first pornographic image between the ages of 8 and 16."

The response was something like "Well, that's a wide spread."

Still, sixteen year olds are younger than the required eighteen, and another statistic tells me that the average age for the first pornographic viewing is eleven years old.

With that knowledge, and the knowledge that playgrounds and locker rooms are terrible teachers, I can't believe anybody is condemning the sermon series there.

Jericho

2007-02-07T00:54:00.000-03:30

Finding this site might very well have been the worst thing that ever happened to me.

I watched up to the current episode of Battlestar Galactica, The Office, and now I've just started on Jericho, which Dave and Zack were telling me about today.

Basically, Jericho seems to be a rival corporation's answer to Lost. In the pilot, the residents in the small Kansas town of Jericho watch a mushroom cloud grow over Denver, Colorado. During the course of the episode there is confusion and anger, as we discover that it's not an isolated incident.

I'm at episode three, and I still have no idea what's going on. Then again, that's how it's supposed to be. There's just some draw about it though. It isn't the most amazing show I've ever seen, but it's incredible to watch these people as their entire world literally burns around them. Makes me think: "Hey, it's not so bad for me!"

Also, I don't think I put anything here when it happened, but my Grandmother finally passed away on Monday night. I tried four or five times to blog about it, but I couldn't put into words my feelings. Well, not into comprehensible ones, at least. Maybe in the next week or so I'll be able to, so ... yeah.

Finally, a quick message to whom it may concern, which could be more than I know: I apologize if I come across as cold while you show concern. I just don't want to let myself fall into the trap of relying on the wrong people the wrong amount again.

Blogthings Agrees

2007-02-05T18:01:00.001-03:30

Saw this on Meagan's blog. I hadn't been on Blogthings for a while, so why not?

Your Scholastic Strength Is Deep Thinking

You aren't afraid to delve head first into a difficult subject, with mastery as your goal.
You are talented at adapting, motivating others, managing resources, and analyzing risk.

You should major in:

Philosophy
Music
Theology
Art
History
Foreign language

What Should You Major In?

Thinking in Church

2007-02-02T00:26:00.000-03:30

I found this quote on Peter's blog, where he says he found elsewhere.

"If you don’t pray in my school, I won’t think in your church."

Maybe it's because I'm all about thinking ... but when I first read this I thought it was a demand to pray in school. But reading it a second time made me realize that the speaker is offering a compromise. Sort of like "If you promise to stop praying in my school, I promise to mindlessly accept what your pastor is saying when I show up to your church."

Missing Philosophy and Nan

2007-01-31T09:03:00.001-03:30

I'm sitting here right now in the University Center.

My Philosophy class started five minutes ago.

You have no idea how painful it is to sit here and just watch the time tick by.

Why am I not in Philosophy class? Good question. It's one part embarrassment at not having last Friday's notes. A classmate asked if I could bring them in for her to copy, but I haven't been home since noon yesterday and I had forgotten to take them then.

Oh yeah ... noon yesterday.

I got a call from my aunt Gail right as I was preparing to get up for the day. The message: "Nan's calling the family together."

Let me tell you ... I hadn't even left the house yet and I probably cried more than the rest of the family combined for the whole day. I am the woman.

So yeah, Nan is still with us for the time being. Yesterday a few times she said something to the effect of "I want to go home," which didn't happen. My fear was that she was just buying time until dad and aunt Marley arrived. Well they're here now, and I can't help but wonder if she's going to let herself go.

Not that she shouldn't, or rather, it's not that she doesn't deserve to end all her pain.

If there are eight billion people on the earth right now, I can think of seven billion, nine hundred and ninety nine million, nine hundred and ninety nine thousand, nine hundred and ninety nine people who deserve what Nan has gone through more than she does. And I'm not just saying this about my Nan, because I didn't get to know her, or spend nearly as much time with her as I wanted, but she is honestly the most beautiful person on planet Earth.

She's the kind of person I've wanted to show off to people. In some stupid way, I had hoped she would last long enough to meet whoever my future wife will turn out to be. Or even to introduce her to every last one of my friends.

That doesn't look like it'll happen though. Unless I get engaged, or all my friends randomly move to St. John's in the next day or so.

Also, thanks for the macaroni and cheese Meagan. We have a huge and hungry family, so the size was quite appropriate.

EDIT: I guess I'll tack this on here too. Like somebody said, it sounds too conspiracy theory-ish, but if it's true ... holy crap guys.

When Did I Change Lanes?

2007-01-29T21:50:00.000-03:30

I was thinking today about how much my thinking has changed in the past year.

A year ago I held Arts students in contempt. This year I am an arts student. While my contempt was mostly for fine arts students, it was mostly based on throwing away an education for a "profession" that'll be useless for putting bread on the table. Now I'm a Philosophy student, and though I'm not planning on pursuing it to this level, Philosophy PhDs are the most unemployed post-graduate degrees out there.

I used to be a bit more of a pessimist, I think. I'd consider myself an optimist today though. But that's come with an idealism that I'd have hated a year ago. I often find myself chanting slogans like "To Love is to Live" under my breath while walking around school. The world isn't like that, I know, but it just rings true to me.

There are a hundred smaller things too. I've become more social, and yet I've become a tiny bit more serious about school. I've become more scriptural in my thinking too. My philosophy on dating or whatever has changed a bit, and technology has taken a slightly lower key role in my life (despite the fact that I have more of it now).

I dunno what's going on. I can't say I don't like the change, since we're talking about who I am right now, and that's a person I like a bit more than the yesterday-me. It's just that ... a year ago, I'd have laughed if you told me who I'd be today.

Help Me

2007-01-28T22:58:00.000-03:30

I don't know what I want or why, and what I've decided on, I can't figure out how to execute. I've got the next few years of my life decided on (for now), but I'm still not feeling at ease.

Help me.

A Life Like LEGO

2007-01-28T14:16:00.000-03:30

Right now I'm getting that feeling of unassembled mess being laid out before me.

It's sort of like looking at a pile of LEGO blocks. Not a brand new box, because when you open that, you know that all the pieces are there, and they'll be easy to find. In less than an hour you'll have assembled something amazing.

It's that feeling you get when you look at a massive tub of LEGO blocks. Maybe you just found an old set of instructions, so you're going to try and build the toy pictured. But this tub is filled with thousands of blocks and you only need maybe two hundred. You're not even sure if all the pieces are there ... and even if they are it's going to take forever to sift through the ones you don't need.

It's that feeling of dread. You know that something amazing can be built out of the circumstance, your relationships, and the point you're at in life. You've got faith that something can be built, but you're dreading the action of sifting through those pieces of your existence.

I've got my education to think about. My relationships with people. My plans for the future. None of it is fitting right now, and I fear I might be cracking the blocks trying to force them together here and there. Yesterday I felt as if some pieces finally clicked, or fell into place, but today I wonder if that was just my idealism, or a hopeful imagining.

The longer this post goes on, the less sense it'll make. So I'll just end that here.

Wonderwall

2007-01-28T02:29:00.000-03:30

I have a strange relationship with this song.

Way back in what must have been Junior High, I sort of liked a girl named Eileen. Nobody could blame me for that. She was pretty cool. Anyways, I asked my friend Adam for her email adress, so I could start talking to her on MSN. Because, you know, that's just a safe thing to do.

Adam gives me an address and I add it to MSN. I spend months talking to 'Eileen' like this. During the discourse the topic of favorite songs came up. She mentions Oasis' Wonderwall, and sends it to me. I listen to it and fall in love with it.

One day in school I decide to mention this to Eileen, how much I love the song.

"What song?" she asks.

"Wonderwall!" I reply.

"Wonderwall? Hey, yeah, that is a nice song ... "

"That's your favorite song ... isn't it?"

"No. I don't know what my favorite song is." She spent the next few minutes throwing out possibilities.

Adam had given me Victoria's email.

On purpose.

Abortion

2007-01-27T16:11:00.000-03:30

"No, I do not believe that abortion is morally justifiable."

A pause.

"Though ..." A longer pause. "In some cruel way, I'm glad those aborted children don't have to deal with this messed up world: the world that let them die."