I'm Back

My last night in Haiti was probably one of the most awesome ... literally awe-filled ... nights in recent memory. It began with having a pile of candy to hand out on Mom's behalf. I knew there were a few people on the roof, so I went up. I offered, and I left.

After my candy-running errand was over, I went up to the roof again, knowing that people would still be there. Most of the Integrate team eventually made it up to the roof, laying down and looking up through a cloudless patch of sky. The stars weren't out in full-force there either. I remember marveling at how so many stars get filtered out by the tiniest light. But it was Haiti. I lay back with the rest of the crowd, and just enjoyed the cool night air, and the black star-dotted sky.

Eventually I was alone on the roof. Strange how solitude can be so comforting. That's something I think I've been missing since St. John's. As strange as it sounds. In September my solitude was my hell. But by the end of my second term, solitude was something I enjoyed to an extent. I could have taken less of it, but I stopped wishing for none of it.

In Haiti, I didn't have my iPod. I didn't bring it for fear using it, more than loosing it. On that roof I started to hum to myself. I couldn't remember any songs other than the Chorouses Awesome God, and Let it Rain. I had never liked the latter before the trip, but one day when some heavy rain was pounding down, one of the guys jokingly sang a line. I couldn't get it out of my mind the whole time afterwards.

Let it rain, let it rain.
Open the floodgates of Heaven.

I must have hummed and sang that chorus to myself more than a hundred times on the roof.

Then fireworks started.

At first I didn't know what was happening, and was scared for it. I was in a different part of the world, sitting on a roof, on a quiet night in a troubled city. I was staring off into the distance, when the clouds flashed Red. Red again. More red.

I wouldn't have been so frightened if they had started with the blue quicker. I turned around and saw clouds being even more intensely colored. I decided the commotion was over there. I figured by that time that it was fireworks or pyrotechnics or something. It was around midnight, and Friday was the Haitian Flag Day. I watched for a while longer, and fireworks began to explode over the treetops. There were a few hills between the celebration area and where I was, and only the top halves of the firework blooms were visible, but they were still fun to watch.

In retrospect, I sort of wish we could have been there celebrating with the people in Port Au Prince. If anyone deserves to celebrate their national identity, it's the Haitians. It's the second independent nation from the new world, right behind the U.S. And the U.S. didn't go from Oppression to Hardship-filled Freedom.

I eventually went down from the roof, and journaled for the last time in Haiti. As an aside, I haven't even picked up the journal again yet, despite my vow to journal my whole summer. The power had gone out in the guest house, and the night-guy brought a candle up to lend some light to the darkened hallway. I talked with him briefly, but the conversation didn't really move beyond "The generator is broken." and "Thats bad." He was telling me that it wouldn't be possible for it to be repaired until well into the next day.

After some advice for us to open the shutters from my window before going to sleep, the man went downstairs, and I sat down by the candle. It was the only light I could find, so I just journaled there. When Melissa went to bed, she offered me her light, but I declined. The candle was nice. It was like the washing-clothes-by-hand thing. It was great fun and something I wanted to do. If I had known I would have to do that from then on, it would have lost it's appeal, but for then it was something different. Living a different reality.

Tonight I had a sort of bridge-across-time experience. I walked to and from Scott's in the cool air. I was listening to my music. When I got home I went out back and sat down on a bench. I looked up at the stars. I looked across at my city. I could see more lights tonight than I did in Port Au Prince, which is 50 times the size of Corner Brook. I'll blame that on rolling hills being in the way in Haiti, but I know there are other factors.

I wish I could get that feeling on-demand. It's time to make good on the promise I made myself. But that doesn't need to be addressed here.

Tonight was just a good night. Nights like this lend me the resolve I need.

A year from now, I will be in a better place.

A Conflict

I've never really minded too much when my lungs asserted themselves. Honestly, it's probably because they've been fixing my mistakes all along the way. Well, as far as breathing goes.

You see, the only times that my lungs have forcibly taken control of themselves is after I've done something stupid, such as trying to hold my breath for a minute. Or like that time I tried to run to school after watching 300. Half way through my lungs just screamed "STOP, YOU FOOL!" My lungs then spent five minutes breathing heavily, trying to suck in more oxygen. "Sorry" my brain said. "It was Testosterone's idea, not mine. He said we should be more manly. Men run. So I decided we should run."

My lungs were too busy working to fix the mistake to discuss the matter. And like good body parts do, they rendered control of my mobility over to my legs and brain shortly after the oxygen deficit had been corrected. Perhaps my brain had caught the look in the lungs' eyes. "Foolish boys." Not wanting to disappoint, the brain made sure to take care of the lungs for a while after that, making sure they never had to work too hard. I guess it was sort of like the brain trying to make up for the trouble it had caused.

The lungs probably would have done a better job running my body than my brain has done. But the lungs only really took over when the situation was so far out of hand. The lungs are great like that. The brain could learn a thing or two about sensibility and sensitivity.

The stomach in recent days has been a different case, however. Between mouth, brain and stomach, there has been a pretty drawn out war of attrition.

Upon my body's arrival back from Haiti, a bug had been setting in. Stomach was kicking up a fuss, like a good internal organ should, I suppose. But mouth was also making demands. After two weeks away from McDonalds, Louis-Gee's Pizza, and other such Canadian goodies, it had been declared that "There will be no negotiations with Stomach on this matter." Brain initially sided with mouth on this, despite the close alliance between Stomach and Bowels, and the possible havoc that unholy union could wreak.

The decision was made: "Mouth, eat what you will, and share that pleasure with Brain. Stomach will sort out it's own affairs. Once Stomach decides to get it's act together and join in on the enjoyment, Stomach will bring Bowels back into the fold as well."

Well Stomach and Bowels have shown themselves to have some lasting power. While Stomach has been actively rocking the boat almost every moment of every day, Bowels have been acting similarly, asserting it's will over the rest of the body by putting in urgent calls every hour or so. Brain was heard to remark that it was good luck that Bladder hadn't been drawn into this whole conflict.

The whole conflict has sort of gone into a whole feedback loop as well. With Bowels being as contrary as he is, Nose (close friend to mouth) has gotten involved, further agitating Stomach.

Therefore Brain has made a change in policy, hoping to find a lasting peace. Mouth will have to curb it's appetite for as long as Stomach is on the outs. Stomach will give this plan a few days to try it out. If Stomach manages to get his act together quickly, he will help reign in Bowels. Until then, Bowels will likely be indirectly affecting Stomach through Nose.

Lungs have stayed silent during the whole ordeal so far, despite some assumed agitation that Bowels were causing (Nose and Lungs are also quite close diplomatically). On the whole, Lungs seem to be enjoying the fact that Brain, and Testosterone are not collaborating.

Lungs could only wish Brain was similarly occupied more often.

The Golden Compass

So, I had never even heard of this book until this morning. But I just watched the trailer, did some wikipedia-ing, and now I'm excited.

Check it.

Vialet

I just did a pretty dumb thing. I laid down to rest at about 5:30, and didn't wake up until 11:oo. I'm not going to be able to sleep.

Luckily, I awoke vividly remembering my time in Vialet: a small community about the size of Corner Brook a 45 minute drive away from Petit Goave, in Haiti.

Specifically I was remembering a little girl. I don't really remember her face at all. There were so many children. The face I keep remembering her with is wrong: it's one of the two girls I dubbed "The cutest two little girls on Earth." I certainly don't remember her name. If I had ever asked (which I'm sure I didn't), I had a hard enough time remembering the four or five working men's names over a week period.

Somebody made the joking observation that there were no two kids with the same names in Haiti. I believe it. From seemingly common names like John, to awesome names like Romulus, and the even more crazy Messiah. There might have been doubles though. When you ask a name, you're never quite sure if they're going to give you their name, their family name, a nickname, or something else.

Anyways. The girl. I remember she was wearing a dirty white undershirt. Some sort of shorts or pants or something. I don't remember that so vividly, other than the fact that she was wearing pants. I was paying attention to that. It seems that only little boys are allowed to run around pants-less. With four or five exceptions. And this girl wasn't one of them.

I didn't remember what day it was, but it must have been a Tuesday. A crowd of us who hadn't seen the marketplace on Saturday went to check it out. With the exception of four or five women selling charcoal, the main marketplace was empty. Near the road people were selling fruits, drinks, and other "marketplace" things.

During our entire walk through Vialet, we had a steady flow of children following us. I don't remember this specifically, but if every other day of the trip was an indication, they were pointing at us, laughing, and yelling "Blanc! Blanc!" White is exotic, it seems.

I turned around to look at the kids following us, and caught the eye of this little girl in the dirty white undershirt. She was following close behind me, and watching my every step. I decided I would try to be silly, and I began to walk funny, with sweeping arm movements, and a dramatic knee dip in the middle of every step. She tried to mimic, but couldn't mimic and keep pace at the same time. She looked at me. She looked at the other local kids. She was giggling hysterically. Everybody was laughing at everything and everybody else. White his hilarious, it seems.

We got back to the church, and a crowd just hung around near the gate. There was no reason for them not to come in, but they just waited out there in the road around the massive sheet metal door. They must have been shy or something. The Canadians had sort of stopped working for the most part, and were hanging about with each other, and with the children. But the kids in the road wouldn't come in. White is intimidating, it seems.

Another encounter might have been after the market experience, or before. I don't exactly remember. The girls and boys had been separated to do their crafts for children's ministry. I was sitting among a group of boys trying to show them how to do an Elephant stick puppet. I was frustratedly demanding "Regarde! Regarde!" but in retrospect I'm not entirely sure I was saying it right. Vialet didn't have a school either. The kids present might never have learned French.

Anyways. I was gluing together a kid's Elephant for him, and half a dozen hands were constantly demanding my attention, showing Elephants with noses for ears and tongues for eyes. The boys' eyes were inquisitive. At first all I had said was "Non, non, Regarde!" I was laughing in my head at the silly boys. I had joked after about how bad their Elephants were. But really, even if they had listened, they would not have been much better. I never could get Sunday school kids to follow instructions in English. How much more-so when they only understand Creole.

After a while I stopped trying to fix their mistakes. Another kid would hold up an Elephant and I'd hold up my thumbs. "Bon! Bon!" As I began to realize that these kids were exactly like the kids back home, I began to mean it.

I had just stood up from the ground from where I was sitting, surrounded by boys and their Elephants, when I saw a sad little girl in an immaculate white dress. The girls had made little flower necklaces instead of Elephants, and the center of her flower, a shiny jewel-like thing you buy from the buck-or-two in bulk, had fallen off. Her mother, or her older sister, or somebody, had brought her to Jen or another girl on the team.

Half a second with a Popsicle stick and glue, and the flower was fixed. The girl was beaming. She was sticking her flower-adorned chest out so far it was almost parallel with the ground. She looked so happy. She went to run around with the other girls. I saw her later and the jewel had fallen off again. She didn't seem to notice.

Oh, also, it was about that time that I declared the girl in the white dress "one of the two most beautiful little girls earth." The other one was wearing a pink dress with flowers on it. I think I might have pictures of the both of them, which I'll post later if I do.

Haiti is just beginning to hit me. My last night there was probably the most incredible night for the past year. Maybe I'll post on that later too.

A Promise for Later

Even before going to Haiti, my bloggage was lacking. I'm not going to change that now. It's too bad how I get ready to write something here, but then something spoils my mood, or I get distracted. It's my own fault I suppose.

Anyhoo, soon. Sometime this week I'll post on Haiti. I might just type sections of my journal here. That would be quick and easy.

Haiti

Tonight I'm heading off to Haiti. It's going to be a great experience.

If Haiti implodes due to problems relating to an excess of awesomeness, this is my official apology.

Hopefully I'll be able to take some pictures, and post them once I'm back. That's if I come back! Hah.

Good times.