Missing Philosophy and Nan

I'm sitting here right now in the University Center.

My Philosophy class started five minutes ago.

You have no idea how painful it is to sit here and just watch the time tick by.

Why am I not in Philosophy class? Good question. It's one part embarrassment at not having last Friday's notes. A classmate asked if I could bring them in for her to copy, but I haven't been home since noon yesterday and I had forgotten to take them then.

Oh yeah ... noon yesterday.

I got a call from my aunt Gail right as I was preparing to get up for the day. The message: "Nan's calling the family together."

Let me tell you ... I hadn't even left the house yet and I probably cried more than the rest of the family combined for the whole day. I am the woman.

So yeah, Nan is still with us for the time being. Yesterday a few times she said something to the effect of "I want to go home," which didn't happen. My fear was that she was just buying time until dad and aunt Marley arrived. Well they're here now, and I can't help but wonder if she's going to let herself go.

Not that she shouldn't, or rather, it's not that she doesn't deserve to end all her pain.

If there are eight billion people on the earth right now, I can think of seven billion, nine hundred and ninety nine million, nine hundred and ninety nine thousand, nine hundred and ninety nine people who deserve what Nan has gone through more than she does. And I'm not just saying this about my Nan, because I didn't get to know her, or spend nearly as much time with her as I wanted, but she is honestly the most beautiful person on planet Earth.

She's the kind of person I've wanted to show off to people. In some stupid way, I had hoped she would last long enough to meet whoever my future wife will turn out to be. Or even to introduce her to every last one of my friends.

That doesn't look like it'll happen though. Unless I get engaged, or all my friends randomly move to St. John's in the next day or so.

Also, thanks for the macaroni and cheese Meagan. We have a huge and hungry family, so the size was quite appropriate.

EDIT: I guess I'll tack this on here too. Like somebody said, it sounds too conspiracy theory-ish, but if it's true ... holy crap guys.

When Did I Change Lanes?

I was thinking today about how much my thinking has changed in the past year.

A year ago I held Arts students in contempt. This year I am an arts student. While my contempt was mostly for fine arts students, it was mostly based on throwing away an education for a "profession" that'll be useless for putting bread on the table. Now I'm a Philosophy student, and though I'm not planning on pursuing it to this level, Philosophy PhDs are the most unemployed post-graduate degrees out there.

I used to be a bit more of a pessimist, I think. I'd consider myself an optimist today though. But that's come with an idealism that I'd have hated a year ago. I often find myself chanting slogans like "To Love is to Live" under my breath while walking around school. The world isn't like that, I know, but it just rings true to me.

There are a hundred smaller things too. I've become more social, and yet I've become a tiny bit more serious about school. I've become more scriptural in my thinking too. My philosophy on dating or whatever has changed a bit, and technology has taken a slightly lower key role in my life (despite the fact that I have more of it now).

I dunno what's going on. I can't say I don't like the change, since we're talking about who I am right now, and that's a person I like a bit more than the yesterday-me. It's just that ... a year ago, I'd have laughed if you told me who I'd be today.

Help Me

I don't know what I want or why, and what I've decided on, I can't figure out how to execute. I've got the next few years of my life decided on (for now), but I'm still not feeling at ease.

Help me.

A Life Like LEGO

Right now I'm getting that feeling of unassembled mess being laid out before me.

It's sort of like looking at a pile of LEGO blocks. Not a brand new box, because when you open that, you know that all the pieces are there, and they'll be easy to find. In less than an hour you'll have assembled something amazing.

It's that feeling you get when you look at a massive tub of LEGO blocks. Maybe you just found an old set of instructions, so you're going to try and build the toy pictured. But this tub is filled with thousands of blocks and you only need maybe two hundred. You're not even sure if all the pieces are there ... and even if they are it's going to take forever to sift through the ones you don't need.

It's that feeling of dread. You know that something amazing can be built out of the circumstance, your relationships, and the point you're at in life. You've got faith that something can be built, but you're dreading the action of sifting through those pieces of your existence.

I've got my education to think about. My relationships with people. My plans for the future. None of it is fitting right now, and I fear I might be cracking the blocks trying to force them together here and there. Yesterday I felt as if some pieces finally clicked, or fell into place, but today I wonder if that was just my idealism, or a hopeful imagining.

The longer this post goes on, the less sense it'll make. So I'll just end that here.

Wonderwall

I have a strange relationship with this song.

Way back in what must have been Junior High, I sort of liked a girl named Eileen. Nobody could blame me for that. She was pretty cool. Anyways, I asked my friend Adam for her email adress, so I could start talking to her on MSN. Because, you know, that's just a safe thing to do.

Adam gives me an address and I add it to MSN. I spend months talking to 'Eileen' like this. During the discourse the topic of favorite songs came up. She mentions Oasis' Wonderwall, and sends it to me. I listen to it and fall in love with it.

One day in school I decide to mention this to Eileen, how much I love the song.

"What song?" she asks.

"Wonderwall!" I reply.

"Wonderwall? Hey, yeah, that is a nice song ... "

"That's your favorite song ... isn't it?"

"No. I don't know what my favorite song is." She spent the next few minutes throwing out possibilities.

Adam had given me Victoria's email.

On purpose.

Abortion

"No, I do not believe that abortion is morally justifiable."

A pause.

"Though ..." A longer pause. "In some cruel way, I'm glad those aborted children don't have to deal with this messed up world: the world that let them die."

Much Writing and Speech

Life lately has consisted of much writing. Writing papers for school, resumes to get a job, and now a testimony-sort thing for an application I'm writing out.

Ugh. Why must there be so much writing on the go?

I enjoy having things written, but the process of writing is pretty crappy, I'm not going to lie to you.

Another thing I've noticed is just how much my speech is influenced by those around me. The last statement of the previous paragraph is an example. "I'm not going to lie to you" is a phrase that Greg used hardcore right before he went back to Ontario.

Also an incorrect use of the phrase "As if" has been grafted into my speech. An example would be "As if you just said that!" or "As if we're talking about this." Perhaps "As if you just said 'as if!'"

I think it's come to mean "I cannot believe."

I also took the lord's name seriously in vain there today. I was scared crapless by a car flying by at high speed mere centimeters from my leg. The phrase that escaped my lips was probably the more surprising than the incident, though.

Whoops.

Please

Wow. Some people are nutjobs. I can understand maybe not wanting controversial materials to be taught to your children, but what is this guy on?

You don't disagree that global warming is happening? Oh, you don't want it shown in a secular school system because it makes no mention of the "real" reason (God) global warming is happening. It makes sense to me! ... or not?

I still have to see that movie.

"No you will not teach or show that propagandist Al Gore video to my child, blaming our nation -- the greatest nation ever to exist on this planet -- for global warming," Hardison wrote in an e-mail to the Federal Way School Board.

The 43-year-old computer consultant is an evangelical Christian who says he believes that a warming planet is "one of the signs" of Jesus Christ's imminent return for Judgment Day.

Early Christian Thought

Here I am blogging.

Which isn't the same as writing a Religious Studies paper.

I've already procrastinated it two days, despite having pretty much absolutely nothing to do on Wednesday. It's not due 'till next Friday, but I really want to do well on it, since it's worth something like 30% of my grade.

It's only 3-5 pages, but as of yet I have no idea what I want to say.

Ooh, depending on what I get for my Philosophy paper, too, I think I'll post it here. That way instead of "Working on papers" I can call all my work this term "blogging." Do you think I can trick myself like that?

I hope so.

Worry

Maybe I worry a little bit too much about what people think about me.

I've typically held an air of "I don't care" when people tell me something I've said is stupid, or that what I've done is silly. Maybe that's why I can't express myself, for fear of rejection and condemnation by people who really shouldn't have that much impact on my life.

Maybe I'll get over that.

In the meantime, I wish I had the money for some oil paints.

A Gross Day

Josh awoke that disgusting Wednesday morning to his alarm clock. The display read six forty five. Dreading both possible outcomes in different ways, he rolled out of bed, and checked the Memorial University of Newfoundland's website.

Classes canceled for the morning. More info coming at eleven o'clock. The pang of grief Josh felt for the lost Philosophy class gave way to the realization that the day was his to conquer.

A glance across the room became a stare. The bed beckoned. A desperate dive for comfortable refuge met the loving embrace of heavy blankets.

The only other thing that disturbed him before he arose at a bit after noon, was his roommate's clock radio conveying loudly the same information Josh had found on the internet. He didn't mind too much though. Good news could come as many times and ways as it wished.

...

=====

So that was my morning. Other than that my day was pretty bad. I didn't get any work done, and I found out later that my Psychology class wasn't canceled. Unfortunate since that was the only class I actually wanted to miss.

At supper time I decided that I'd throw something simple in my belly. "Meatballs, meet microwave." It was a delicious union.

At a bit after six I departed the house, bound for Psychology. I stopped into the corner store to pick up my anti-sad pills (aka. m&m's). After that I decided I needed to get a drink and picked up a Jone's soda from the shoppers down the road.

Let me tell you. The first m&m tasted a bit like happiness, but they went downhill as the bag got lighter. And Jone's Soda failed me for the first time ever. Not only did the picture on the bottle say "Protest Boredom" (a message I find quite shallow, even for a pop bottle), but the sage advice I'm supposed to find under the cap simply told me to turn off my cell phone. I don't have one, so it was pretty useless. Add all that to the fact that I think I've discovered the absolute worst flavor of drink ever. What the heck is Watermelon Soda anyways?

By the time I got to my Psychology class, my back was hurting more than it had been in the day, my sneakers, socks and pants were sopping wet, and my head hurt from trying to figure out why I was feeling as sad as I was.

I spent a total of 22 seconds in my Psychology class before leaving and coming home.

So today in numbers:

0: Challenges for a fight to the death
4: Number of cars that splashed me
22: Seconds spent in class
90: Pages of Frankenstein to be read for tomorrow
144: Grams of m&m's eaten
unknown: The number of licks to get to the center of a tootsie pop.

Classes Go Ahead

Of course the evening classes are going ahead today.

I mean, the only class I wanted to miss is at 7:00! Doesn't that make sense?

...

Why does God hate me?

Slingshots

Wow. This is hilarious.

Who the heck is going to be scared of a slingshot? "Be careful, they can kill you if you get hit in the temple!"

Sure, I get why it happened, and I have no practical alternatives in my mind, but really ...

The police department has issued about 60 slingshots to officers in the violent border city of Tijuana, where soldiers confiscated police weapons two weeks ago on allegations of collusion with drug traffickers.

I think Relevant slices said it best ...

Sure, slingshots aren't ideal when encountering automatic-weapon-donning cartel gangs, but those little bearings "sting like the dickens!" according to some drug runners

Retreat and Regroup

So the SASF retreat is pretty much over now. There's one service left tonight, but the shenanigans are finished, and I have to say that the whole thing, while uplifting, depressed me a little bit.

Allow me an explanation.

The whole weekend was great. There were jokes, there were games, and despite a bit of a down spell on Friday night for me, it was great fun. Saturday night saw 30+ of us sit around a fireplace and have a devotion/prayer time. Probably one of the more incredible things that's happened for me in the past few months.

But as soon as it was over, I realized that it was over. I've got this incredible desire to be part of a community, and there are so many awesome people at SASF, I wish we could have that elevated level of community for more than one weekend a semester. I mean, we're always a community, yeah, but the spiritual aspect really exploded last night, and I want that. I want that more than anything else I have ever wanted before.

So that depressed me a little that it doesn't seem like I can have that, you know? As in, it's "achievable," but doesn't happen nearly as much as I'd like.

Highlights for me:
- Sitting on the stairs with Jeremy, Mark, and (I think) Heidi, just chatting.
- Sitting with Zack and others singing choruses at 2 a.m.
- Listening to an incredibly trivial, but incredibly entertaining conversation between Jordan and Andrew (Richard).
- Seeing stars! (Oh St. John's, how I hate your sky.)

Give Me Attention!

I checked Google Analytics just then, and I've just got to post the map again.


Seriously, nobody hates people tooting their own horn more than me, and I know that's what it sounds like I'm doing, but this shocks me. It says 53 people are returning visitors, do I even know that many people? 37 are direct, and the rest are referrals.

Please, comment if you feel like it. It's nicer to get a comment than to just have an arbitrary number on a pie-chart.

This is pretty sweet stuff, that a site I thought was so far below the internet radar has had so many visits in three days.

I'll never look at any webpage the same again.

Confession and Rectification

I have to admit something to everyone today.

Despite being the geek that I am, and having called myself a "Gamer" on numerous occasions in the past ... I had never actually beaten the original Super Mario Brothers.

Until today.

Take that King Koopa!

Pack Mule 2.0?

Came across this today, and thought it was pretty neat. Saw it in an article about the military, so I'm not sure if it's being designed for the army or not.

Either way, this thing is pretty cool. A bit loud, but who knows where the idea will go.

BigDog is the alpha male of the Boston Dynamics family of robots. It is a quadruped robot that walks, runs, and climbs on rough terrain and carries heavy loads. BigDog is powered by a gasoline engine that drives a hydraulic actuation system.

I'm Watching You

I forgot that one of the reasons I switched back to blogger in the first place was the ability to use plugins/unique elements. I set up my first two yesterday with the Sally Bloggers web ring thing again, and also, setting up Google Analytics.

I have to say this is pretty cool:


9 unique viewers yesterday? I'm not sure why I'm so surprised. The weird ones I thought I would know. The one in the UK would be Chris, States would be Tammy, but I'm not sure about the ones from Toronto or Alberta.

Neat, hey? So let it be known: you're being watched.

Small Philosophy

I just did a round on Sally Bloggers (I just updated my profile on it, since it was still pointing to my MSN space!) and saw "Carlos Online." It mentioned philosophy in the description, so I checked it out.

On it was a document called "Nano-Philosophy" and here's a bit of it. I can't link to it, so if you want to check it out, go to Carlos Online.

=====

The 21st Century promises to be the age of the very small. Silicon chips, ever shrinking, crammed with ever more information! Data storage on things smaller still than the tiniest known chip, soon down to the atomic and subatomic level!

...

In an effort to bring philosophy on board, members of University of Waterloo's Department of Philosophy began the search for very, very small philosophical questions. ... Since then, a whole team of dedicated researchers have contributed their suggestions. Here is the list so far:

Metaphysics
- What is the sound of two hands clapping?
- Is there something rather than nothing?
...
- Which came first, the chicken or the omelette?

Theology
...
- Is there life after birth?
- Can the existence of an all-powerful, all-knowing, all-loving God be reconciled with the existence of Elvis? (This is the Problem of Elvis.)

Philosophy of Mind and Language
- Can a Chinese man in a room understand Chinese symbols?
- If a human could speak, could we understand it?
- Is there a relationship between language and talk?
...
- If a mad scientist replaced my original brain with a silicon brain, would my shoes still fit?

Ethics
- Is it permissible to harm none to save five?
...
- Do two wrongs ever make more than one wrong?
- Does 'human existence' have any meaning?
...

Philosophy of Science
...
- Is classical mechanics consistent with Newton's laws?

...

Epistemology
...
- How would things look if the Earth rotated on it's axis?

=====

I found some of those pretty funny. Maybe it's just a strange sense of humor.

Do you have any contributions to the list?

EDIT: Also just saw this. Pretty cool, hey? I wish I could just plant my broken iPod!

Josh's Video Blog

I've been thinking a lot about video blogs. Mostly on whether I like them or not, and not particularly on whether I should start one. As I see it now, the only reason I'd start a video blog is to document my interesting life. Since my life right now isn't very interesting, I'll leave it be.

That didn't stop me from making this though. It's mostly foolishness, and took me a good hour to make. Honestly, I wish more people would drop out of this video blogging thing, since 90% of the ones I've seen are pretty dull. Maybe drop out of it is the wrong wish ... perhaps put more effort into it? Just search it on YouTube and you'll see what I mean.

The absolute only example I have on me about the merits of video blogging, is the show with zefrank. Watch it until your soul corrodes.

So here's Josh's Video Blog: 01 "Finale."

Heraclitus

=====

Philosophy 1200/2200 Diagnostic Paper Topic

In Fragment 14, Heraclitus claims that "In the same river we both step and do not step, we are and are not." What is paradoxical about this statement? Why is it not merely paradoxical, i.e., what is he saying ontologically and epistemologically about the world?

=====

Wow. Don't you know that? I think I know exactly what I'm going to say!

...

...

not.

Darker Tomorrow

Tonight I'm going to go to bed after a pretty wicked day.

Tomorrow I'm going to wake up in a much darker St. John's.

Catherine and Greg are going to Ontario, until at LEAST next September. Seeming as I'm thinking there's a possibility I won't be here next year, it's going to be a while until we can next hang out.

The group that's been hanging out here has been Greg, Catherine, Meighan, and Mark. As very upbeat, fun people, I think we'd all agree that Greg and Catherine were the core of the group.

It's not fair. I crippled myself in the first two months of being here in St. Johns, and when I finally pursued relationships outside of my house, I got probably the best Christian friends I'd ever had.

Now that group has been very much exploded.

I know we'll all meet again someday ... maybe even next September, depending on how it all works out ... but that's no consolation for the fact that my social habit in St. John's just went straight to hell.

Square one much?

In the meantime Mark is going to put our "That 70's Show" Video on youtube in the next few days. It's basically Greg, Mark and I trying to act like stoners a-la That 70's Show's circle hotbox thing they do. I have to admit, I was hugely discouraged after a poor showing at the McWhiteson house. However, tonight my fears of lame-ness were dashed by people rolling on the floor. Hey, I guess it's just a case of differing senses of humor after all.

Death of a Friend

My iPod learned a new trick today. It played dead.

Unfortunately, it played dead too well, and now I'm looking at this lovely symbol:

I've checked the replacement cost. It's only one month out of warranty, and is going to cost me $300 CAD to replace.

Folks, that's the price of a new iPod. Screw that. I'm going to buy a new one, and have a blast sending this one off into the next world. Maybe run over it in a car, take a hammer to it, or something.

AAAAGH, this angers me so. It makes me wonder if my laptop is going to last too.

I'll be searching for a job a bit sooner than I expected to have to.

James Bond Visits Canada

Well, the British Intelligence Service has nothing to do with this, but I though this article was pretty darn interesting.

"In a U.S. government warning high on the creepiness scale, the Defense Department cautioned its American contractors over what it described as a new espionage threat: Canadian coins with tiny radio frequency transmitters hidden inside."

Pretty crazy, huh?

Spiders on Crack

This is hilarious. A smaaaaal bit of language, but very ... hilarious.

"Courtship"?

So. A two hour conversation, and request to borrow my copy of I Kissed Dating Goodbye have filled my past few days with thoughts on dating and relationship.

Out of curiosity, I searched wikipedia for Joshua Harris (whom I've been mistakenly calling Josh McDowell for several months now). That led me to a critique of Harris' opinions on dating and courtship, and I'm just about to give him a little bit more respect. I've traditionally held that his thoughts on Christian relationships are a bit too strict, and in some cases are foolish. I still believe this, but I can't deny that the core of his argument is probably the best way.

Joshua Harris apparently is not a member of the "Biblical Courtship" movement, though it's been said that he has pushed others in that direction.

After reading the Biblical Courtship article on Wikipedia, I only have two ammendments I'd make to their points before I swallow them entirely.

The point on Supervision over the courtship is probably a good one, though I imagine that being more of an accountable supervision. Certain privacy rights are probably no-fly-zones, but there is still a need for privacy here and there. Supervision probably shouldn't resemble a Nazi occupation.

The next point I'll just copy and paste first:
"The importance of singleness before marriage as a time for greater Christian service in the community, rather than a time to be employed in selfish pursuits."
I'm not quite sure I'm agreement with this. It is important to "make the most of your singleness" as Harris puts it. Relationships take effort, and if there's no relationship to take up effort, put that effort into something useful. I'm also a fan of the single time being a time when you become the perfect someone. Work on how you deal with people, spend time doing things around the house ... all things Harris also says.

So I guess "singleness" is actually important, though I fear people might interpret this as a command to prolong singleness unhealthily. Example: besides there being no "prospects" right now is probably not a terrific time for me to get into a relationship. I've heard others say similar things, because of percieved immaturity, lack of time, focus on other areas of life, etc. However, once the time comes when Marriage is concievable ... when you're confident in your ability to be a good husband/wife, when you reach a decent age, or other points ... I don't believe it's right to put off the search.

Maybe that's not what I'm trying to say. What I probably mean is "I'm not going to wait any longer than I have to, to start looking."

Heck, I guess really I'm looking now. I see my (female) friends here and there, and I wonder whether "it" could work. I haven't found anybody yet who'se answer is an unbiased "yes," but I wonder what I'd do if I thought I found one.

But I digress.

I'm going to have to read Harris' book once more and sort that out.

P.S. One of the biggest criticisms from me on Harris has always been where he draws "the line" when it comes to physicality. There's a brief story on a couple who decided that there would be no hugs. If I recall, the book encourges drawing the line before kissing. As in, the first kiss would come with the wedding.

Like I said. This was probably my biggest criticism, but now that I think about it, it's probably a good idea.

The Human Brain

Appropriate quote to find on the eve of my first Psychology class.

"If the human brain was made simple enough for us to understand, it would render us too stupid to figure it out."

It came from the novel Sophie's World which I've finished now, but where the quote came from is not specified.

Concept of Time

So today I've grasped how terrible my concept of time is.

I left the school at around 11:00 to head to Staples, and pick up a pencil sharpener, paper, and a mouse pad among other things. By the time I got home on the bus, I figured it was at the earliest 2:00. I was guessing closer to 3.

I walked in the door, and the microwave informed me that it was only 12:47.

I love when I over-estimate the time, because it's like getting a few free hours added to my day.

Course Changes and C. Z. Kuo

After looking around for courses on the MUN Site, I think I might actually switch out of Math into either "Early Christian Thought: The First Five Centuries" or "Apocalypse: The End Times" ... both Religious Studies courses which scares me a little, but what can you do?

I've also checked out a few of my professors on RateMyProfessors.com. I can't believe that my (soon to be ex) Math teacher doesn't have any Quotes up. From the blog of Meagan White ...

"My professor is a hilarious little Chinese(I think) guy whom we are to refer to as C. Z.. "The 3 is a sheet destuba*, so we get rid of it." Oh, that class is going to be fun."

Yep, he's Chinese. He's hilarious. He made me reconsider dropping math, for sheer enjoyment. His lecture on derivatives went something like this.

"The Derivative is a tool. I call it a knife. Like Japanese shinsu** knife. Chop chop. Very sharp. ...

This function is beautiful. It like beautiful woman. Brittney Spears ...

So we take the knife, and we swing at beautiful B.S. and we chop off tip of her nose. So we have deformed Brittney Spears, and little piece of Brittney Spears on the floor ... "

I can't even do him justice, seriously. I love how he described the Integral as crazy glue, afterwards, and we put the tip of "Beautiful B.S." back on.

And then about how the derivative is like an angry mother, who is chasing a little boy (apparently with the knife mentioned before, on a mission for blood). But the integral is like the old grandfather, who gives candy. When they meet, the mother punishes the boy, but the grandfather gives candy, so nothing is really learned from the whole process.

Again, I just can't do him justice.

* actual phrase used was "Shit Disturber" I've been informed

** I don't know the spelling of the word, but they're the cooking knives that the crazy Japanese chefs use. You know, like when they throw a red pepper into the air, and manage to carve it into a miniature Venus de Milo before it hits the grill.

Life at 2 A.M.

So, I just checked my blog for comments (why are there never any?) and realized that exactly 24 hours prior I had blogged my last post. Weird, huh?

Today was pretty cool. Greg woke me up with pounding on my door. After a quick shower, I departed the house with him, to Mark's house. After a few errands and pizza at Mrs. Vanelli's, we headed back to my house, for some Wii Sports. Golf, specifically.

I met the rest of Greg, Catherine, and Steph's camp friends, and of the three, I remember no names. I can't believe that. We went to Chess's Fish and Chips, came back to my house, then went bowling.

I have to say, it was a pretty fun evening. I was excited for an all-nighter consisting of movie watching and Joan of Arcadia (something I have yet to see any of), but decided it'd be best to come home and go to bed. I read some of my book, listened to some music, and now I'm headed to bed in a few minutes.

It's uncanny how incredible I find the simplest of things. I walked in the rain tonight, home from bowling. It was wet, but ... incredible in a way. Maybe it's just an attitude thing. Being dry can be just as incredible, I suppose, but it's just not a departure from the norm.

Back to the routine tomorrow. I need to remember to talk to an academic adviser or something about what I'm doing for University next year. I really want to go to Booth College, but their programs don't seem to cover "real" theology. It might be better to do all my courses at the University of Winnipeg, since they have a Faculty of Philosophy, and a Faculty of Theology. And since I'm not particularly drawn to Winnipeg (the only reason I'd go there if there are other options, is for Booth College), it might be better to look for other universities with both programs.

Apparently the University of Chicago has got an excelent Philosophy program too. Hah! Imagine that!

EDIT: Another completely unrelated point, but something I found interesting was this website. Updated last on September 10th, 2001. When people talk about the Post9-11 world, this website isn't included.

Yeah, never mind then.

Are Wii Having Fun?

I thought I'd go through my Wii's log today and see how much time I've been spending on it.

Since December 25th, It's been in use for 25 hours and 10 minutes.
Average daily time: 2 hours 6 minutes.
Most time in a day: 5 hours, 30 minutes on December 25th.
Least time in a day: three minutes on December 26th.

I might record monthly stats, just because I'm a geek like that. I wish the machine did it for you, but whatever. Maybe in the future, that'll be an update.

Edumication

A short conversation today with my Father about Asbury College, in Kentucky, has spawned much brain-turning in me. I'm beginning to hate this whole thinking thing. A year ago I had a bit of contempt for Arts Students. Now I am one.

A few months ago, when everybody was talking about leaving MUN for greener pastures, I thought they were being foolish. Now I'm thinking about it.

I tell you, the most mail I ever got was from Booth College, in Winnipeg, and now I'm looking their way. It might be just perfect. Cost of a year there is estimated on their site at $13 000, not too much more then at MUN, and certainly not the $26 000 USD for Asbury College. I can do Christian Studies in Booth, and Philosophy through The University of Winnipeg. As an added bonus, Booth is an affiliate of Jerusalem University College, and I could do a term or two there if I could ever make the money for it.

Perhaps? I think I'll talk to an academic adviser about it soon. Or Marlene. I still have no idea how much this would even cost. I'd have to get an application soon.

Return to Town

If you had told me in July that in December I would dread the return to St. John's, I'd have laughed in your face. A nice bit has changed for me in Corner Brook, and more is going to change over the next while too.

I talked with my counselor about searching for a rewind button a while back. A desire to return to the familiar, because the new wasn't working out so well. There's still a nagging feeling, a want for a rewind button, but I'm really getting to understand that moving home isn't as close to a "rewind" as I had hoped.

Hanging out with some people here has been uncomfortable. For some it's because I never liked them much anyways. For other's it's because I once liked them so much more. Still others, because I wish I had spent more time with them in the past.

If somebody had told me so much would change in so little time while I was in High School, I again, would have laughed in their face.

I'm not laughing now.

Sometimes in a Video Game, if I'm stuck behind some cover, and I know there's no way back, instead of waging a cautious firefight, I'll run out from cover, guns blazing, and grenades flying. Blindly rushing forward, making decisions on the fly. Running for the next bit of cover, or to find a new escape. If I'm lucky, I might stumble into a way to complete my objective during my blind charge.

An uncomfortable majority of the time, I end up dead, but that's what I'm feeling like right now ... like a cornered animal. The only possible way out is to rush forward blindly, and the odds are quite against.

I'm quite aware of how overly-dramatic a turn my blog has taken recently, and as much as I hate drama queen-ism, I'm not sure how to exercise this from me. Tomorrow I'll be able to walk to my Tim Horton's again, and think it all through.

I'm also considering buying a typewriter.

Nice Kitty Cat

I feel the need to make an apology to Napolean Dynamite. When you talked about a Liger, I chuckled a little bit.

No more. If Penguins go extinct, Napolean, we'll have the same favorite animal.

2007!

So!

It's 2007.

It doesn't feel very different. It's funny ... a few people have talked about feeling more mature now, or remembering "growing up" at the age I'm at now, but it's safe to say, I haven't done so. I'm still a fool, who hardly knows which side is up.

"Wisest is he who knows he does not know"

So I know I'm a fool ... that make me wise now? Not quite. I like that quote, but it does leave something to be desired.

What's going to happen in 2007? There are 365 days of opportunity ahead of me. What can I do with all that time?

Maybe if I don't worry about it, incredible things will happen anyways. You know, accidentally.

Resolutions? I don't particularly like New Year's resolutions. Somebody commented to me once a few years ago that they're a Procrastinator's trick. You sound good for having resolutions, but you decide to put them off until a particular date.

If there are a few resolutions I'd like to make, they'd be as follows:
-Stop spending so much time on my computer, maybe get a typewriter.
-Read a little bit more.
-Chill with people more often.
-See my Nan more often (since it's a resolution that in all likelihood I won't be able to make next year).
-Make an effort to slow down my speech since I don't need to be talking that fast anyways, and it makes me sound more like a fool.
-Stop worrying about making mistakes.
-Go on at least three dates before the semester ends (how can I deny female kind of this any longer? It's simply cruel!).
-Stop talking about myself like I'm God's gift to humanity (though we all know I am).

I've sort of been working on those for a few weeks anyways, but maybe calling them "New Year's Resolutions" will give them more clout. Doubtful.

Bedtime.